42: What's Yours to Fix? Navigating Empathy and Boundaries

42: What's Yours to Fix? Navigating Empathy and Boundaries

Just Because I Can Doesn't Mean I Should

Over the past week, I've been connecting with lots of different people — friends, family, clients, leaders. It's truly lovely to share our lives, our successes, our joys, and even our struggles.

Something I noticed, though … when someone I care about is going through a hard time, I often find myself wanting to jump in and fix things. I really don't like to see people struggle, especially those close to me who I care about.

But I've realized that the further removed someone is from our lives, the less their issues actually impact us. And this is normal — our brains are wired for connection, and we're supposed to care when people we love are experiencing challenges.

While I used to feel a strong responsibility to help, this usually led to my own feelings of anxiety and overwhelm. As women, we're usually socialized to be the problem solvers and caregivers. But constantly taking on others' problems can be exhausting!

Not only that, but giving unsolicited advice when trying to "fix things" can feel like criticism to the recipient and lead to resentment on both ends. (I know how I feel on the receiving end of unsolicited advice!)

Here's the thing, though — sometimes, focusing on others' issues can be a distraction from facing our own.

In today's episode, I'm sharing my new practice, even after almost 20 years as a psychologist. This is an important one!

Key Takeaways:

  • It's normal to want to help people we care about, and it's just as important to recognize our own emotional responses to their struggles.

  • Consider who modeled caregiving and problem-solving in your own life.

  • Holding space for others involves managing our own emotions while actively listening and understanding what the other person truly needs.

  • Knowing our capacity and setting boundaries is essential for maintaining healthy relationships and avoiding burnout and overwhelm.

  • Just because you can help, doesn't mean you should. Before you offer support, ask yourself (or the person you want to help) if it's in everyone's best interest.

Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to The Overwhelm Cure

01:28 Understanding Empathy and Responsibility

06:42 The Problem with Unsolicited Advice

10:00 How to Hold Space

15:17 Balancing Personal Boundaries When Helping Others

18:57 Facing Our Own Issues

24:00 The Serenity Prayer and Final Thoughts

27:38 Overwhelm Cure Program Invitation

Invitation: Sign up for The Overwhelm Cure Program

The Overwhelm Cure Program is a six week program, where you'll participate in regular exercises, and we'll come together each week to discuss ways to help you finally overcome feelings of overwhelm.

Link to sign up now - https://www.kimberlyknull.com/overwhelm-cure-program

Connect with me:

Jaksot(123)

18. Say Goodbye to the Sunday Scaries

18. Say Goodbye to the Sunday Scaries

Ever felt the Sunday scaries creeping in, that dread of the looming workweek stealing away the last drops of your weekend joy? You're definitely not alone. In this episode, we're diving into the Sunday scaries, dissecting what causes them, and most importantly, discovering strategies to conquer them. Tune in and say goodbye to those Sunday night blues! CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

11 Syys 202316min

17. Is guilt running your life?

17. Is guilt running your life?

Ever felt like guilt's calling the shots in your life? You're not alone, seriously! I've worked with dozens of women and the guilt trap is something that's come up time and time again. That's why today, I'm diving deep into the difference between guilt and shame, why self-care often feels selfish for us as women, and how we can process guilt so it doesn't kill our motivation to make positive changes. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

4 Syys 202334min

16. Managing Back to School Anxiety: Strategies for a Smooth Transition

16. Managing Back to School Anxiety: Strategies for a Smooth Transition

How are you holding up with the whirlwind of back-to-school changes? If your answer is a resounding "stressed and disheveled", trust me, I get it. Shifting from lazy summer days to alarm clocks and routines can feel like a storm. But I've got you covered with some tried-and-true tricks to help tame that back-to-school anxiety – for both the young ones and us parents! Let's dive into some tips that'll make this transition smoother. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

28 Elo 202319min

15. The Truth About Happiness

15. The Truth About Happiness

You know how society shouts that success = happiness? Well, today I'm spilling the tea on why that's not the whole truth. I'm giving you a behind the scenes recap of my week in the Rocky Mountains with a group of incredible women who were hungry for that next-level life. This in-person masterclass was all about the self-discovery it takes to tap into real fun, joy, and happiness. You won't want to miss this recap because I'm sharing my biggest aha moments and common themes I've seen over the years of working with high-level women. You'll walk away from this episode ready to break down the barriers standing between you and your best life. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

21 Elo 202327min

14. Parenting Mini-Series Pt.2: Will They Turn to Us? Why Trust is Essential in Parenting

14. Parenting Mini-Series Pt.2: Will They Turn to Us? Why Trust is Essential in Parenting

As parents, we know the day will come when our children will face a tricky situation and need to seek our guidance. But the real question is, will they feel safe enough to turn to us? In part two of our series, I'm sharing my best tips for building trust in the smallest moments with our kids and personal examples from my own parenting journey. Let's link arms and pave the way for impactful open conversations that will guide our children's paths for a lifetime. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

7 Elo 202332min

13. Parenting Mini-Series Pt.1: Real Talk from a Therapist Mom

13. Parenting Mini-Series Pt.1: Real Talk from a Therapist Mom

Join me for a two-part parenting series where we'll explore common concerns faced by moms, including the fear of making mistakes. Parenthood can feel heavy and confusing, and guilt often sneaks in. As a mom of teenage girls and a therapist, I'll share practical wisdom on raising well-adjusted kids and embracing imperfection. Let's navigate this beautiful journey together! CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

31 Heinä 202326min

12. When Therapy Tools are Twisted: Ending the Cycle of Using Therapy Against Each Other

12. When Therapy Tools are Twisted: Ending the Cycle of Using Therapy Against Each Other

As a psychologist, I have a confession to make: learning new therapy terms and tools can sometimes backfire. Today's episode is all about the dark side of psychology terms and how they can unexpectedly turn into weapons during conflicts. Don't worry, I won't just throw textbook definitions at you, nope! We're going all-in with a real-life text message example, exposing the misuse of familiar terms like gaslighting and boundaries. If you're tired of conflicts that make your relationship feel shakier, not stronger, you're exactly where you need to be. Grab your headphones and let's dive in. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

24 Heinä 202323min

11. Conflict Resolution 101

11. Conflict Resolution 101

Avoiding conflict can harm your relationships, and I get it, it's tempting to bottle up frustrations for the sake of peace. But here's the deal: bottling things up doesn't do you any favors. Trust me, I've been there. That's why I'm excited to share how I overcame my fear of conflict and how it's made parenting a breeze. And guess what? I've got actionable strategies for you too! We'll explore the art of honest and sometimes uncomfortable conversations, as well as how to confidently face conflicts head-on with kindness. CONNECT WITH KIM: Register for The Gifts of Imperfection™ Workshop, where you'll learn how to embrace your inner flaws and accept who you are → https://www.courageousleadership.ca/booking Follow me on Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/courageousleadershipyeg/.

12 Heinä 202327min

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