Episode 217: Understanding Double Abuse® with Annette Oltmans

Annette Oltmans, the founder of The M3ND Project, returns to the show to discuss Double Abuse®. Together, we explore what Double Abuse® is and how it can exacerbate the trauma a victim is already experiencing from their abuser.

Double Abuse® happens when seeking help becomes a harmful encounter, where instead of supporting you, a person belittles your experience or disregards what you are telling them about your abuser. When you are in the middle of trauma, you need someone who will say, "I've got you," understands what you are going through, and can help advocate for you.

We created this episode because it is important to: understand what Double Abuse® is, know what to do if you think it's happening to you, and learn how others can be safe people for you.

Featured topics include:

• Understanding covert emotional abuse and its destruction (4:15)

• Double Abuse®: what it is and how it exacerbates a victim's trauma (15:48)

• Why it's important for victims to recognize when Double Abuse® is happening to them so they can gently exit the conversation and find a new circle of support (24:24)

• Some examples of Double Abuse® in the media (34:29)

• How to support and show up for a victim using the healing model of compassion (37:36)

• You cannot take care of yourself if you are being traumatized by Double Abuse® (52:08)

Learn more about Annette Oltmans:

Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette's personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University's Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities."

Resources & Links:

Information and resources may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-217-understanding-double-abuse-with-annette-oltmans/

Private Coaching with Kate

The M3nd Project Website
Tools and Resources from The M3ND Project
The M3ND Project on Facebook
The M3ND Project on Instagram
The M3nd Project on YouTube
The M3nd Project on Twitter
Abuser. Narcissist. Sociopath. with Annette Oltmans
Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

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