The Upside of Desire | Cara Lai

The Upside of Desire | Cara Lai

In Buddhism/meditation circles, desire or wanting is often considered a no-no. But is this line of thinking sometimes taken too far — or simply misunderstood? Can we turn our desires — for food, sex, etcetera — into areas to apply our meditation practice? Today we're going to explore that notion with Cara Lai. She is a mindfulness teacher, psychotherapist, and artist. She is also a coach on the Ten Percent Happier app. (Side note: shout-out to all the coaches on the app. The fact that we have these highly trained individuals standing by to take your questions is yet another reason to subscribe!) Anyway, back to Cara. I first encountered her when I was on a retreat last year, and she was one of the teachers. She gave a dharma talk that was incredibly funny and shockingly honest. And, as you will hear, she brings that same spirit to this conversation. Where to find Cara Lai online: Website: http://www.caralai.org/ On the Ten Percent Happier app, you can chat directly with living, breathing meditation coaches (including Cara), about your meditation questions. Once you've downloaded the app at tenpercent.com, you can navigate to your profile, then click "Ask A Question" under the coaching section to be connected with one of our experienced coaches. Other Resources Mentioned: Dukkha: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Du%E1%B8%A5kha Additional Resources: Ten Percent Happier Live: https://tenpercent.com/live Coronavirus Sanity Guide: https://www.tenpercent.com/coronavirussanityguide Free App access for Frontline Workers: https://tenpercent.com/care Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/cara-lai-265

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The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O'Connor

The Science of Loss and Recovery | Mary-Frances O'Connor

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Very few of us will live a life without loss. As part of our Mental Health Reboot series in recognition of Mental Health Awareness Month, this week's episodes talk a lot about grieving. Mary-Frances O'Connor, an expert in bereavement research, explores the science of how we grieve and experience loss, whether it's a job or a loved one. Mary-Frances O'Connor is an Associate Professor of Clinical Psychology and Psychiatry at the University of Arizona, where she is also the Director of Clinical Training. And she is the author of a book called The Grieving Brain. In this episode we talk about: The distinction between grief and grieving How her Buddhist practice has influenced her understanding of grief Whether or not we can ever quote/unquote "get over it" Why she argues for "a really big toolkit of coping strategies" How to understand the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross today What grieving looks like in a pandemic What to say to people who are grieving The new diagnosis of prolonged grief disorder Content Warning: Brief mention of suicide. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/mary-frances-oconnor-450

11 Touko 20221h 6min

Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

Jonathan Van Ness on Shame, Shopping, Bodies, and Hope

How do you find hope in a lifetime that has experienced more trauma than most? Guest Jonathan Van Ness says that the key is to stay curious and focus on happiness and joy, even if it's just in a tiny corner. Jonathan Van Ness is a hairstylist by trade and best known as one of the hosts of the Netflix series Queer Eye. He is also the author of Love That Story and the New York Times bestselling memoir Over the Top, and the host of the podcast Getting Curious with Jonathan Van Ness. In this episode we talk about: The universality of processing grief What a "window of tolerance" means Getting curious about shame Body dysmorphia JVN's complex and contradictory feelings about shopping What "parts therapy" or Internal Family Systems therapy is Setting boundaries Connecting and cultivating joy Content Warning: Explicit language and mentions of sexual abuse, substance amuse, body dysmorphia, and references to sex. Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jonathan-van-ness-447

9 Touko 202244min

Loss is Inevitable. Here's How to Handle It | Kathryn Schulz

Loss is Inevitable. Here's How to Handle It | Kathryn Schulz

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- There is an unstoppable flow of gain and loss within our lives. Processing this flow helps us to develop equanimity. In this conversation, Pulitzer Prize-winner and New Yorker staff writer Kathryn Schulz discusses her new book Lost and Found: A Memoir, in which she explores experiencing both a huge loss anda huge gain, and how to live in a world where both happiness and pain commingle. In this episode we talk about: How humans experience grief A gift you can give to the grieving Why she loves the clichés that remind us to enjoy the moment Her broad understanding of the term "loss" Why the key word in 'lost and found' is "and" What she's learned about compromising in relationships Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kathryn-schulz-449

9 Touko 202259min

The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

The Science of Hope | Jacqueline Mattis

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- How does hope work? In this episode from the archives, Rutgers University clinical psychologist Dr. Jacqueline Mattis discusses hope from a scientific perspective and how we can cultivate it. Dr. Mattis, who is also a Dean of faculty at Rutgers, did not start her career wanting to study hope. She started out studying spirituality and religiosity, specifically concentrating her field work and interviews in African-American and Afri-Caribbean urban communities. She wanted to know why people living under high stress conditions so often choose to be good and compassionate. And that research ultimately led her to hope. In this episode we talk about: How her family history influenced her relationship to optimism and faith The difference between spirituality and religiosity The benefits of hope and skills to cultivate it The ways hope can go wrong And the benefits of denial Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/jacqueline-mattis-340-repost

4 Touko 20221h 9min

The Science of Sleep | Dr. Sara Mednick

The Science of Sleep | Dr. Sara Mednick

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- If you're trying to improve your sleep, thinking about doing so right before you get into bed might not be the best approach. Dr. Sara Mednick, is a cognitive neuroscientist at the University of California, Irvine, and the author of the new book The Power of the Downstate. This episode is part of our month-long "Mental Health Reboot" series to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. According to her research, Dr. Mednick says that we need to take a more holistic approach to getting better sleep, and that sleep is just one of the ways that our bodies rest and restore. In this conversation, we talk about: The nuances of napping Dr. Mednick's definition of the "downstate" Whether there are practices that can compensate for poor sleep Why heart rate variability is an important measurement of health Why sex is so helpful for sleep And when to take melatonin to best effect Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/sara-mednick-445

27 Huhti 202252min

How to Sleep Better | Diane Macedo

How to Sleep Better | Diane Macedo

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Sleep may be the apex predator of healthy habits, so why are so many of us getting terrible sleep? Guest Diane Macedo launched a very detailed personal investigation in order to fix her sleeping habits and joins us for the first episode of a month-long "Mental Health Reboot" series we're doing to mark Mental Health Awareness Month. Diane Macedo is the author of the new book The Sleep Fix: Practical, Proven, and Surprising Solutions for Insomnia, Snoring, Shift Work, and More. As an ABC News anchor and correspondent, she appears on Good Morning America, World News Tonight, and Nightline. She's also the daytime anchor for ABC News Live. In this episode we talk about: Key signs that you're not getting enough sleep Do sleeping pills really work When and how to find a sleep specialist How to deal with performance anxiety around sleep The difference between sleep deprivation and insomnia Mindfulness and sleep And the biggest sleep myths Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/diane-macedo-444

25 Huhti 20221h 4min

Get Happier Without Losing Your Edge | Kamala Masters

Get Happier Without Losing Your Edge | Kamala Masters

Can you become happier, more balanced, and practice equanimity without losing your edge? Guest Kamala Masters was one of the teachers at Dan's first ever meditation retreat. In this episode she dives into how to develop equanimity and shares her story of learning how to practice meditation during her everyday life while raising three children on her own. Kamala Masters has been meditating since the 1970s, first with Anagarika Munindra, who was Joseph Goldstein's first teacher, and then with the Burmese master Sayadaw U Pandita with whom she twice temporarily ordained as a Buddhist nun. More recently, she's been training with another Burmese master we've talked about here on the show, Sayadaw U Tejaniya. She is a Guiding Teacher at the Insight Meditation Society, and the co-founder of the Vipassana Metta Foundation, which developed the Maui Dharma Sanctuary. In this conversation we talk about: What is equanimity? The most common misconception about equanimity The near and far enemies of equanimity The power and limitations of setting intentions Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/kamala-masters-442

20 Huhti 202258min

A Thing Most Men Won't Talk About | Aaron Flores

A Thing Most Men Won't Talk About | Aaron Flores

New episodes come out every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for free, with 1-week early access for Wondery+ subscribers. --- Why is it that many men seem unenthusiastic about discussing body image issues? We take a deep dive into this topic with Aaron Flores, a Los Angeles-based registered dietician and nutritionist, and one of the few men very active in the space of intuitive eating. Aaron talks about how capitalism ties our weight to our worthiness, and his notion that "our body is not a project." In this episode we also discuss: What intuitive eating is How men experience body image issues, and why they often don't talk about it The relationship between diet culture and capitalism What "health at every size" means and why it's sometimes controversial Guidelines for parents The role of self-compassion when it comes to food Full Shownotes: https://www.tenpercent.com/podcast-episode/aaron-flores-441

18 Huhti 20221h 1min

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