Maybe you can hire Kepa Arrizabalaga
In a move undoubtedly designed to spite Maurizio Sarri and our own Luke Moore, Kepa subbed himself on for last night's Super Cup shootout - and bloody won it for Chelsea!Marcus, Andy and Pete celebrat...
12 Elo 202140min
Last Tango in Paris
Well, it's happened: the chickens of football's overindulgence have come home to roost, as Lionel Messi joins the dark side. At least Jules is back for her first Ramble of the season! She's joined by ...
11 Elo 202137min
Return of the Mag
Joe Willock looks set to carry on the fairytale at St James' Park, where he'll no doubt continue to score in every single game. Should be quite a season for Frank Lampard incarnate!Marcus and Jim try ...
10 Elo 202134min
Not Fast, Too Furious: The José Mourinho story
Has anyone told José that it's still pre-season and a 5-2 loss to Real Betis didn't need five red cards for a mix of Roma players and staff? The Greatest Hits tour continues, it seems... Kate, Pete an...
9 Elo 202142min
There will probably be some supporters in here
Lionel Messi has actually, really left Barcelona. Probably.Marcus, Luke and Pete react to a seismic night as the Catalan giants hatch plans to turn Messi into a gas meter and Man City unveil their new...
6 Elo 202157min
Flying without Ings
It seems Aston Villa might well be splashing the Jack Grealish cash already, as Danny Ings slips off to Birmingham in the dead of night.Marcus, Pete and Andy check in with all the latest transfer happ...
5 Elo 202144min
Another VAR riddle to solve
After consulting some Proper Football Men, the Premier League has tried to dial back VAR by making it more complicated. Clangers galore!Kate, Luke and Pete tackle that with minimal contact before look...
4 Elo 202143min
The shirt off Joelinton's back
First the lack of goals in seasons gone by, now avoiding training altogether? Harry Kane really does hate August.Marcus, Jim and Pete settle in for a round of ice-cold sagas, with Kane determined to l...
3 Elo 202140min
