34) Understanding Matrescence: The Physical and Emotional Shift of Motherhood with Ilena Standring

Why does becoming a mother feel like a total overhaul of your soul? It’s called Matrescence. In this episode of Dam Parenting, we are joined by doula and advocate Ilena Standring to explore this profound developmental transition. Coined in 1973, Matrescence describes the hormonal, physical, and psychological transformation that rivals adolescence in its intensity.

Ilena takes a warm, honest, and direct look at the "becoming" of a mother, offering a roadmap for the joys and identity crises that follow. For international parents in the Netherlands, navigating this shift without traditional family support can feel isolating—but you aren't alone. We discuss shifting relationship dynamics, the evolving sense of self, and how to move through this chapter with resilience. This episode also features Ilena’s powerful reflection questions to help you process your own inner transformation. Whether you are expecting or years into the journey, join us as we name the experience and reclaim our power.

You can find out more on Ilena on her instagram:

Ilena_j_standring

Be sure to share this within your community, mothers to be and mothers alike - we are all in this together. Being a parent is hard enough, doing it in another country without the support from our family and close friends is a tough journey many of us are trying to figure out. Let's do it together.

Ilena's reflection questions:

[ ] In the 12-24 months before I became pregnant, I was preoccupied with...

[ ] If I reflect back to my pregnancy, these are the ideas, the ideals and the topics, that I was preoccupied with

[ ] As I look back now, on those 12-24 months before pregnancy, and that period in pregnancy, I wish I had spent more time exploring...

[ ] As I glance back into my Matrescence journey thus far, these are the things that spring to mind as the most surprisingly fulfilling aspects of my inner and outer transformation.

[ ] These are the realisations about the way I was parented and how Matrescence was modelled to me as I have been on the journey through Matrescence

[ ] As I look forward to the next 12 months of my identity expansion, beyond the every day parenting, I would like to explore these aspects of my identity and of my experience of Matrescence