The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast14 Tammi 2020

Episode 55: Not Your F*cking Job

A few weeks ago, I posted in my Facebook group that I was going to write a flip book called, Not Your Fucking Job. And it was going to be a very simple book about all the things that are not your fucking job to do for your spouse or partner. You know, things like:

Helping him heal his childhood wounds?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.

Teaching him how to be a good parent?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.

Proving your worth or proving your love to him?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.

Or keeping him from cheating on you?
NOT YOUR FUCKING JOB.

You get the idea.

Well, in this week's episode I am going to go through about 8-10 scenarios of things that are not your fucking job and explain why you need to stop carrying allll of the weight in your relationship.

After you listen to this episode; if you realize you are doing these things, understand you are doing them out of some need to control. So what IS your job: to uncover why you're doing these things and then work to fix it, for you — not for him or for anyone else, for you. Only in this way will you have a chance at healing your marriage, or having an amicable divorce.

Here are just a few of the topics I touch on in this episode:

Why it's not your job to heal your partner's childhood wounds
Allowing your partner to make mistakes and clean up his (or her) own messes
A reminder that it is not your job to beg him to love you or treat you well
Why it's not your job to lose weight, gain weight, dye your hair or get a boob job in order to feel as though you are enough for someone. Only do these things if you WANT to, for you!
What IS your job in your relationship

DO YOU LOVE THIS PODCAST EPISODE? DO YOU WANT THIS MESSAGE TATTOOED ON YOUR FOREHEAD, OR PLAYED IN YOUR SLEEP? YOU'RE NOT ALONE!

That's why I partnered with Chocolate and Steel to create a gorgeous "Not Your Fucking Job" bracelet for you to wear as a constant reminder!

Buy yours here!!

Fed Up, Gemma Hartley
Co-Dependent No More, Meldoy Beattie

DSG Episode: NOW...he wants to go to therapy?

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Today we're having a conversation that so many of us need to have but don't want to have, and that's end-of-life planning in the middle of a divorce. Divorce already comes with so many choices, and mo...

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Episode 384: End Emotional Outsourcing with Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP

There was a stretch of my life where I could not be alone. Not because I loved being social so much, but because without someone else in the room, I did not know who I was. No plans for the night mean...

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Episode 382: The Rise of Misogyny: What Midlife Women Need to Know with Laurie James

Laurie James, somatic practitioner, coach, and author of Sandwiched, returns to talk about the rise of misogyny and what it means for women inside their relationships, their families, and the broader ...

20 Elo 49min