Episode 167: This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matthew Fray

Episode 167: This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matthew Fray

Matthew Fray, author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships, has been on my guest wishlist for a really long time. That is why I am truly delighted to share our conversation with you. Matt joins me to talk about how men can show up as better partners in relationships.

I first learned about Matt when I read his now-viral blog post, "She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes Near the Sink." It's not just about dishes. It never truly is, now is it? Matt shares his experiences with writing that blog post, the lessons he has learned since his divorce, and offers insight on how men can become mindfully aware of their spouses' experiences, share in the division of labor in relationships, and more.

Show Highlights

  • How his blog post aims to invite a conversation about what is allowed to matter (5:55)
  • In relationships, there is a discrepancy between values, preferences, and things that affect one another (6:44)
  • Marriage and the man card in cis-hetero gendered relationships (9:14)
  • Matthew describes the invalidation triple threat: aka the ways in which we invalidate people when we disagree with them (17:14)
  • Be mindful of the little things we are not paying attention to because they are often the root of relationship issues (23:41)
  • We explore four key relationship skills including how to argue or disagree effectively (38:19)

Learn more about Matthew Fray:

Matthew Fray is the author of This Is How Your Marriage Ends A Hopeful Approach To Saving Relationships. With the humorous, entertaining, and counterintuitive approach of "The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F," and the practical insights of "The 5 Love Languages," "This Is How Your Marriage Ends" helps readers identify relationship-killing behavior patterns in their own lives - and offers solutions to break free from the cycles of dysfunction and destruction. Fray is a relationship coach and writer who leans on the lessons of his failed marriage and divorce to help others avoid making the same mistakes he did. His writing has been featured in The New York Times, The Sunday Times, The Huffington Post, Babble, and many more. His blog Must Be This Tall To Ride has a dedicated following and has reached millions of readers.

Resources & Links:

Book a Sanity Saver Session in May or June
Matthew's website
Matthew's new book
Matthew on Twitter
Matthew on Facebook
She Divorced Me Because I Left the Dishes by the Sink

TODAY'S EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY:
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Episode 383: Medical Decision-Making in High-Conflict Co-Parenting with Dr. Madeleine Gagnon

Episode 383: Medical Decision-Making in High-Conflict Co-Parenting with Dr. Madeleine Gagnon

After divorce, medical decisions don't stop. Kids still need vaccines, dental appointments, medications, evaluations, therapy, all of it. In high-conflict or parallel parenting, even basic healthcare ...

2 Syys 51min

[Encore Episode] Your Divorce Roadmap: The Stages and Phases of Divorce

[Encore Episode] Your Divorce Roadmap: The Stages and Phases of Divorce

Encore Episode!! After over a decade of working with thousands of women, I've become really good at mapping out the entire divorce process and pinpointing where on that map someone might land. I've be...

27 Elo 35min

Episode 382: The Rise of Misogyny: What Midlife Women Need to Know with Laurie James

Episode 382: The Rise of Misogyny: What Midlife Women Need to Know with Laurie James

Laurie James, somatic practitioner, coach, and author of Sandwiched, returns to talk about the rise of misogyny and what it means for women inside their relationships, their families, and the broader ...

20 Elo 49min

Episode 381: Kate On: The Peace Self-Care Can't Give You

Episode 381: Kate On: The Peace Self-Care Can't Give You

What if self-care never quite fixed things because it was never designed to? There's a particular kind of exhaustion that comes from trying to create peace inside a relationship that keeps taking it a...

13 Elo 31min

Episode 380: When Supporting Your Trans Child Changes Your Marriage with Elle Baade

Episode 380: When Supporting Your Trans Child Changes Your Marriage with Elle Baade

They say art imitates life, and this episode is a perfect example. My guest—and new bestie—is Elle Baade, author of the novel Consequences of Normal. The book follows Jane, a mother fighting to find h...

6 Elo 42min

Episode 379: Kate On: What Boundaries Actually Are and How to Set Them So They Stick

Episode 379: Kate On: What Boundaries Actually Are and How to Set Them So They Stick

If setting boundaries were easy, we wouldn't need podcasts, books, or frameworks to teach us how to make and hold them. Boundaries are hard. But they're also essential to keeping sanity, strength, and...

30 Heinä 40min

Episode 378: Legal Separation vs Divorce with Nicole Sodoma

Episode 378: Legal Separation vs Divorce with Nicole Sodoma

Separation is one of those words that confuses, intrigues, and scares a lot of people. In fact, one of the first questions that comes up for many considering divorce is, "Should we legally separate fi...

23 Heinä 41min

Episode 377: Kate On: Unraveling Divorce Guilt

Episode 377: Kate On: Unraveling Divorce Guilt

Guilt. So many women feel it intensely when they're contemplating divorce, or when they've already made the decision to leave. In this episode, I'm talking about the guilt of breaking your marriage vo...

16 Heinä 27min

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