Ep. 6 - Building a new relationship with yourself
Your relationship with yourself is EVERYTHING. It’s the number one relationship you’ll have in your life. It’s vital to build that relationship with yourself for two reasons. 1) to rebuild your confidence with yourself 2) learn to love spending time alone. If you’re anything like me, this was a new concept. I had built my life around someone else. I wasn't even aware that I didn't have true awareness around who I was, what I liked and what I disliked. I had no true sense of identity. I had to learn how to build that relationship with myself from scratch without the other person. In this episode: Why it’s important to build a relationship with yourself The 6 components to building that relationship Examples on how to tangibly do that in your day to day life
4 Marras 201912min
Ep. 5 - When the distractions stop working
If you’re anything like me during a breakup, you’ve jammed your schedule full of things to do to avoid being alone and feeling your loneliness. I would try to distract myself until I had to sleep so that I wouldn’t have to sit with my own thoughts by myself. But what happens when the distractions stop working? Or we can’t use a distraction? We must sit with our thoughts and learn how to handle our negative and painful emotions. Our life is 50% positive and 50% negative. Learning how to experience the 50% negative without avoiding, resisting and reacting to it is vital to your human experience on this earth. We must learn how to FEEL an emotion, to process it in a way that doesn’t keep recreating our past and therefor eliminates the need to distract ourselves. In this episode: The 50/50 experience and how it plays out in a breakup What you might be distracting yourself with now and don’t even realize What to do when you stop distracting yourself The step by step to FEEL an emotion
20 Loka 201913min
Ep. 4 - When your ex starts to see someone new
The day is here! I’m sharing my breakup story with all of you which includes a third person. Learn what I was making the new girl mean about me and how in reality our ex dating someone new has EVERYTHING to do with them and nothing to do with us. Our brain’s default is to 1) compare and despair or 2) make it mean something about us or 3) both. How is this playing out in your life and what can we do about it? Finding compassion for the human he is, experiencing the 50% negative and 50% positive was my way of doing this and what I teach my clients. Learn more about this process in today’s episode! In this episode: What it really means when he/she is with someone else What we make it mean The compare and despair affect How to find compassion in the moment to feel better
20 Loka 201915min
Ep. 3 - How to stop stalking my ex's social media
Social media has forever changed heartbreak. It’s this added layer of complexity. We continue to look at his feed even when we know it’s not gonna make us feel better after the fact. Why? We tend to scroll the social for two reasons 1) to avoid feeling negative emotion 2) we actually get a hit of dopamine when we look at his/her feed. It’s like an urge you get when you’ve given up sugar and flour for an extended period of time. There are two methods I teach my clients to ensure scrolling his/her feed is left to a minimum. In this episode: Why do we want to stalk his/her social media What happens when we do How to not stalk his social media
20 Loka 201911min
Ep. 2 - How to stop thinking about my ex
I get it. It’s so damn annoying. Your brain is CONSUMED with him/her. It’s all you can think about… I would have paid big money to just mechanically erase him from my brain. I haven’t found that solution but I found something else that works! Our brain has 60k-80k thoughts in a day, and the brain is an efficient organ. So when it can run on default it wants to and it will. So when someone used to be in our life every day, it’s easy for the brain to focus on that person not being in our life. We must learn to manage our brain, to purposefully decide and rewire it to focus on the thoughts that serve us, that propel us forward in our future, instead of keeping us stuck in the past. However, the #1 mistake I see people doing when attempting this is trying to paste a positive sticky note over a negative event or situation, that will not create lasting change. Learn how to find neutrality in your situation to then refocus your brain on what you can control, which is YOU. In this episode: Why your brain can’t stop thinking about him/her How to find neutrality in your breakup to manager your mind to feel better Letting go of beliefs you no longer tolerate Find evidence to support a new story about your breakup
20 Loka 201912min
Ep. 1 - Why you’re not over your ex yet
When I went through my earth-shattering breakup after a 7 year relationship I googled “how to get over my ex” for a full year. I did everything I could to figure out how to forgive and move on. Everyone kept telling me it was just going to “take time”. After a year of waiting for the time to heal my heart I was over it. That’s when I found out, time had nothing to do with it. It had everything to do with what I was making my breakup mean about me that was holding me back. I was angry and resentful which was making me show up angry and resentful in all facets of life which only created more anger and resentment. The way we think creates the way we feel and the way we feel creates the way we show up in the world. When I learned that what I was making the breakup mean about me was optional, everything changed and my anger and resentment melted away in a minute. You too can have the same transformation, AWARENESS to the root cause of the problem is your first step to getting over him and moving on. In this episode: Why you’re not over your ex yet Why time has nothing to do with it The first step you can take to getting over him/her Identifying as the person who’s already over their ex
20 Loka 201911min
