Deliberate Life™28 Elo 2025

69. Agreeableness

We explore agreeableness, the third of the Big Five personality traits we've discussed, following our previous episodes on openness and extraversion/introversion. Agreeableness represents the tendency to prioritise others' needs over one's own—highly agreeable people are sympathetic, cooperative, and accommodating, whilst those lower in agreeableness are more competitive, self-interested, and direct. We share personal examples of how high agreeableness manifests: difficulty knowing what you want for dinner, crying when others cry, and the challenge of maintaining boundaries with less agreeable individuals. We discuss how highly agreeable people can be taken advantage of and the importance of developing what we call "toughness muscles" to push back when necessary. We examine agreeableness in leadership contexts, particularly the challenge of holding people accountable and managing healthy conflict when you naturally want to be liked and avoid discomfort. Through client examples, we explore how highly agreeable leaders can struggle to hold space for productive friction and may soften their messages too much. However, we also recognise that agreeableness can be a leadership strength—creating psychological safety, building trust, and delivering feedback from a place of genuine care. We conclude by encouraging listeners to reflect on when their agreeableness serves them well versus when it limits their effectiveness, and to consider what "courageous kindness" might look like in their current situation.

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Jaksot(79)

79. Elements

We open with a story told by David Foster Wallace: two young fish swimming along, greeted by an older fish who remarks on the quality of the water. One young fish turns to the other and asks — what is...

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78. Forgiveness

We open by clearing up one of the most common misunderstandings about forgiveness: that to forgive means to condone. It doesn't. Using the image of a thorn lodged in the body, we explore forgiveness a...

28 Touko 32min

77. Conscientiousness

We complete our journey through the Big Five personality traits with the fifth and final one: conscientiousness. We explore what it actually means—beyond the obvious associations with being organised ...

23 Huhti 27min

76. Heart

We open with a quote that sets the tone: the longest journey is from the head to the heart. We explore what it truly means to live from the heart—not as a sentimental idea, but as a fuller way of acce...

26 Maalis 25min

75. Space

We open with a quote that sets the tone perfectly: if the mind is not overcrowded, not ceaselessly occupied, there is space—and from that space, everything else comes. We explore space as a multi-laye...

28 Helmi 19min

74. Grief

We explore grief through the immediate and raw experience of losing a parent, beginning with the story of receiving news of a mother's death whilst scuba diving in a remote part of the Philippines. We...

30 Tammi 33min

73. Deliberate Life

We share reflections from Bali, where we've spent two weeks recording our long-awaited Deliberate Life programme—a project eight years in the making. We discuss the unique energy of Ubud, Bali's spiri...

24 Joulu 202528min

72. Neuroticism

We explore neuroticism, the fourth of the Big Five personality traits we've discussed, following our previous episodes on openness, extraversion, and agreeableness. Neuroticism represents sensitivity ...

27 Marras 202527min