How Asking One Hard Question Builds Deeper Trust, with Alain de Botton
The High Performance Podcast4 Kesä 2025

How Asking One Hard Question Builds Deeper Trust, with Alain de Botton

This new Essential Habits series breaks down the key habits behind high performance, one episode at a time. This week’s habit is deceptively simple: asking better questions.


Philosopher Alain de Botton joins us to explore how a single, uncomfortable question, “How have I annoyed you?” can deepen trust, defuse tension, and create stronger connections in every part of life.


Whether it’s at home, at work, or with close friends, we often avoid the conversations that would help us grow. Alain shows us a different way, one built on emotional generosity, honest listening, and the courage to be vulnerable.


In this episode, we explore:


  • Why awkward questions build trust
  • How to listen without getting defensive
  • The science behind emotional connection
  • What high-performing teams can learn from philosophy
  • The hidden power of backstories and being 'truly heard'


Here is a list of studies referenced in the episode:


  1. The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness. Arthur Aron, Elaine Aron (1997)
  2. Understanding the conversation gap: Why employees aren’t talking, and what we can do about it (Braverly), referenced in How to Navigate Difficult Conversations with Employees. Harvard Negotiation Project
  3. Rejection Really Hurts, published in Science (Oct 2003). University Of California - Los Angeles
  4. Daring Greatly by Brené Brown


Listen to the full episode with Alain De Botton here: https://pod.fo/e/1f5db0


Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Jaksot(668)

E12 - Series One Roundup with Jake & Damian

E12 - Series One Roundup with Jake & Damian

Jake and Damian reflect on the fantastic guests from series one, including Rio Ferdinand, Ant Middleton, Mauricio Pochettino, Steven Bartlett, Robin Van Persie, Holly Tucker, Kelly Holmes and many mor...

25 Touko 202033min

E11 - Sean Dyche: Allowing individual brilliance in a team environment

E11 - Sean Dyche: Allowing individual brilliance in a team environment

Sean Dyche is the current manager of Burnley, having been in charge since October 2012. For 20 years he was a professional footballer making over 450 appearances, but he is best known as a manager. Hi...

18 Touko 202046min

Dame Kelly Holmes: Opening up about success and self-harm (E10)

Dame Kelly Holmes: Opening up about success and self-harm (E10)

Double Olympic Champion Col. Dame Kelly Holmes is one of the UK’s most popular athletes. Kelly is an Olympic, Commonwealth and European champion that has achieved seven Gold, eight Silver and four Bro...

11 Touko 202044min

E9 - Dylan Hartley: Learning independence and responsibility

E9 - Dylan Hartley: Learning independence and responsibility

Dylan Hartley won 97 caps for England, the most by any hooker, and as the England captain he had an incredible 85% win record. He led his country to two Six Nations titles – one of which was the first...

4 Touko 202048min

E8 - Holly Tucker: Wait for the right time and you’ll wait forever

E8 - Holly Tucker: Wait for the right time and you’ll wait forever

Holly Tucker is one of the UK’s most respected entrepreneurs. She is the founder of Holly & Co, UK Ambassador to Small Creative Businesses and co-founder of notonthehighstreet.com. Holly’s purpose and...

27 Huhti 202047min

E7 - Robin Van Persie: Lessons for your children

E7 - Robin Van Persie: Lessons for your children

Robin Van Persie is one the greatest strikers to win the Premier League. He scored 144 goals making him the highest-scoring player from the Netherlands in English top-flight history. He was a cult her...

20 Huhti 202044min

E6 - Tracey Neville: How sacrifice leads to success

E6 - Tracey Neville: How sacrifice leads to success

This week’s guest comes from family of sporting superstars; her dad was a professional cricketer and her brothers were both international footballers, but Tracey Neville transitioned from being an eli...

13 Huhti 202042min

Tom Daley: How trauma leads to triumph (E5)

Tom Daley: How trauma leads to triumph (E5)

This week’s guest is Tom Daley, one of Britain’s most recognised sportsmen. Tom has won a diving gold or finished first in a major competition every single year for 14 successive years! He won a natio...

6 Huhti 202042min

Suosittua kategoriassa Terveys ja hyvinvointi

unicast
tiedenaiset-podcast
psykopodiaa-podcast
rss-pitaisko-erota
voi-hyvin-meditaatiot-2
vakeva-elama-viisaampi-mieli-vahvempi-keho
selvin-pain
meditaatiot-suomeksi
paaasia-podcast
rss-uplevel-by-sonja-hannus
selviytyjat-tarinoita-elamasta
rss-pt-paahtio
junnut-pelissa
fitnessvastaanotto
katilon-kahvitunti
terapiassa
rss-duodecim-lehti
rss-nautinto
fitnesskulmapodcast
aamukahvilla