How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

How to Feel More Secure in Your Relationship | LHS Classic E251

If you’ve ever questioned where you stand with your partner or second-guessed their love, this will help you feel more grounded, connected, and secure. This episode first aired on June 21, 2021 (Episode 251), and I’m bringing it back because so many of you said it hit home. Ever replayed a conversation, overread a text, or felt on edge when your partner seemed distracted even when nothing was “wrong”? That kind of relationship anxiety can keep you chasing reassurance. I’m joined by my colleague Georgi, a marriage and family therapist on our Growing Self team, to talk about why security can feel slippery and what it takes to build emotional safety that lasts. We look at how attachment injuries, big and small, quietly shape how you show up in love. Early experiences, broken trust, and even subtle disappointments can make connection feel risky and drive patterns like jealousy, anger, or withdrawal. Together, we talk about interrupting those cycles, hearing what your anxiety is trying to say, and inviting your partner into repair with curiosity rather than blame. Episode Breakdown: 00:00 Introduction: Why It’s Hard to Feel Secure in Your Relationship 07:05 How Attachment Shapes Emotional Safety and Trust 10:40 When Insecurity Shows Up as Anger or Jealousy 18:50 What Fuels Insecurity: Attachment Injuries and Unmet Needs 26:25 Inviting Your Partner In and Re-building Connection 30:35 Responding With Empathy Instead of Defensiveness 35:40 The House Analogy: Re-building Trust Brick by Brick 37:15 Emotional Safety as the Core of a Healthy Relationship As you listen, notice what shows up for you. When anxiety spikes, what story starts running—and how do you usually respond? Do you shut down, reach for control, or start hunting for proof that you’re okay? Try pausing to ask what you truly need in that moment: comfort, reassurance, or a steadier sense of safety within yourself. If communication is adding to the tension, try my Communication that Connects Masterclass. It’s a simple way to step out of those conflict loops and have conversations that build understanding. It includes a workbook so you can practice right away! You might also like my How Healthy Is Your Relationship? quiz. It’s quick, gives you language for what’s happening, and points to where your relationship could use more care. Want ongoing support between episodes? Find me on Instagram, Facebook, or YouTube. I share fresh tools and encouragement to help you create the love, happiness, and success you deserve. If this episode sparked something, or an idea for a future topic, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s talk! xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie BobbyGrowing Self

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#221 - Dysfunctional Family Roles

#221 - Dysfunctional Family Roles

Were you the perfect child? The clown? The scapegoat? If you weren't who your family needed you to be, did other people fall apart? Without self-awareness and intentional correction, dysfunctional family roles from your family of origin can sabotage your adult relationships. In this podcast episode I'm sharing strategies to help you learn how to overcome the legacy of a dysfunctional family, stop the cycle, and develop healthy relationships today. Join me! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby More about Dysfunctional Family Roles on GrowingSelf.com...

23 Marras 20201h 4min

#220 - How to Deal With Covid Anxiety: Re-Release

#220 - How to Deal With Covid Anxiety: Re-Release

If you have anxiety about coronavirus, you’re not alone. Many people have been experiencing Covid anxiety, and understandably so. The virus is spreading, things are being canceled, schools and businesses are closing, and these are uncertain times.  There's lots in the news about how to protect your physical health, but not so much info about how to protect your mental health from coronavirus-related anxiety.  Help is here: On this episode I’m sharing practical strategies for how to manage Corona anxiety using helpful cognitive-behavioral strategies so that you can stay in a good place mentally and emotionally during this challenging time.  Wishing you love, happiness, success and health, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: In addition to the anxiety management strategies I shared on this episode I mentioned a couple of resources that you might use in addition to online therapy for anxiety. These include: The book, “Feeling Good” by Dr. David Burns The book, “10 Best Ever Anxiety Management Techniques” by Dr. Margaret Wehrenberg The online Happiness Class: The online CBT therapy course that teaches you cognitive skills for managing anxiety as well as mindfulness strategies and emotional regulation skills. Mindfulness training apps, and also the mindfulness / stress management videos I have available for you on my IGTV channel @drlisamariebobby

23 Marras 202041min

#219 - Thinking of you today!

#219 - Thinking of you today!

Dr. Lisa here, doing a swan dive into your podcast feed a little early today to let you know that if you've been experiencing a resurgence of "covid anxiety" lately, you're not alone. I'm re-releasing my "How to Cope With Covid Anxiety" podcast episode for you right now, and will be back in touch later today with a new episode.  Wishing you all the best,  Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

23 Marras 20203min

#218 - Long Distance Relationship Questions

#218 - Long Distance Relationship Questions

Long distance relationships have unique challenges, but love from a distance can work beautifully. In today's episode I'm answering your long distance relationship questions around: How to keep your connection strong when you're living apart How to manage feelings of anxiety and insecurity in a long distance relationship The unique stressors (and opportunities) of long distance couples The most important "Us" conversations all long distance couples must have How to cohabitate successfully after living long distance And more!  xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby P.S. If you have questions about your relationship share them in the comments of the "Long Distance Relationship Questions" post so I can answer them. While you're on GrowingSelf.com, be sure check out the other articles and podcasts we have on this topic. It's all for you!

9 Marras 202048min

#217 - How to Have Difficult Conversations

#217 - How to Have Difficult Conversations

Difficult conversations are tough to have, and easy to avoid (or botch). But authentic communication is vital for healthy relationships — especially when it's about something that is really important to you. It's at times like these that productive, compassionate "critical conversations" are so crucial.  Today: Learn real-world strategies for how to have difficult conversations so that you can prevent differences from fracturing your most important relationships. xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

2 Marras 202058min

#216 - Shadow Work

#216 - Shadow Work

Time to embrace your shadow side: The part of yourself that is authentic, real, and needs to have a voice. It's so easy to disown parts of yourself, but until you reclaim them, you'll never be fully congruent or empowered. Shadow work helps you make contact with your whole self, and can lead to transformational growth. Learn how, on the latest episode of the podcast. Happy Halloween! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby PS: If you'd like to do some of the activities I shared in this episode, you can download your free "shadow work exercises" right here.  GrowingSelf.com

26 Loka 202053min

#215 - Have Courage, and Be Kind

#215 - Have Courage, and Be Kind

We can all agree that the world needs more kindness right now. But the practice of meaningful, deep kindness is more challenging than you'd think. It requires empathy, intention, mindfulness and commitment.  Yet the rewards of cultivating a kindness practice are enormous. Kindness mends stressed relationships, boosts self esteem, protects against depression and anxiety, and strengthens supportive friendships. Practicing kindness helps you as much as it helps others. In this episode, my guest Houston Kraft, author of "Deep Kindness," shares how to have courage and be kind, and cultivate a transformational kindness practice that will lift everyone up, including you. Tune in, and unleash the power of kindness in your life! Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby GrowingSelf.com

18 Loka 20201h 5min

#214 - How to End a Toxic Relationship, With Dignity.

#214 - How to End a Toxic Relationship, With Dignity.

If you've been stuck in a relationship with someone who is not treating you well, and who is causing you hurt, anxiety, pain and frustration, now is a wonderful time to consider leaving your toxic relationship behind... and creating a new chapter full of healing, health and happiness for yourself. On this episode I'll be discussing: - Characteristics of toxic relationships - Why toxic relationships are so addictive - Whether toxic relationships can be healed - The impact of toxic relationships - And how to end a toxic relationship, for once and for all. If you've been stuck on the terrible roller coaster of a toxic relationship, this episode is for YOU. All the best, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby www.growingself.com

5 Loka 20201h 33min

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