S14 Ep. 8: I Don't Want Him to Leave His Wife, Why Has He Stopped Initiating, and Can He Watch 'A Little Bit' of Porn if He Was Addicted?

In this episode, Tracey and Kelsey discuss these three anonymous questions:

1) I’ve been single for a few years and was desperate for sex, so started an affair with a friend of a friend. I knew he was married, and it’s not my style to sleep with married men, but we all got drunk at a party and it happened. The sex was incredible, so we did it again. We’ve been meeting for sex about once a fortnight for a year now. To me, that’s all it is—sex. So imagine my surprise when he told me he wants to leave his wife for me. I have no interest at all in a relationship with him. He’s said he’s hinted to her that there might be someone else and told the mutual friend who introduced us what’s been going on. I’m going to come out of this looking very bad. How do I manage it?

2) I’ve been with my husband for 13 years and our sex is pretty good. We both used to take turns initiating sex, which is about once a week. Lately, he’s stopped initiating and leaves it up to me. He’s very happy to have sex when I do, but I don’t like it. I gently asked why he’s stopped taking the lead, and he said he hadn’t noticed any change so I just let it drop, but it’s bothering me.

3) I’m 31 and my boyfriend of two years is 25. We’re both really open about sex and he admitted early on to being addicted to porn and masturbation. He hasn’t done either—watched porn or masturbated—for over a year now. He’s in such a healthy place that I asked him if he wanted to start again. He was adamant that he doesn’t, for fear of becoming addicted again. Is that likely? I’m at a loss of what to do because I don’t want him to feel unloved or restricted.

To have Tracey and Kelsey discuss YOUR secret sex question, enter it anonymously at https://bit.ly/3C4AelU

Want a copy of Tracey’s book, Great Sex Starts at 50? Enter code GREATSEX on ChronicleBooks.com for 30% off!

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