Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

Bert Calls His Dead Grandma | 2 Bears, 1 Cave

SPONSORS: - Head to https://acorns.com/BEARS or download the Acorns app to get started. - Upgrade your wardrobe and save on @trueclassic at https://trueclassic.com/BEARS! #trueclassicpod - Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at https://shopify.com/bears. - Order a bottle of Por Osos and some killer merch online https://drinkporosos.com Hey look, it's your favorite podcast hosts, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer! This week in the cave Bert kicks things off with a brand-new joke he swears is the best thing he’s ever written, before diving into an emotional (and hilarious) story about his late bull mastiff, and the wild twist involving the family dog's long-lost sister. From there, the Bears riff on straight cat dads, Bert’s “sleep divorce,” VR porn addictions, childhood prank calls, and even the lost art of memorizing phone numbers. Bert even calls his dead grandma and chit chats with scam caller live on air. The episode only gets wilder as Tom and Bert review real OnlyFans submissions from fans, debate who should be the first official “2 Bears OF star,” and spiral into some truly insane pitches that only these two maniacs could come up with. Plus: speech impediments, Elmer Fudd racism, trolling stories, gambling breakdowns from NFL Week 1, and Bert trying to recruit Zac Efron into a shirtless golf fantasy with their new NIL athlete. This might just be the best episode of this show in a long ass time, don’t miss it. 2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 306 https://tomsegura.com/tour https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour https://store.ymhstudios.com Chapters 00:00:00 - Intro 00:01:41 - Dogs & Cats 00:08:59 - VR Corn 00:17:30 - Memorizing Geography 00:23:24 - Memorizing Phone Numbers 00:31:35 - Prank Calls 00:37:59 - We Got Some OF Prospects 00:49:50 - Speech Impediments 00:53:45 - NFL Week 1 Gambling 00:59:51 - Bert Wants To Adopt Athletes Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Jaksot(316)

Ep. 123 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 123 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

This week on 2 Bears, 1 Cave, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer discuss what they think Bert's daughter's college experience will be like due to Bert's "party guy" persona, their tastes in fashion and art, and Bert's process of perfecting his stand-up routine. Bert shares a joke he wrote about Joe Rogan and Neil Young, and The Bears discuss their nicknames and brainstorm which rappers have the best nicknames. They wrap up by looking at videos of paragliding and ziplining accidents. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Maalis 20221h 24min

Ep. 122 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 122 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

This week on 2 Bears 1 Cave, Bert Kreischer opens with what it's like visiting Austin, and how much he loves playing games with Tom Segura's kids. Also, Tom's kids give Bert a new nick name: Fat Sticks. The bears talk about standup comedy all over the world, they try to figure out the perfect outfit for Bert's next special, and we go down the female golfer rabbit hole. We check out other cool hobbies women can get into, watch some cool debt/stuck related "videos," and check out what kind of videos the rest of America is into.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

28 Helmi 20221h 20min

Ep. 121 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 121 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer out of the new Austin set and we get into hypotheticals about hooking up with relatives! We get an update on the weight loss challenge with Nadav, talk about Ben Askren and the Jake Paul fight, and Bert tries to figure out his price for getting knocked out by a professional fighter. How much should Bert get to be in a boxing ring with Israel "Stylebender" Adesanya? The bears discuss the recent passing of Louis Anderson, Bob Saget, and Norm McDonald. Tom shares a story about him and Ryan Sickler smoking out Norm and seeing him go on stage right after. Bert then shares a story of a Paralympian swimmer Chloe Toscano who recently removed her arm and the bears gauge the room on some playful choking in the bedroom. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

21 Helmi 20221h 23min

Ep. 120 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & David Spade

Ep. 120 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & David Spade

It's another week of 2 Bears 1 Cave, and we have guest bear David Spade joining Tom Segura! Spade has all sorts of questions as he just started an SNL themed podcast co-hosted by Dana Carvey called "Fly On The Wall." David tells Tom about getting on Saturday Night Live with Rob Schneider and what it was like to be a writer/performer on the cast back then. They talk about Tommy Boy, Chris Farley, Kevin Nealon, Gap Girls, and a horror story involving Eddie Murphy. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

14 Helmi 20221h 13min

Ep. 119 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 119 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer are finally recording out of the new set and Bert almost immediately ruins it. Bert fantasizes which celebrities he'd date, the bears discuss the Buffalo Bill's insane game and the incredible 2 Bears cleats that Gabe Davis wore during a game. The bears try doing some inspirational social media posts, we get an update on #TheMachine movie, Bert shares his Covid episode and a screen grab from his nest cam after he had sex. The bears talk hot sauces, Nadav's weight loss, and how Bert pronounces Whataburger wrong. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

7 Helmi 20221h 26min

Ep. 118 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 118 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

It's another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer and Bert thinks he's finally going to move to Austin! Will Enny and Nadav move in with him? Then, the bears decide to completely change and rebuild Nadav. Is he up for the challenge? Tom shares how he got into doing standup comedy and Bert reveals he doesn't listen when people answer his questions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

31 Tammi 20221h 15min

Ep. 117 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Ari Shaffir

Ep. 117 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Ari Shaffir

It's another week of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and with special guest bear, Ari Shaffir! We analyze some of Carrot Top's wild Instagram posts and ask Ari how he got banned from social media. They talk about how important change is to your life and some fans who are surprised when comedians don't care about their feelings. Ari tells us about his time at J school, Tom shows Ari a heavy clip from YMH Live and an OG clip known as "Man VS Jar." Ari tells Tom about traveling to the Dominican Republic, Tom updates Ari on Bert's health, and they discuss how crazy weed from overseas is. Then they finish on a lighter note and react to a WILD cartel video. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can be accessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537) (IL/IN/MI/NJ/PA/WV/WY), 1-800-NEXT STEP (AZ), 1-800-522-4700 (CO/NH), 888-789-7777/visit ccpg.org/chat (CT), 1-800-BETS OFF (IA), 877-8-HOPENY/text HOPENY (467369) (NY), call/text TN REDLINE 1-800-889-9789 (TN), or 1-888-532-3500 (VA). 21+ (18+ NH/WY). Available in AZ/CO/CT/IL/IN/IA/MI/NH/NJ/NY/PA/TN/VA/WV/WY only. Min $5 deposit. Min. $5 wager. Winnings paid out in the form of seven (7) $40 free bets. New customers only. Eligibility restrictions apply. See draftkings.com/sportsbook for full terms and conditions. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

24 Tammi 20221h 26min

Ep. 116 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Ep. 116 | 2 Bears 1 Cave w/ Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

It's another episode of 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, and Bert is having a rough time recovering from the previous episode. Bert went into a deprivation tank loaded and had a day of polar plunges and packed saunas and marvels at his incredible genes. With that, they talk about ayahuasca which cause Bert to have a panic attack mid-thought. The bears discuss sleep, touring styles, disc golfers, and E-sports gamers. The bears get into their personal body counts, how fat their faces get, and Bert's love of hot dogs and food. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

17 Tammi 20221h 20min

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