The Science Behind Your Need to Please

The Science Behind Your Need to Please

If you've ever been called a "people pleaser" or found yourself constantly putting others' needs before your own, what you're experiencing may actually be a trauma response called fawning. In the new book Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves--and How to Find Our Way Back, clinical psychologist Dr. Ingrid Clayton explains this often overlooked alternative to fight-flight-freeze, an effort to appease threats by trying to make oneself more appealing. Whether in relationships, work, or family dynamics, understanding this pattern can help you reclaim your voice and authentic self. 📱 Follow The Next Big Idea Daily on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen 📩 Want more bite-sized insights from the best new nonfiction delivered straight to your inbox? Sign up for our Book of the Day newsletter

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"Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will" by Robert Sapolsky

"Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will" by Robert Sapolsky

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"Beyond Longevity: A Proven Plan for Healing Faster, Feeling Better, and Thriving at Any Age" by Jason Prall

"Beyond Longevity: A Proven Plan for Healing Faster, Feeling Better, and Thriving at Any Age" by Jason Prall

We don't just want to live for a long time — we want to thrive as we age. Today, science writer and documentarian Jason Prall tells us how we can.

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"Gray Areas: How the Way We Work Perpetuates Racism and What We Can Do to Fix It" by Adia Harvey Wingfield

"Gray Areas: How the Way We Work Perpetuates Racism and What We Can Do to Fix It" by Adia Harvey Wingfield

It's Martin Luther King Jr. Day, which has us thinking about the state of our nation — specifically, the state of diversity in our nation. It's a complicated subject, to be sure, so to help us think t...

15 Tammi 202415min

"I Didn't Do the Thing Today: Letting Go of Productivity Guilt" by Madeleine Dore

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12 Tammi 202412min

"On the Brink of Utopia: Reinventing Innovation to Solve the World's Largest Problems" by Thomas Ramge & Rafael Laguna de la Vera

"On the Brink of Utopia: Reinventing Innovation to Solve the World's Largest Problems" by Thomas Ramge & Rafael Laguna de la Vera

How innovative are our times really? Not very, according to Thomas Ramge and Rafael Laguna de la Vera. And they've got a point. Technology may have solved some fake problems ("one-click buying!"), but...

11 Tammi 202414min

"Ours Was the Shining Future: The Story of the American Dream" by David Leonhardt

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You may know David Leonhardt from his wildly popular New York Times newsletter, "The Morning." What you may not know is that David is also a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist who has spent years tryin...

10 Tammi 20249min

"Project UnLonely: Healing Our Crisis of Disconnection" by Jeremy Nobel

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Today, Dr. Jeremy Nobel unpacks our personal and national experiences of loneliness to discover its roots and to show how we can take steps to find comfort and connection.

9 Tammi 202414min

"Head & Heart: The Art of Modern Leadership" by Kirstin Ferguson

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Do you have what it takes to be a great leader? Find out by listening to Kirstin Ferguson, who joins us to share five indispensable leadership tips from her new book, "Head & Heart," which Adam Grant ...

8 Tammi 202416min

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