On Attachment30 Syys 2025

#208: Anxious Attachment & the Fear of Infidelity

Fear of infidelity can be one of the most overwhelming and destabilising experiences for someone with anxious attachment. Even when there’s no evidence a partner is being unfaithful, the possibility alone can trigger deep anxiety, hypervigilance, and constant worry.

In this episode, we explore why anxiously attached people often fear cheating so much, even in the absence of proof. We’ll look at the core wounds and nervous system patterns that fuel this fear, the role of past relationship and childhood experiences, and how certain dynamics—especially with avoidant partners—can make these fears even more intense.

We’ll also unpack the ways fear of cheating can show up in a relationship, the problems with trying to “prevent” it through control or monitoring, and practical steps to move towards a more secure, trusting dynamic.

If this is something you’ve struggled with, this conversation will help you understand what’s happening beneath the surface and give you tools to respond in a way that’s calmer, clearer, and more grounded.

You’ll learn:

The connection between anxious attachment and fear of infidelity
How past betrayal or early life experiences can amplify the fear
Why anxious-avoidant relationships can trigger cheating anxiety
How hypervigilance and reassurance-seeking can harm trust
Tools for building self-trust and relationship security

Highlighted Links

Additional Resources

Download the FREE Anxious Attachment Starter Kit here
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#247: Is It Your Anxious Attachment... or the Wrong Relationship?

In today’s episode, we’re unpacking one of the most common (and confusing) questions for people with anxious attachment: is it me, or is there something genuinely not right in this relationship?When y...

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#246: When Is It a Good Idea to Be Friends with an Ex? (Ask Steph)

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#245: Should Anxiously Attached People Just Avoid Avoidants?

In today’s episode, I’m unpacking why I don’t give the common advice for anxiously attached people to simply avoid avoidant partners.While it might seem like a straightforward way to protect yourself ...

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#244: I Healed My Anxious Attachment… So Why Don’t I Want a Relationship Anymore? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I’m responding to a question I hear more often than you might expect. Someone has done a lot of work on their anxious attachment patterns, they feel more grounded and secure...

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#243: How to Create Healthy, Balanced Relationships with Nedra Glover Tawwab

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#242: When Does Self-Improvement Become Self-Sabotage? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I respond to a listener question about the fine line between personal growth and the endless pursuit of self-improvement.While healing, reflection, and growth are powerful t...

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#241: How to Date from Self-Worth

Modern dating can be tough. Between apps, ghosting, and the uncertainty that often comes with meeting strangers outside our social circles, the whole process can be seriously activating — and all the ...

17 Maalis 17min