147. "I can't get over my ex — are they holding me back, or did they raise the bar?"

147. "I can't get over my ex — are they holding me back, or did they raise the bar?"

Are you loving the listener Q&A episodes? If so, today is your lucky day; we have another one for you! This week, Lily unpacks the idea of "my ex raised the bar," the stories we make up about dating standards, and how to reclaim your agency. The listener's question went something like this:

"I am dating with intention right now. I was dating someone six months ago, and he broke my heart. He also raised the bar, but I feel like it's tripping me up. Is holding on to him or wondering about him hurting my chances? If he raised the bar, is that a good thing?"

This episode reminds you that you deserve a relationship with someone who fiercely chooses you. Plus, Lily explores how and why to reclaim agency over "the bar," recognize that you own it, and can continue to raise it (yourself) based on your needs, wants, and desires.

Hot-takes and how-tos:

  • Reclaim your agency over the bar - it was and is yours - you own the bar, and you can continue to raise it

  • You get to be in a relationship with someone who fiercely chooses you!

  • People who are not right for you make themselves apparent to you quickly. Those who are right for you also make themselves apparent quickly.

Links:
Join us for the Create a Joyful-As-Fuck Dating Life Workshop on 3/28!
Join the Brazen Breakthrough
3-Step Guide to Make Dating Feel Like Self-care
Date Brazen on Instagram
Date Brazen on TikTok
124.The "Thank You, More, Please!" Challenge!
135. How to create your essence-based preferences
146. "I'm 37 and haven't been on a date. Am I too late?"

Show notes:
http://datebrazen.com/blog/did-my-ex-raise-the-bar



Tämä jakso on lisätty Podme-palveluun avoimen RSS-syötteen kautta eikä se ole Podmen omaa tuotantoa. Siksi jakso saattaa sisältää mainontaa.

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286. Stop Freezing Around Cute People

286. Stop Freezing Around Cute People

If you want to date IRL and find your person, but you see someone cute and your body locks up, this episode is for you. Freezing is a somatic response. It is your nervous system protecting you from f...

13 Loka 19min

285. How to date men when you hate men

285. How to date men when you hate men

How do you date men when you hate men? It can be a tough question, especially if you've never seen that what you want and who you want exists. Both/and in this episode, I'm your feminist dating coac...

6 Loka 10min

284. Make dating apps optional: A roadmap to attract the right relationship IRL

284. Make dating apps optional: A roadmap to attract the right relationship IRL

You don't have to be on dating apps to be "trying" in your dating life. This episode gives you the alternative strategy that has worked for hundreds of my clients (and worked for me to meet my husband...

29 Syys 24min

283. My story: from people pleasing and settling in dating, to attracting more as the main character (and how you can, too)

283. My story: from people pleasing and settling in dating, to attracting more as the main character (and how you can, too)

In episode 283, I'm getting personal about how people pleasing made me settle in dating, friendship, and work, how it led to panic attacks on my lunch break, and the three-step formula I used to quit,...

22 Syys 31min

282. "It's scary to want things." How to stop people pleasing and attract what you actually want, with my client Jackie

282. "It's scary to want things." How to stop people pleasing and attract what you actually want, with my client Jackie

Jackie was burnt out to a crisp. She was in a job she felt trapped in, because the story was that she had to be of service no matter how she felt. She had taken a sabbatical that was supposed to be tw...

15 Syys 54min

281. When is the right time to have sex? (and why you keep asking everyone but yourself)

281. When is the right time to have sex? (and why you keep asking everyone but yourself)

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So when you're stressed about the question "when is the right time to have sex??" and outsource your answer to another dating expert or another ...

8 Syys 26min

280. The Sneaky Ways You're People Pleasing (and How to Stop)

280. The Sneaky Ways You're People Pleasing (and How to Stop)

The good, reliable, everyone-comes-to-me best friend. You've been praised for that role your whole life. What if it's the reason you can't get yourself to shoot your shot, ask for more, or take up spa...

1 Syys 26min

279. Decide You're the One: How to Get Over the Fear That You're Not Enough

279. Decide You're the One: How to Get Over the Fear That You're Not Enough

You've been waiting to feel ready. Ready enough to launch the thing, shoot your shot, ask for the promotion you've been researching and figuring out the pitch for for months. Here's the hot take: you'...

25 Elo 30min

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