How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#229 - How to Have An Amicable Divorce

#229 - How to Have An Amicable Divorce

Divorce is nobody's first choice. But sometimes relationships cannot be saved, and divorcing feels like the right thing to do. While divorce is always hard, having an amicable divorce is the best possible outcome — particularly if you're going to be coparenting or sharing a business for years to come. My guest on today's episode is divorce attorney Stephanie Randall. She shares her honest advice about what getting divorced is *really* like, the biggest mistakes divorcing couples make, insight into the divorce recovery process, and drops real-world strategies for how to create an amicable divorce. If you're considering divorce (or in the thick of one) today's episode is a must listen. Be prepared to take notes! (Or get a the show-notes with Stephanie's top takeaways here: https://www.growingself.com/amicable-divorce) xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Tammi 202158min

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

#228 - Grow Together, or Grow Apart

The past year has been a uniquely stressful time for couples, but it has also been offering a slew of "micro-moments" that can make or break a relationship. Smart couples are using these opportunities to grow stronger, closer and more connected. Other couples are missing them, and their relationships are failing as a result. Today I'm putting on my marriage counselor hat and sharing the most important things you can do to strengthen your relationship (and what to avoid at all costs) so that you can grow together instead of grow apart. Learn how to use challenges to actually strengthen your relationship. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

11 Tammi 20211h 18min

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

#227 - Radical Self Acceptance

How about this idea for a #NewYearsGoal? Learn how to practice radical self acceptance, and love yourself, for who and what you already are. Learning how to be okay with not being okay, have compassion for yourself and others, and grow in your authenticity may sound like the antithesis of personal development, but the opposite is true:  The practice of radical acceptance can (paradoxically) lead to transformational change on every level.  Learn how to lean in, in this episode.  And happy new year! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

4 Tammi 202149min

#226 - Learn and Grow

#226 - Learn and Grow

On the cusp of a new year it can be easy to over-focus on constant-and-never-ending self-improvement, new goals, the next step, and all the things you have yet to achieve. But the truth is that you have already grown so much, learned so much, and done so much. Sometimes it can be more empowering to slow down and respect the enormous amount of work you already have done rather than pushing yourself. Amazing things happen when you learn to appreciate the strength, accomplishments, courage, growth, and wisdom you already possess. I'm walking you through how to tap into all that you are, on this episode. You're already incredible! xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: I've created an activity for you to journal through the questions I'm asking on today's show if you'd like. Access it here: https://www.growingself.com/learn-and-grow

29 Joulu 202036min

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

#225 - The Greatest Gift Is You

In this season of gift giving, it can be easy to forget what our loved ones really want and need from us: Our unconditional love, trust, kindness, appreciation, attention, time, understanding, empathy, respect, emotional safety, and cherishing. That's what we all want! However, we cannot provide those things for anyone without first prioritizing our own wellness and personal growth. Today's episode is all about helping you cultivate the highest and best in yourself so that you can better appreciate how much you matter, and fully embrace the amazing gift of your growth. With love,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

21 Joulu 202047min

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

#224 - Honest Advice From an Online Dating Coach

If you're currently single you've probably experienced first hand the new online dating reality: Dating in the pandemic age is more complex than ever. However, there are fantastic opportunities to create healthy new relationships — if you know the pitfalls to avoid. On this episode of the podcast, get expert online dating coach advice from dating coach Markie K. She shares her top "dating advice do's and don'ts" to help you navigate the new modern dating landscape with clarity and confidence. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: Get even MORE of Markie's great dating advice on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

14 Joulu 202032min

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

#223 - What Men Secretly Want? Emotional Intimacy.

Men crave emotional connection too. But our culture can lead boys and men towards toxic masculinity that impedes emotional intelligence, and damages emotional health (not to mention relationships!) My guest today is Andrew Reiner, frequent contributor to the New York Times and the author of Better Boys, Better Men: The New Masculinity That Creates Greater Courage and Emotional Resiliency. He's generously sharing the strategies his research has uncovered for how to cultivate emotional health and connected relationships with men. If you are a man (or love one!) "What Men Secretly Want" is a must listen. Join us! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

7 Joulu 20201h 3min

#222 - Discernment Counseling

#222 - Discernment Counseling

I've had many "my relationship is on the brink, what do I do?" questions from listeners lately. When one person is half out the door, standard-issue relationship advice and conventional marriage counseling approaches can make things worse. But Discernment Counseling — a special, obscure type of couples counseling — can still save your relationship. In today's episode we're doing a deep dive into the unique dynamics of failing relationships in order to help you use the principles of discernment counseling to potentially turn things around. Join me!  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More relationship questions? Leave them for me (and help yourself to more free resources) on the blog at GrowingSelf.com.

30 Marras 20201h

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