74. Rethinks: How Emotion Shapes Our Communication, Decisions, and Experiences

Why good communication requires presence, not performance.Effective communication isn't about perfecting your performance. According to Dr. Kate Mason, it's about being powerfully present.Mason is a world champion debater, executive communication coach, and author of the book Powerfully Likeable. In her work coaching senior executives to communicate more effectively, she emphasizes that it’s not about creating a performative persona, it’s about uncovering the authentic communicator you already are. “The coaching is just bringing the real parts of you to the fore,” she says, “uncovering rather than totally building from scratch. A lot of people come to me and say, I need to be more warm or more insert adjective here. And I say, I'm not gonna help you be more warm if that's not what's coming naturally to you. I am gonna help you work out the thing you're already doing, the thing you're already saying, how to make that comfortable for people around you.”In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Mason and host Matt Abrahams discuss strategies for more present communication. From avoiding "imposing syndrome” to reducing “the delta between your real self and that corporate persona,” Mason's insights explore how we can bring more of our true selves to the table.To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.Episode Reference Links:Dr. Kate MasonKate’s Book: Powerfully LikeableEp. 210 First Impression to Lasting Impact: Use Status Strategically Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:32) - Why Confidence Is the Wrong Goal (03:55) - Bridging Your Real and Work Selves (05:27) - What Is Imposing Syndrome? (07:01) - Catching Yourself Shrinking (08:58) - Rethinking Imposter Syndrome (10:15) - Assertive vs. Agreeable (12:40) - Naming Your Communication Style (15:38) - What You Say vs. How You Show Up (17:43) - Body Language That Signals Openness (19:04) - Executive Messaging Lessons (22:01) - The Final Three Questions (26:51) - Conclusion ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. Go to Quince.com/ThinkFast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.

23 Joulu 27min

Celebrate our 250th episode with expert strategies that make tough conversations easier — and more meaningful.Some of the most meaningful shifts in how we communicate come from the moments that challenge us the most. In this special 250th episode of Think Fast Talk Smart, Matt Abrahams reflects on the insights that have shown him how conflict can become a catalyst for clarity, connection, and even compassion. From Amy Gallo’s reminder that the “right kind of conflict” leads to better outcomes to Jenn Wynn’s framework for calming our nervous system before stepping into a hard conversation and Julia Minson’s HEAR method for signaling genuine curiosity, each tool helps turn tension into understanding for every stage of conflict. And with Joseph Grenny’s guidance on noticing when our motives shift from problem-solving to winning, this episode highlights how self-awareness can reset even the toughest moments. Whether you’re navigating workplace disagreements or everyday friction at home, this milestone episode offers practical ways to make difficult dialogue feel less daunting — and a real opportunity to communicate better.Episode Reference Links:Amy GalloAmy’s Book: Getting Along: How to Work With AnyoneEp.144 Communicating Through Conflict: How to Get Along with AnyoneJenn Wynn  Jenn’s Podcast: The H.I. Note: Healing Inspirations from LifeEp.222 Discussing Through Discomfort: Why the Conversations You Avoid Cost You the MostJulia MinsonEp.136 The Art of Disagreeing Without Conflict: Navigating the NuanceJoseph GrennyJoseph’s Book: Crucial ConversationsEp.207 From Conflict to Connection: Having Crucial Conversations that CountMusic from Blue Dot Sessions:Etude 3 Chessanta Etude 1 CherubEtude 12 TaminyOjufemiCloud CannonThe Caspian Sea DoghouseAn Opus in AbFirst Results Cach PKLTenawayConnect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInTimed Links:(1:45) Getting Along: How to Work With Anyone (18:31) Crucial ConversationsChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (03:17) - Why Conflict Is Necessary (04:16) - Transforming Unproductive Conflict (05:04) - Inner Experience of Difficult Conversations (06:00) - Self-Awareness, Pause, Reframe (08:07) - Four Questions For Understanding (11:26) - Acting Curious vs. Feeling Curious (13:42) - The HEAR Framework (18:08) - Humility & Willingness To Be Wrong (19:39) - Practice & Repetition (21:06) - Acknowledging Motives (22:20) - Two Questions to Reset Motives (24:14) - Bringing the Frameworks Together (25:40) - What Really Matters (27:12) - Conclusion ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. Go to Quince.com/ThinkFast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.

16 Joulu 28min

The right rituals—and the right conversations—can transform how your team collaborates.Strong collaboration starts with thoughtful practices and clear communication. As Molly Sands, Head of the Teamwork Lab at Atlassian, emphasizes, the teams that thrive are the ones that regularly pause to align on what matters and how they’re progressing. “You want to know if you’re making progress,” she notes, “and you want ways to redirect early—before you’re scrambling at the end.”Through her research with teams across Atlassian and around the world, Sands has seen how small, consistent habits—monthly goal reviews, transparent updates, shared spaces for spontaneous interaction—build alignment, psychological safety, and momentum. And in hybrid and distributed environments, she highlights how “bursty” collaboration patterns and intentional meeting design help teams move faster without burning out.In this Quick Thinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Sands and host Matt Abrahams break down the rituals that make teamwork work, from OKR check-ins to collaboration hours to the rotating Chief Vibes Officer. No matter where your team sits, Sands shows how intentional communication unlocks connection, speed, and more satisfying ways of working together.Episode Reference Links:Molly SandsEp.241 Team Spirit: How to Make Group Work WorkConnect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:13) - Measuring Collaboration the Right Way (05:05) - Training Leaders & Goal Rituals (07:19) - Creating Space for Spontaneous Work (10:50) - Making In-Person Time Count (11:14) - Three High-Impact Team Gatherings (14:38) - Supporting Diverse Communication Styles (16:46) - Conclusion  ********Thank you to our sponsors.  These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost. Go to Quince.com/ThinkFast for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.

11 Joulu 18min

The secret to effective teamwork and collaboration.To collaborate, we have to communicate. As Molly Sands knows, “The more that we can get on the same page, the more effective we are.”Sands is a behavioral scientist and the head of the Teamwork Lab at Atlassian, where she researches how teams can collaborate more effectively and efficiently, especially in distributed and hybrid work environments. As she’s seen in her research and within her own team, “People can accomplish a lot more together when they work well together.” The key to unlocking that potential lies in communication that aligns people not just in their activity, but in their deeper goals and vision. “The best work happens when you start by asking why,” she says, “getting people to really understand: why is this a problem, why do we wanna solve it, and how are we uniquely positioned to do that? The more that we can map this out together, the more effective our teams tend to be.”In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Sands and host Matt Abrahams discuss strategies for effective collaboration, from “page-led” meetings and asynchronous video messages to using AI as a collaborator. Whether your team is working face-to-face or across time zones, Sands’ insights show how better communication is the key to better collaboration.Episode Reference Links:Molly SandsEp.241 Team Spirit: How to Make Group Work Work On Apple: (21:15) 241. Team Spirit: How to Make Group Work WorkConnect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:21) - How the Teamwork Lab Works (03:52) - Top Challenges for Teams (04:26) - Clarifying Goals & Alignment (07:08) - AI as a Collaborative Partner (09:14) - Atlassian’s AI Onboarding Buddy (12:38) - Rethinking Meetings (15:47) - Three Types of Work Time (17:06) - Replacing Meetings with Asynchronous Video (19:51) - The Final Three Questions (24:09) - Conclusion  ********This episode is sponsored by Grammarly. Let Grammarly take the busywork off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free today Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.

9 Joulu 25min

Two new Think Fast Talk Smart AI tools put communication skills to the test in real time.Technology promises many things, but few experiments illustrate its potential more vividly than a coach in conversation with his own digital counterpart. In this episode, Matt Abrahams introduces two new AI-powered tools from the Think Fast Talk Smart Online Learning Community: Coach Matt and Chat Matt. Trained on years of Matt’s communication teachings and podcast insights, these digital counterparts offer a rare opportunity to watch human expertise meet machine-driven guidance in real time.Coach Matt begins by addressing a familiar tension: the surge of anxiety that surfaces before high-stakes speaking moments. His approach reframes that nervousness as a form of future-focused energy that can be redirected toward curiosity and clarity. He also introduces the “What–So What–Now What” framework, a simple but powerful method for giving feedback that remains constructive, direct, and grounded in shared purpose.Chat Matt then steps into the conversation, tackling the challenge of crafting a compelling proposal in just two minutes. Its responses reveal how AI can quickly synthesize communication principles while also highlighting the evolving space where human nuance and digital precision intersect.By pairing Matt Abrahams with his own digital counterparts, this episode of Think Fast Talk Smarts explores the future of communication learning—one where technology doesn’t replace the coach, but expands the possibilities for insight, clarity, and confident expression.Episode Reference Links:Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:40) - Introducing Coach Matt and Chat Matt (03:41) - Coach Matt: Speaking Anxiety (05:41) - Reframing Nervousness (06:41) - Constructive Feedback Framework (08:00) - Testing Communication Advice (09:34) - Chat Matt: High-Stakes Presenting (13:21) - Strengthening a Two-Minute Proposal (15:57) - Conclusion   ********This episode is sponsored by Grammarly. Let Grammarly take the busywork off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free today

2 Joulu 16min

Why good communication is the key to good communities.Community and communication go hand-in-hand. For Sandy Pentland, the culture and cohesion of any group “has to do with the stories [people] tell each other.”Pentland is a professor at MIT, where he helped create and direct the MIT Media Lab. As a pioneer in computational social science, he’s using data to map social networks and decode communication. In his latest book, Shared Wisdom: Cultural Evolution in the Age of AI, he explores the interplay between human culture, technological development, and societal change — arguing that communication is the tool that enables groups to achieve these advancements and to cohere throughout them. “Stories are the stuff of culture,” he says. “Sharing stories educates the community… defining the worldview and culture of that group.”In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Pentland and host Matt Abrahams explore what our communication patterns reveal about group dynamics and organizational health. From the “honest signals” in our interactions to strategies for strengthening remote work connections, Pentland shares how better communication can fuel more connected communities.Episode Reference Links:Sandy PentlandSandy’s Book: Shared WisdomEp.137 When Words Aren’t Enough: How to Excel at Nonverbal Communication Ep.65 Ties That Bind: Why Remote and Hybrid Teams Need the Right Connection Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:23) - Honest Signals & Human Behavior (04:16) - The Sociometric Badge Research (05:46) - Human Connection in Remote Work (07:03) - Organizations as Networks (09:35) - How Ideas Spread in Groups (12:46) - Bringing the Right People Together (14:14) - Stories as Cultural DNA (16:57) - The Final Three Questions (21:50) - Conclusion   ********This episode is sponsored by Grammarly. Let Grammarly take the busywork off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free today

27 Marras 23min

When you enter a conflict trying to win, Deepak Chopra says you’ve already lost.“We can resolve any conflict,” says Dr. Deepak Chopra. All it takes is what he calls “conscious communication.”Chopra is a physician, a leading authority on integrative wellbeing, and the author of over 97 books. His “conscious communication” approach puts presence at the center of all meaningful interactions — bringing together attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance. When applied to conflicts, his approach turns adversaries into collaborators, leading to what he calls "spiritual solutions" where diverse perspectives and problem-solving lead to better outcomes for all. “We can come up with a creative solution for any adversity,” he says. “All we want is the best outcome for everyone.”In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Chopra and host Matt Abrahams explore how presence transforms our interactions, why intentions enable us to accomplish more with less effort, and helpful questions to guide difficult conversations. Whether navigating conflict in our professional or personal lives, Chopra’s insights show why the best resolutions come when we stop trying to be right and start trying to understand.Episode Reference Links:Deepak ChopraDeepak Chopra AIEp.138 Speak Your Truth: Why Authenticity Leads to Better Communication Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:33) - The Power of Presence (04:19) - Reframing Conflict (10:29) - The Role of Intention (12:29) - DeepakChopra.ai Explained (14:31) - The Final Three Question (19:09) - Conclusion   ********This episode is sponsored by Grammarly. Let Grammarly take the busywork off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free today

25 Marras 20min

Why community is the most powerful tool for transformation.Community isn't just a feel-good buzzword. According to Gina Bianchini, it's a catalyst for personal and collective transformation.Bianchini is the CEO and founder of community-building platform, Mighty Networks, and author of the book Purpose: Design a Community and Change Your Life. "Community is when people come together, and every single member has something to give and something to receive," she explains. In contrast to the one-directional dynamic of a speaker and their audience or a creator and their following, Bianchini argues that the power of community lies in two-way exchanges, where each member benefits the group and benefits from it. "Community is the single most effective way to get results and transformation you just can't get on your own," she says.In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Bianchini joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss how to unlock the potential of purposeful communities. She shares strategies for finding your tribe during times of transition, the "people magic” created when we facilitate deep connections, and how creating community enables us to create the world and lives we imagine.To listen to the extended Deep Thinks version of this episode, please visit FasterSmarter.io/premium.Episode Reference Links:Gina BianchiniGina’s Book: PurposeEp.174 Fix Meetings: Transform Gatherings Into Meaningful Moments Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:17) - Defining Community vs. Audience (04:05) - Community as a Catalyst for Transformation (06:41) - Finding the Right Community (10:29) - The Future Story Framework (13:22) - People Magic & Facilitation (18:49) - The Final Three Questions (24:41) - Conclusion   ********This episode is sponsored by Grammarly. Let Grammarly take the busywork off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free today

20 Marras 25min