On Attachment14 Loka 2025

#210: Can You Heal in a Relationship That Constantly Triggers You?

So often, we’re drawn to the work of healing our relational wounds because of challenges in our relationship. A partner’s behaviour, or the dynamic between us, shines a light on our pain points and shows us where our work might be. But this can raise a difficult question: if we’re still being triggered or activated within that very relationship, is healing actually possible?

In this episode, I explore the nuance of this dilemma. We’ll cover:

Why triggers aren’t necessarily a bad thing — and how they can point us toward the deeper wounds that need healing.
The difference between growth edges that stretch us and dynamics that keep us constantly dysregulated.
Signs you can do the work of healing within a relationship, and when the relationship itself may be keeping you stuck.
How to find the middle ground: using relational challenges as invitations into greater self-awareness, without normalising constant pain or struggle.

Relationships will always bring moments of discomfort — that’s the nature of intimacy and vulnerability. But there’s an important distinction between the kind of challenge that supports healing, and the kind that prevents it. This episode will help you reflect on where your relationship sits, and what you need in order to move forward in your healing journey.

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#224: I Drunk Texted My Ex and Feel So Much Shame — Help! (Ask Steph)

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#223: What It Really Takes to Make an Anxious–Avoidant Relationship Work

Anxious–avoidant relationships are often described as doomed — intense, painful, and inherently incompatible. While these dynamics can certainly be challenging, they’re not automatically destined to f...

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#222: Can a Fearful Avoidant Change After Cheating? (Ask Steph)

In this Ask Steph episode, I’m answering a listener question about infidelity and whether a fearful-avoidant partner can genuinely change.Rather than asking whether change is possible in theory, this ...

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#221: How to Let Go of Someone You Love (For Anxious Attachers)

Letting go of someone you love can feel like the hardest thing you’ll ever do — especially if you have anxious attachment patterns. When your nervous system equates connection with safety, walking awa...

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#220: 3 Hard Truths About Changing Your Life

As the year comes to a close, this episode offers a grounded reflection on what actually creates change — beyond resolutions or waiting to feel ready.This is an invitation to reflect on agency, integr...

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#219: How a Fear of Rejection Keeps Us From What We Want Most

In this episode, we explore why rejection feels so big — not just in dating and relationships, but across friendships, family, work, and creative life. We look at the evolutionary and attachment roots...

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#218: Why You're Attracted to Unavailable People

In this episode, we explore the deeper patterns that make emotionally unavailable partners feel so familiar — even when you want something different.Rather than framing this as a personal flaw or some...

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#217: The Missing Piece in Your Healing Journey

In this episode, we explore what it really takes to create meaningful change — especially in those seasons where everything feels hard, familiar patterns keep looping, and no amount of “trying” seems ...

3 Joulu 202517min