The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast26 Touko 2020

Episode 73: Our Happy Divorce with Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo

Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, Ben Heldfond and Nikki DeBartolo still share a happy life with their son Asher and their spouses and children.

As we continue Parenting Month on The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast, Ben and Nikki join me to discuss their happy divorce story. Yes, happy. There is no villain in their story. As you'll hear in this episode, they came to a spot in their divorce where they took accountability for their actions and worked together to create a new life for their separated family.

If you're thinking, "This could never happen to me," I'd like to offer a word of caution: please don't compare where you're at in the divorce process with Ben and Nikki's journey. Instead, use their story as inspiration. We hope that you end up in a place where you see a happy divorce as something you can work to achieve.

Show Highlights

The red flags that came up on their wedding day, about getting married. (12:20)
The story of their divorce, how it went from what looked like an ugly divorce to one of agreement and solace. (14:52)
Divorce doesn't screw up kids. It's how we do our divorces. (20:39)
We all take responsibility; we both have to take responsibility for our parts. (30:18)
Ben and Nikki' s negative experience going to divorce class. (36:06)
Advice for those getting divorced who may not be in the same place as Ben and Nikki, what you can do if you are on one side of divorce and not being met on that side by your partner. (53:50)
New relationships after divorce, Ben and Nikki got their new significant others on board with your unique link. (57:40)

Learn More About Ben and Nikki:
From weeknight dinners and homework sessions to Christmas card photos and vacations, Nikki and Ben have created a tight-knit, enviable family. They work and play well together, from the smallest daily tasks to the biggest life events—and it only took a divorce to get them there. Though their marriage has been over for nearly a decade, they still share a happy life with each other and their son Asher, along with their spouses and children.

Resources & Links:

Our Happy Divorce Website
Our Happy Divorce on Facebook
Our Happy Divorce on Instagram
Our Happy Divorce on Twitter
My Band was Featured on The Voice - Watch!
Eagle Rock Isolation Band

The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

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Episode 388: It's Not About the Alcohol: Emotional Sobriety and Divorce with Colleen Freeland

Today we're talking about drinking, emotional sobriety, and what both have to do with navigating divorce. I've shared my own sobriety journey on the show before, including how heavily I relied on alco...

15 Loka 43min

Episode 387: Kate On: The Cornell Case, Male Violence, and the Limits of Empathy

Content warning: This episode covers the Cornell 7 case and includes discussion of sexual assault, drugging, and how survivors are failed by the systems meant to protect them. "The conversation we sh...

8 Loka 37min

Episode 386: The Divorce Paperwork You Can't Afford to Forget with Marni Blank

Today we're having a conversation that so many of us need to have but don't want to have, and that's end-of-life planning in the middle of a divorce. Divorce already comes with so many choices, and mo...

1 Loka 37min

Episode 385: Kate On: Why You Miss Him After You Leave

"Why am I suddenly missing the person I worked so hard to leave?" A woman wrote to me recently with this question, and I know this is not an uncommon thing to feel. Many women know without a doubt the...

24 Syys 38min

Episode 384: End Emotional Outsourcing with Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP

There was a stretch of my life where I could not be alone. Not because I loved being social so much, but because without someone else in the room, I did not know who I was. No plans for the night mean...

17 Syys 49min

Encore Episode: When You Give Up the Authentic Fight

This week's episode is an encore episode. I'm away at my Unbreakable Retreat, so I'm revisiting one that felt right to bring back. I asked a friend who is going through a divorce what I should talk ab...

10 Syys 23min

Episode 383: Medical Decision-Making in High-Conflict Co-Parenting with Dr. Madeleine Gagnon

After divorce, medical decisions don't stop. Kids still need vaccines, dental appointments, medications, evaluations, therapy, all of it. In high-conflict or parallel parenting, even basic healthcare ...

2 Syys 51min

[Encore Episode] Your Divorce Roadmap: The Stages and Phases of Divorce

Encore Episode!! After over a decade of working with thousands of women, I've become really good at mapping out the entire divorce process and pinpointing where on that map someone might land. I've be...

27 Elo 35min