Session 4: Why Does Leaving Feel Better Than Staying?

Session 4: Why Does Leaving Feel Better Than Staying?

What happens when the fear of being hurt makes leaving feel safer than staying? This week, we dive deep into Brian and Bethany's journey as Brian shares a distressing dream and a painful childhood memory that reveal the roots of his mistrust and his instinct to detach when he feels trapped.

We explore how Brian's nervous system drives him to make empty threats to leave, leaving Bethany hurt and confused, while underneath, his fear of abandonment and betrayal runs deep. This session highlights how these reactive moments aren't attempts to hurt each other, but survival strategies masking vulnerabilities that need healing.

This episode is a powerful reminder that the fears and wounds beneath conflict don't create new problems—they expose the ones already there. The central challenge becomes clear: can Brian and Bethany learn to turn toward each other's fear, instead of letting it drive them apart?

This week's prompt: Reflect on a time when fear made you want to pull away from your partner. What was the deeper need or vulnerability underneath that fear?

Send your responses to this prompt or any questions or comments about the podcast via email or voice note to support@thesecurerelationship.com. Your submission might be featured on a future episode.

Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

Jaksot(64)

S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale)

S3 | Session 18: Slowing Down the TEMPO to Co-Regulation (Season Finale)

Today is our season three finale . It has been an absolute privilege watching Rachel and Mike untangle their negative cycles, and they open today's session with the ultimate proof that the work is pay...

30 Kesä 1h 16min

S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos

S3 | Session 17: Fear of the Goodness: Navigating Peace After Relationship Chaos

The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop is universal. When your nervous system is deeply accustomed to chaos, peace can actually feel scary and alarming because it brings up fears of losing ...

23 Kesä 1h 27min

S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective

S3 | Session 16: Too Sensitive? Healing the Belief That You Are Defective

Have you ever tried to set a boundary or express that you were uncomfortable only to be told that you're just being too sensitive or a stick in the mud? You know, when you hear that enough times, you ...

16 Kesä 51min

S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum

S3 | Session 15: Two People Overboard: The Co-Regulation Conundrum

We can do all the heavy lifting in therapy, but sometimes life just throws too much at us at once. Between the holidays, chaotic work schedules, and general exhaustion, Rachel and Mike recently hit a ...

9 Kesä 46min

S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage

S3 | Session 14: The Burden of the Poker Face: How Hiding Stress Hurts Your Marriage

Mike recently received some great news about a major work project, but instead of celebrating, he admits to Rachel that he is quietly carrying a massive amount of pressure behind his "professional pok...

26 Touko 1h 25min

S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority

S3 | Session 13: Always Second Place: Fighting to Be Your Partner's Priority

Today, we see what happens when Mike's loyalty to his family leaves Rachel feeling like she is "last on the list". When Rachel feels unprotected, she tries to handle her pain with logic, presenting ev...

19 Touko 1h 15min

S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow"

S3 | Session 12: Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Cost of "Going With the Flow"

Doing real emotional work is physically exhausting. When Mike logs on for this session, the very first thing he shares is that he feels completely "taxed and jumbled". He is asking his brain to operat...

12 Touko 1h 6min

S3 | Session 11: You Can't Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain

S3 | Session 11: You Can't Problem Solve Your Way Out of Pain

When your partner is hurting, what is your immediate instinct? For most of us, it's to grab a toolbox. We want to solve the problem, clear up the misunderstanding, or offer the perfectly logical expla...

5 Touko 1h 6min

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