The Science Behind Your Need to Please

The Science Behind Your Need to Please

If you've ever been called a "people pleaser" or found yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own, what you're experiencing may actually be a trauma response called fawning. In the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back, clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains this often overlooked alternative to fight-flight-freeze, an effort to appease threats by trying to make oneself more appealing. Whether in relationships, work, or family dynamics, understanding this pattern can help you reclaim your voice and authentic self. 📱 Follow The Next Big Idea Daily on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen 📩 Want more bite-sized insights from the best new nonfiction delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for our Book of the Day newsletter

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"Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication" by Vanessa Van Edwards

"Cues: Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication" by Vanessa Van Edwards

Charisma. Some people have it, some people don’t. Or so we’ve been led to believe. But speaker, researcher, and bestselling author Vanessa Van Edwards says that to be charismatic, you just have to har...

29 Tammi 202413min

"Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World" by Scott Shigeoka

"Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World" by Scott Shigeoka

Curiosity may not seem like a skill, but it is. You can cultivate it. Scott Shigeoka will teach you how. • Attend our event on Jan. 31 • Subscribe to our newsletter • Download our app • Join our club...

26 Tammi 202415min

"How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion" by David McRaney

"How Minds Change: The Surprising Science of Belief, Opinion, and Persuasion" by David McRaney

What does it take to open someone's mind? We asked David McRaney for his science-backed tips.

25 Tammi 202411min

"The Perennials: The Megatrends Creating a Postgenerational Society" by Mauro Guillén

"The Perennials: The Megatrends Creating a Postgenerational Society" by Mauro Guillén

Increasing longevity and the explosion of technology are reshaping the world. What will it mean for your education, career, and life? Wharton professor Mauro Guillén has the answers.

24 Tammi 202412min

"Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Navigating Loss" by Gina Moffa

"Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go: A Modern Guide to Navigating Loss" by Gina Moffa

"The art of losing isn't hard to master," Elizabeth Bishop wrote in her poem "One Art." Psychotherapist Gina Moffa agrees. In her new book, "Moving On Doesn't Mean Letting Go," Gina offers an easy-to-...

23 Tammi 202417min

"All In: How Great Leaders Build Unstoppable Teams" by Mike Michalowicz

"All In: How Great Leaders Build Unstoppable Teams" by Mike Michalowicz

With the rise of hybrid work, intergeneration offices, and flexible schedules, it has never been harder to build a successful team. Leaders are bending over backward, searching for solutions that work...

22 Tammi 202413min

"The Good Life Method: Reasoning Through the Big Questions of Happiness, Faith, and Meaning" by Meghan Sullivan & Paul Blaschko

"The Good Life Method: Reasoning Through the Big Questions of Happiness, Faith, and Meaning" by Meghan Sullivan & Paul Blaschko

To close out the week, let's hear from two philosophers about what it means to be happy, good, and to live with purpose.

19 Tammi 202412min

"Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings" by Steven G. Rogelberg

"Glad We Met: The Art and Science of 1:1 Meetings" by Steven G. Rogelberg

Every day, in offices around the world, there are an estimated 200 million one-on-one meetings. In "Glad We Met," Steven Rogelberg asks: are all those 1:1s run as effectively as possible?

18 Tammi 202414min

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