Are You a Grudge Holder or a Revenge Seeker? Here's How It's Hurting You – And How To Get Over It | James Kimmel, Jr.

Are You a Grudge Holder or a Revenge Seeker? Here's How It's Hurting You – And How To Get Over It | James Kimmel, Jr.

The psychology and neuroscience of revenge.

James Kimmel, Jr. is a lecturer in psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine, an expert on revenge, a lawyer, and the founder and co-director of the Yale Collaborative for Motive Control Studies. He is the creator of The Nonjustice System, the Miracle Court app, and SavingCain.org for recovering from grievances and revenge desires and preventing mass violence. His most recent book is The Science of Revenge: Understanding the World's Deadliest Addiction—and How to Overcome It.



In this episode we talk about:

  • The horrific and violent bullying he endured as a child—which provoked his interest in the subject of revenge
  • The connection between revenge and addiction
  • Our evolutionary programming for revenge
  • Practical strategies for when you feel wronged
  • How to seek justice without revenge
  • An antidote to revenge cravings
  • And much more



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Get ready for another Meditation Party at Omega Institute! This in-person workshop brings together Dan with his friends and meditation teachers, Sebene Selassie, Jeff Warren, and for the first time, Ofosu Jones-Quartey. The event runs October 24th-26th. Sign up and learn more here!



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Adam Grant Says You're Doing Relationships Wrong

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Why it's OK to go to bed angry, be awkward, and not like your coworkers. Plus, the three kinds of friends you need and the one-line script that makes hard feedback land. Adam Grant is an organizationa...

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Stressed, Anxious, or Drained at Work? Here's How To Follow Your Energy, Take Smart Risks, and Find Work You Actually Like | Molly Graham

Stressed, Anxious, or Drained at Work? Here's How To Follow Your Energy, Take Smart Risks, and Find Work You Actually Like | Molly Graham

Plus: the only two things you really take with you when you leave a job, why following a great boss beats chasing a hot company, and why she thinks "I've missed the boat" on AI is a lie. Molly Graham ...

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Calm Your Nervous System: Simple Daily Practices for When You're Wired, Hangry, or Too Busy to Rest | Nadia Narain & Katia Narain Phillips

Calm Your Nervous System: Simple Daily Practices for When You're Wired, Hangry, or Too Busy to Rest | Nadia Narain & Katia Narain Phillips

A tongue-in-cheek jaw release, a 30-second shake-off, and a two-finger trick that tells your body it's safe. Plus: why scrolling feels relaxing but isn't. Nadia Narain and Katia Narain Phillips are th...

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Anxious? Rushed? Reaching for Your Phone? Four Buddhist Phrases To Bring You Back | Brother Phap Dung and Kaira Jewel Lingo

Anxious? Rushed? Reaching for Your Phone? Four Buddhist Phrases To Bring You Back | Brother Phap Dung and Kaira Jewel Lingo

Why tensing against pain makes it worse, the difference between acceptance and passivity, and how to plan for the future while staying present—from two of Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh's senior students....

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How To Be Sanely Productive | Oliver Burkeman

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The liberation that comes from realizing that you're never going to get everything done. Oliver Burkeman is the author of the Sunday Times bestselling Four Thousand Weeks, The Antidote, and most rec...

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Surviving the News: Buddhist Strategies for Staying Sane, Engaged, and Not Completely Furious | Pascal Auclair

Surviving the News: Buddhist Strategies for Staying Sane, Engaged, and Not Completely Furious | Pascal Auclair

You don't get to choose what's thrown at you — only how you respond. Karma as a tool for agency, attention sovereignty as a political act, and what to do when you feel completely helpless. The news is...

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Annoying Partners, Aging Parents, Impossible Coworkers: Buddhist Advice for Conflict, Communication, and "Patience with Teeth" | devon and nico hase

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Which conflict style are you? Plus: avoiding the "trance of nice," walking the high wire, and an uber-hack for getting over irritation. devon + nico hase serve as guiding teachers of the online dharma...

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