The Divorce Survival Guide Podcast14 Tammi 2021

Episode 101: Rebuilding Community After Divorce with Daniel Herrold

Divorce comes with many harsh realizations. Once the dust starts to settle, lost friendships or friendships that no longer feel supportive can be the most painful realizations. What the hell happened to your friends? And how do you make new ones? My guest, Daniel Herrold, is the Co-Creator of DivorcedOver40, an online community that provides resources and real-life testimonials to divorcees over 40 years of age.

There are several aspects to Daniel's story that are poignant, like his deep respect and commitment to his ex-wife (the woman who stayed home for many years raising their children), as well as the story of how he created a new community with people he'd never known before.

It is my hope that by sharing stories such as Daniel's, you'll see what is possible after divorce. Sure, it may not always be rainbows and unicorns. But rebuilding a community is possible and can come pretty darn close to magical too.

Show Highlights

Why it's important to surround yourself with people who are going through a divorce, who understand it, or who have been through it. (7:31)
What happened to your friends? Some of the realities of friendship, including lost friendships, post-divorce. (8:12)
Why should you focus on self-care, healing, and establishing that friendship group to help the healing process, instead of dating or thinking about your next partnership. (12:21)
Daniel's story of recognizing the opportunity cost of his ex-wife being a stay at home mom and what that meant for them post-divorce. (19:58)
How to put resentment and emotional baggage aside and show up with integrity. (26:30)
Why Daniel created DivorcedOver40, building a community of nonjudgemental peers. And why it is not a matchmaking site. (36:21)

Learn More About Daniel:

Daniel is the Co-Creator of DivorcedOver40, an online community that provides resources and real-life testimonials to divorcees over 40 years of age. Daniel is a resident of Tulsa, OK and has been divorced for nearly two years now and has three daughters.

Resources & Links:
DivorcedOver40
DivorcedOver40 on Instagram
DivorcedOver40 on Facebook
Smart Dating Academy on YouTube
The Ultimate Divorce Survival Guide
Should I Stay or Should I Go Facebook Group

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Episode 388: It's Not About the Alcohol: Emotional Sobriety and Divorce with Colleen Freeland

Today we're talking about drinking, emotional sobriety, and what both have to do with navigating divorce. I've shared my own sobriety journey on the show before, including how heavily I relied on alco...

15 Loka 43min

Episode 387: Kate On: The Cornell Case, Male Violence, and the Limits of Empathy

Content warning: This episode covers the Cornell 7 case and includes discussion of sexual assault, drugging, and how survivors are failed by the systems meant to protect them. "The conversation we sh...

8 Loka 37min

Episode 386: The Divorce Paperwork You Can't Afford to Forget with Marni Blank

Today we're having a conversation that so many of us need to have but don't want to have, and that's end-of-life planning in the middle of a divorce. Divorce already comes with so many choices, and mo...

1 Loka 37min

Episode 385: Kate On: Why You Miss Him After You Leave

"Why am I suddenly missing the person I worked so hard to leave?" A woman wrote to me recently with this question, and I know this is not an uncommon thing to feel. Many women know without a doubt the...

24 Syys 38min

Episode 384: End Emotional Outsourcing with Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP

There was a stretch of my life where I could not be alone. Not because I loved being social so much, but because without someone else in the room, I did not know who I was. No plans for the night mean...

17 Syys 49min

Encore Episode: When You Give Up the Authentic Fight

This week's episode is an encore episode. I'm away at my Unbreakable Retreat, so I'm revisiting one that felt right to bring back. I asked a friend who is going through a divorce what I should talk ab...

10 Syys 23min

Episode 383: Medical Decision-Making in High-Conflict Co-Parenting with Dr. Madeleine Gagnon

After divorce, medical decisions don't stop. Kids still need vaccines, dental appointments, medications, evaluations, therapy, all of it. In high-conflict or parallel parenting, even basic healthcare ...

2 Syys 51min

[Encore Episode] Your Divorce Roadmap: The Stages and Phases of Divorce

Encore Episode!! After over a decade of working with thousands of women, I've become really good at mapping out the entire divorce process and pinpointing where on that map someone might land. I've be...

27 Elo 35min