206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

206: How To Stop Self-Sabotage So You Can Quit Pornography and Repair Your Relationship

Want help uncovering the real reasons behind your urges and building a plan to overcome pornography use?

Click here to book a free call with Sam to get help to overcome pornographyhttps://stopporn.info/

Have questions you want me to address on future podcast episodes?

Email me here:

sam@healingcouples.org

Podcast Description: If you’ve ever wondered, “Why do I keep going back to porn even when I don’t want to?” — this episode is for you.

In today’s conversation, we’re uncovering why so many men sabotage their progress when trying to quit porn, even when they’re motivated, committed, and know what’s at stake. Whether you're struggling with porn addiction, trying to break the habit of watching porn, or working to rebuild trust after betrayal, this episode dives into the root of why you keep slipping—and how to stop.

You’ll learn:

Why you keep relapsing during porn recovery even when you really want to change

The emotional and psychological patterns that lead to self-sabotage during addiction recovery

What’s actually happening when you feel triggered, overwhelmed, or disconnected—and how that leads back to porn

How to work through the internal stories like “I’m never going to change” or “This is just who I am”

How men use porn as a way to escape feelings like shame, rejection, failure, and not being enough

Why many men unintentionally destroy the intimacy and trust they’re trying to rebuild with their wives

The real reason your past efforts to quit pornography haven’t worked—and what to do differently

Tools that actually work to build lasting freedom from porn, heal your marriage, and create long-term change

How to stop numbing, hiding, and isolating when you're in emotional pain

Real client stories of men who broke free from long-term porn habits, repaired emotional connection, and finally felt proud of who they were becoming

If you’ve tried porn blockers, accountability groups, or even therapy—but still feel like something deeper is keeping you stuck—this episode will help you identify the real reason for your porn struggles and finally give you a clear path forward.

This is for men who are serious about:

How to quit watching porn

How to stop masturbating to porn

How to recover after cheating or lying about porn use

How to rebuild trust after porn addiction in marriage

How to stop watching porn without white-knuckling

How to heal shame after pornography use

How to fix your relationship after betrayal

What to do when your wife doesn’t feel safe after porn

How to build emotional safety in marriage

And most of all—how to become the man you want to be

This episode offers a proven path to breaking free from porn, getting unstuck, and healing your relationship—from the inside out.

Jaksot(210)

What Happens if a Wife Becomes ’Addicted’ to the Trauma of Betrayal, and How You Can Move Forward - Part 2 with Jolene Wynn

What Happens if a Wife Becomes ’Addicted’ to the Trauma of Betrayal, and How You Can Move Forward - Part 2 with Jolene Wynn

After there’s been betrayal due to a pornography addiction, it can be very difficult to feel secure and safe in the relationship. And a lot of women find themselves feeling stuck and can’t get out of the pain regardless of what her husband does. In this episode, we discuss what a wife needs to do in order to find freedom and work through the betrayal, how a husband can help participate in the healing, and ultimately what needs to happen for trust to be rebuilt. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

29 Elo 202238min

When a Husband Gets Better and His Wife Gets Worst - Part 1 with Jolene Wynn

When a Husband Gets Better and His Wife Gets Worst - Part 1 with Jolene Wynn

When people are trying to overcome the impact that pornography addiction has in their marriage, there are 3 separate (and overlapping) aspects to healing - his healing, hers, and the relationship. Many times, a husband and wife might progress at different speeds along the path of healing, and there are lots of times when a husband gets better and a wife gets worst. In this episode, I invited Jolene Wynn, a coach and a wife who personally went through this process with her husband, to share her experience and strategies to help couples navigate this delicate balance.

25 Elo 202237min

Strategies for Healing When Even His Presence Triggers Her

Strategies for Healing When Even His Presence Triggers Her

When a woman feels betrayal after discovering her husband's pornography addiction, EVERYTHING can feel like a trigger, even him. He reminds her of his actions and the pain he's caused, yet he can also be a source of comfort at the same time. The push/pull of wanting him close for comfort, but also feeling such intense anger and disgust at the same time can be overwhelming and confusing. In this episode, I discuss tools to approach this situation and how a couple can move forward through those moments and ultimately make it so he doesn't trigger her anymore and for there to be a feeling of closure and resolution instead. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

16 Elo 202225min

When A Wife’s Best Efforts Aren’t Good Enough

When A Wife’s Best Efforts Aren’t Good Enough

So many women struggle feeling like what they are doing isn't enough.. If she was more sexual, thinner, didn't criticize, easy-going, etc., then he wouldn't act out. In this episode, I share what can be doing to address this dynamic, and what needs to happen for there to be lasting changes to the addiction. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

22 Heinä 202222min

When Pornography Addiction Escalates to Sex Addiction and How to Overcome It

When Pornography Addiction Escalates to Sex Addiction and How to Overcome It

When a man struggles with pornography addiction, sometimes the behaviors escalate into physical acting out. When a man struggles with sex addiction, there is a very specific reason why, and in this episode we talk about sex addiction, the root cause of it, and how to overcome it. It's important to recognize that the core of the addiction ISN'T because of a lack of sex or affection from their partner, and in this episode we'll help you identify what it is so you properly address it and overcome it. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

2 Heinä 202228min

How to Consistently Not Give In to Temptation for Pornography

How to Consistently Not Give In to Temptation for Pornography

If someone offered you a cigarette, but you are a nonsmoker, how do you feel and respond? It's easy, right? It's a quick, "no thank you, I don't smoke," and there's no pull, no effort, no resistance to the offer.. So how do we get the same kind of response when there's a trigger or temptation to look at pornography? In this episode, I share how I helped a client through the process of him feeling that way, and you can use this same approach to help you break free from pornography addiction.

9 Kesä 202226min

The Key to Creating Security in Your Marriage After Pornography Addiction

The Key to Creating Security in Your Marriage After Pornography Addiction

After the impact of pornography addiction, he creates a lot of insecurity, lack of trust and hopelessness. So many couples feel stuck because they don’t have a strong foundation or security in their relationship that helps them move forward and leaving the past behind.  Creating security and stability is one of the most important steps In the process of healing because if you don’t have a solid foundation, then every little disconnect is amplified because it stacks up on top of everything else that feels unresolved.  In this episode, I share with you the key to creating security and safety in your marriage so you can have a foundation that provides stability for you to navigate day to day much more successfully.  For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

23 Touko 202221min

Fastest Method to Resolving Any Argument Before It Escalates

Fastest Method to Resolving Any Argument Before It Escalates

After pornography addiction has damaged a relationship, arguments and fights can escalate very quickly. 
 The reason is because there is so much intensity and hurt under the surface that it doesn’t take much to trigger everything.  When couples don’t know exactly how to resolve issues from the past so there is closure and the chance to move on, arguments happen more frequently. In this episode I share the fastest way to slow down the storm of a fight, focus on the core reason why it’s happening and communicate with each other in way that creates resolution instead of sweeping things under the rug. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? 
Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.

10 Touko 202218min

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