103: Slip vs Relapse and Should He Tell His Wife?
Is there a difference between a slip and a relapse, and at what point should he tell his wife? In this episode I detail not only the differences between a slip and a relapse but exactly how you can find Freedom from both by resolving the trigger itself. The traditional way of overcoming pornography is based in helping men prepare for battle. However, much like Pavlov's dog, our brains create powerful links between triggers and reactions. It's like a reflex we can't control, leading us down the path we wish to avoid. The other method that I've seen be significantly more effective empowers you to break the association between triggers and the internal reactions they cause, freeing you from the grip of addiction. As I work with me, when a trigger arises, I guide them through a process that helps you separate the trigger from the response. So, when that trigger appears, it no longer compels you to act out. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
28 Heinä 202329min
102. How to Achieve Forgiveness Without Pressure and Forcing It
Forgiveness is such an important element in the healing process, yet most people go about it in a way that causes resistance, pressure and frustration. Trying to forgive too early in the process can bring up a lot of pain, so finding tools and a method to help you in this process can be so freeing. In this episode I share the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and the relationship between trust and forgiveness (it's not what you think), and why you might feel stuck on this step of the process. I share practical steps you can take to find forgiveness without any pressure and in a way that feels comfortable for you. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
20 Heinä 202322min
101. How to Eliminate Scorekeeping and Resentment From Your Marriage
In your journey of overcoming pornography addiction and rebuilding trust in your relationship, it's so important to understand the root of the problem in a way that leads to lasting solutions. In this episode, we'll explore five key points that will benefit any man seeking to overcome pornography addiction and a couple to repair their relationship. Unraveling Resentment and Score-Keeping: Discover effective strategies to eliminate score-keeping and resentment that often plague relationships affected by pornography addiction. Unresolved issues can resurface and hinder growth, but we'll provide practical ways to break free from this cycle. Shifting Perspectives: Breaking Free from the "Addict" Label: Let go of the limitations that come with labeling yourself or your partner as an addict. We'll explore a more empowering perspective that focuses on growth and acknowledges progress. Discover how this shift can pave the way for positive change. Unveiling Unmet Needs: Explore the connection between unaddressed emotional needs and unresolved hurt within your relationship. By understanding and addressing these underlying issues, you can foster a deeper connection with your partner and prevent recurring problems. Rebuilding Trust and Healing Resentment: Learn from inspiring real-life stories of couples who successfully rebuilt trust and overcame resentment. Discover actionable steps to nurture open communication, vulnerability, and understanding within your relationship. Witness the transformation from hurt to healing. Empowering Change: Tools for Effective Communication: Uncover practical techniques that can transform anger and frustration into open and effective communication. Explore how this key skill can nurture your relationship, creating a foundation of trust and intimacy. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
14 Heinä 202325min
100. Instantly Reduce Relapses With This Simple Tweak
In the process of overcoming pornography addiction, so many men focus on tracking sobriety. However, there is a big problem with using that as the measurement of success – • Unintentionally it creates fear, concern and anxiety about when the next time I slip will occur. • It amplifies discouragement and decreases motivation whenever there is a slip after a long streak occurs • Focusing on avoiding slips doesn't actually mean you're making progress resolving the core issue • It often can contribute to dishonesty because a husband doesn't want to disclose to his wife and start from zero There is a better way to not only more effectively track progress, but do it in a way that increases confidence, contributes to more honesty and openness in the relationship, and creates and mental space of openness and relaxation which actually promotes more growth. Tune into this episode to understand the small tweak you can Implement today that can have an instant result and how you feel and in your progress. The previous episode I referenced in this show about how to properly disclose a slip is episode number 87. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Follow Me on Instagram for daily tips and tools you can implement to overcome pornography addiction: Follow me on Instagram Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
6 Heinä 202323min
99. Get Unlimited Motivation to Overcome Pornography Addiction
When a man struggles with a pornography addiction, both he and his wife often feel concerned that he'll run out of motivation to stay consistent. And it's true, using methods that don't work can leave him feeling discouraged, frustrated and exhausted. In this episode I share with you two specific strategies to give you unlimited motivation to stay consistent, focused and steady when it comes to putting in the effort necessary to become the person you were meant to be. Hearing these strategies can also help a wife feel reassured as he's taking a new approach so that she doesn't feel fear of the other shoe dropping. If you want to go deeper into learning how to stop negative communication cycles in your relationship that I mentioned in this episode, check out episodes 96 and 97. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
29 Kesä 202328min
98. 3 Strategies to Overcome a Man’s Knee-Jerk Dishonesty With His Wife
One of the most damaging things to a relationship is dishonesty. He completely undermines trust, makes a woman second-guess everything her husband says, and at least two arguments and fighting. So often, many men have a knee-jerk reaction of being dishonest despite him knowing that it causes more damage. Instead of pushing harder for honesty and reminding him of how important it is to tell the truth, there is a different way to approach this problem to resolve it on a deeper level. In this episode I share with you three specific strategies you can implement today in order to work through what's causing the dishonesty at the core so you can have a relationship built on a foundation of truth and trust. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
23 Kesä 202325min
97. New Tools for When Communication Breaks Down (Part 2)
In the previous episode I talked about the negative communication cycles that every couple get stuck in. I shared with you the formula to communicate effectively to create understanding and connection between you and your spouse. But what if you run into roadblocks and that communication doesn't work when you try it? This episode is all about how to address the three most common blocks (and tools to fix it) where communication breaks down despite your best efforts. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
15 Kesä 202324min
96. Breaking Negative Communication Cycles and Preventing Arguments (Part 1)
Every couple gets caught in negative communication cycles. When there is anger, defensiveness, shutting down and avoidance, it makes it impossible for a couples to find connection and resolution to the problems they are facing. In this episode I share with you the most common negative cycle and the specific formula detailing how you can escape the pattern to create a file of connection and understanding between you and your spouse. For therapy with Sam: Send an email here to get more information – sam@healingcouples.org Join the free, private men’s Facebook community here for Q&As, live trainings, tools, and support: https://www.facebook.com/groups/toolstoquit Want access to a free course I created for my podcast listeners? Simply go to www.coupleshealing.org and in the course you'll learn some top strategies to find healing from addiction and trauma, rebuild trust, experience freedom, and begin to reconnect with each other in the relationship.
9 Kesä 202329min
