Back to the Barre

“In a 30 second span, two of the most iconic Dance Moms moments happen back to back,” Christi exclaims as "She's a Maniac" has those and more iconic moments to spare. To mark the occasion (and to celebrate one of her few episodes where she doesn't suffer) the Bitches welcome Paige Hyland to the Barre! Abby brings in Broadway dancer Rachelle Rak to choreograph the Golddigga group number. It's a not too subtle jab at Melissa, who was just secretly married, but it sure is fun to have to explain what a Gold Digger is to the kids! Perhaps more pressing is whether Abby will be able to square away her desire for control with Rak's non-Maddie centric choreography.Quotes“For us telling our points of view like on this behind the scenes thing, the kids version is totally different. Cause you guys were in the dance room and we didn’t know what was going on a lot of the time but you guys didn’t really know what was going on upstairs.” (12:09-12:24 | Kelly)“We all have come to learn that the Pyramid means nothing. Not based on any kind of fact or any kind of real information. Just kind of based on your last name, maybe.” (23:50-24:01 | Christi and Kelly)“It’s a cellophane wrap party…and we’re wrapping each other…in literal cellophane. I figure I should go put one of them on. Kelly! Maybe I’ll wear one of those this weekend on my face. I don’t think they work. Well they got to do something! Well it’s probably old and expired, it’s 12 years old at this point. Don’t you think the plant extracts might have dried up?! Maybe.” (56:43-57:10 | Christi and Kelly)“I am shocked that no producer picked that up and said, we’re going to incorporate this [Giant Doll Man] into a dance. Girls, this is Bob Fosse, he’s sitting on the edge of the stage, now dance for Fosse. Flirt with him, dig his gold.” (1:07:22-1:07:37 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertesFollow Paige on IG: https://www.instagram.com/paigehyland1Follow Paige on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@paigehyland_3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

4 Joulu 20231h 38min

"I can’t drink I’ll die!" laments Christi as she nurses a migraine while trying to still overcome the fact Jill really seemed like she wanted Kendall to play Rosa Parks. It's the second half of "The Apple of Her Eye" and it's time for Power House Dance Competition where the ALDC is up against Cathy's boys once more, and this time losing to Cathy isn't an option.The last time Abby went head to head with Cathy, it ended in a water bottle fight and plenty of screaming, something neither Cathy or Abby is going to let the other forget. Cathy hires "bodyguards" to keep her safe and Abby taunts her for purse assault (despite the fact that Abby started it). But it all comes down to who bests who on the stage, and the ALDC brings their A-game.There are mishaps to be had on both sides however, and Kelly consequently has some very unkind words for Jalen that may cross a few lines. But will it cross as many lines as Paige and Chloe's outfits? For Christi and Kelly, they might just have to cross a line to put into words just how shocking those outfits even were! Also remember, today is your last day to order Back to the Barre merchandise if you want guaranteed Christmas delivery!https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barreQuotes“That is like our famous line and I have like no idea. My kids are like: Do this with me mom, and they want me to reenact it. I cannot do it! Because we’re not actresses Kelly we just say funny shit when it comes to us.” (04:17-04:30 | Christi and Kelly)“Abby tells Mackenzie to make sure that she helps Kendall with her facial expressions. Ok, like let me paint a clown face on so she’s smiling for the whole dance like whatever Abby.” (29:05-29:21 | Kelly)“Yeah I think you’re allowed to call your own kid a hooker.” (37:03-37:08 | Christi)“I didn’t really get a mug shot. They made a pretend one. They did because that was at the Top of the Pyramid, which how did you get to the top for fighting? God if you get at the top for fighting I should have been at the top the whole time.” (51:24-51:35 | Christi and Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

27 Marras 20231h 4min

Order your official Back to the Barre merchandise by Monday, November 27 to guarantee Christmas delivery!!https://www.jakenothing.com/collections/back-to-the-barreXO, Christi & Kelly Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

22 Marras 20232min

"Red plastic rhinestone crap, blue plastic rhinestone crap," utters Christi as one of her most iconic scenes comes into play as these bitches cover the first half of the massive Season 3 episode "The Apple of Her Eye". Joining our moms is none other than newly dubbed Bitch #3, Jill Vertes! There could be no better guest for the occasion as this episode features one of Jill's most infamous attempts to bolster Kendall's standing with Abby, so she's here to explain herself!After a finishing a disastrous 7th place in last week's competition, Abby is determined to bring the ALDC back to the top with a rematch against Cathy at the next competition. With Nia being the only stand-out dancer from the previous routines, Abby decides to focus the next group dance around her with a contemporary dance themed for Civil Rights icon Rosa Parks. But in order to encourage Nia to be the best and "earn it", Abby implies the role of Rosa Parks is up for grabs?!This is especially shocking to everyone involved as the idea of any child not named Nia portraying Parks would be disastrous. Though Jill is seemingly up for the task and begins to promote Kendall for the role of Rosa Parks! Between this development and Abby's nicer than normal attitude, the ALDC is certainly in for an eventful week!Quotes“Christi you were out of the room. You know Eddie came back in and said (of Christi) that bitch is fucking crazy. I agree Eddie I agree.” (22:36-22:44 | Kelly and Jill)“Chloe you suck as bad as Paige. Go dance! That was rotten. That was like the passive aggressive: Oh come here sweetie you dumbass!” (38:44-38:56 | Christi and Jill)“She says that Rosa Parks got arrested because she stood up for something she believed in. That’s the same reason I got arrested, because I stood up for something I believed in: Her mistreating my children! Oh my god you’re like Rosa Parks. I am! I’m going with it. Kelly is Rosa Parks.” (43:34-45:50 | Christi and Kelly)“Kell, I’m teasing cause you were not on my side. You just wanted me to go in there and complain to Abby and get my ass kicked! Exactly, better you than me!” (1:07:16-1:07:25 | Kelly and Jill)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhylandFollow Jill on IG: https://www.instagram.com/jillvertes Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

20 Marras 20231h 59min

"We're not very smart, we haven't done Back to the Barre for a while," Christi confesses as the bitches get ready to ease back into the Barre with a quick look at some of Season 3's Promos. It's been a busy few weeks of filming and traveling for both Christi and Kelly. Between producing and Dance Moms Reunions, they managed to miss a whole episode!But fear not Bitchettes as this week they're dissecting two classic Dance Moms promos, featuring homages to both Flashdance and Take on Me. For 30 second clips they sure do take a long time to film, and no mom came out unscathed. You'd be surprised how easy it is to get hurt when a whole group of moms rush a door at the same time! And how giddy was Abby when she got to douse the moms with ice cold water? The answer won't surprise you!Quotes“Their wigs were horrible. Oh my god they were intentionally horrible. Like where did we get those?” (20:02-20:09 | Christi and Kelly)“All of a sudden it fell, we had no clue. And it was the coldest water of all time. It was probably 50 degrees! It was terrible!” (24:12-24:21 | Christi and Kelly)“She tries to break it. She made Kendall do it. She wouldn’t let it be Maddie, she made it be Kendall it’s hysterical. Well Kendall go her special part! I don’t think Jill wants that special part Kell!” (32:41-32:53 | Christi and Kelly)“Under no circumstances are we mud wrestling. I don’t know I maybe would now.” (46:06-46:13 | Christi and Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

13 Marras 202351min

"Why do we care?" Christi asks as Bitch #1 and Bitch #2 have it out for Mackenzie on the second half of Camouflaged Maneuvers. Melissa reveals Mackenzie's sprained ankle will keep her from performing for a suspiciously short 72 hours. Abby is upset by this turn of events and insists that Mackenzie sit in a wheelchair for the duration of the episode. But before the moms can even process why the ALDC even has this wheelchair on hand, Mackenzie is caught doing cartwheels on camera which infuriates Abby (and for some reason this also makes Christi and Kelly mad?). After Abby had been getting worked up over everyone not trying hard enough and "lying" for the past two weeks, this event did not go over well and all the kids get interrogated over who saw what.This time could have been better spent with Brooke who hasn't been given the proper attention she needs to prep for a solo. While Abby insists that is because she's older and doesn't need the attention, Kelly points out that's never been true of any of the other older children.But Kelly's problems are only just beginning because she has to awkwardly explain what Don't Ask Don't Tell is all about on national television! Abby insists the moms need to discuss the importance of the theme of the group dance to the girls, despite the fact she herself won't even say the word "gay"! Kelly's resulting heart to heart is certainly a Dance Moms moment to remember and certainly will need a drink to get through!Quotes“I think I’m traumatized and scarred from the mom jeans so I am on a quest. I’m on a quest to find the perfect jeans!” (15:07-15:16 | Christi)“If we weren’t in the dance community our kids wouldn’t have known. I don’t just think they would have been as openly exposed [to the gay community], but again it wasn’t anything I don’t ever recall ever having a conversation about specifically? The only time I did was on national television!” (30:10-30:30 | Christi and Kelly)“We had to have every single outfit approved by Abby, and our kids looked gorgeous. They looked gorgeous and then this woman rolls in with the ugliest shit known to man. I don’t understand.” (37:26-37:36 | Christi)“Maybe they did, maybe they didn’t. Maybe everything was like a big middle finger to Abby at this point cause she’s a lot.” (1:10:28-1:10:36 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

30 Loka 20231h 13min

“If we did this whole episode it would be like The War and Peace of Dance Moms," warns Christi as our duo begin tackling the first part of the two hour epic "Camouflaged Maneuvers". The ALDC returns for practice after a brief break with a longer than expected five days to go until their next competition. Abby is frustrated with second place, even Pyramid topper Brooke is only given backhanded niceties.The remedy is an extended back to basics training to prep for a group Hip-Hop dance routine inspired by the recent dissolution of the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy. The choice of topic is a head scratcher for the moms, but the backroom maneuvers of Jill in the previous episode and Abby's dating life still command most of their attention at the moment. It frustrates Holly to see Jill continuously praised for going behind their backs while everyone else is lambasted for similar behavior. But shady things aren't only happening on the mom's end as Mackenzie has suddenly received a sprained ankle and can't participate in the group dance, an excuse Abby is suspicious of after Melissa claims that it's been a problem for weeks without any prior mention.But the girls take a back seat for Abby when out of the blue she gets called for a date! When a "former stripper" arrives to take Abby to dinner, speculations of what's even happening run wild and of course there's hope that Abby getting laid will help the mom's overall standing. Gross times indeed!Quotes“They stick a tube up there and it flushes you out. My yoga instructor had it done and she said she hadn’t eaten corn in three years, and corn came out! I’m gonna vomit! Imagine what would be in there! Ew! Kelly this is the most disgusting conversation we’ve ever had. Then why are we talking about it? You brought it up!” (05:07-05:35 | Christi and Kelly)“That’ll be our honeymoon. Naked fishies instead of naked pizza.” (35:55-35:59 | Christi)“I hope she goes on a date. Maybe she’ll get laid so she’s not so miserable. I’m mean. I think we’re hilarious. I would want to be friends with us because we’re funny!” (45:50-46:08 | Christi and Kelly)“The funniest part about Jill is that this is how Jill is. And so I am in the Era of Jill right now. I am a big Jill fan, because she fucking makes this show ridiculous.” (1:20:04-1:20:14 | Christi)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

23 Loka 20231h 33min

"I'm so uncomfortable," Christi says speaking for us all as the moms take Abby on a speed dating excursion in "All's Fair in Love and War". Supposedly love is in the air and Abby decides to center this week's group dance on a tragic love story with Your Dream Will Be My Dream. While the moms welcome the return of Nick Dobbs to bolster the performance, Abby's choice to center the piece around a dying Brooke, who is also deeply uncomfortable with the choreography, doesn't sit well with everyone.The topic of loves leads Melissa to pitch taking Abby on a speed-dating night out, which the moms hope will help to get Abby on their good side. Instead it mostly leads to some uncomfortable Abby flirting and further group segmentation as Christi is asked by Abby not to attend, which Jill happily facilitates. Tensions grow stronger when Jill has Gianna give Kendall some solo practice time, despite the fact Kendall is supposed to be practicing her duet with Nia. When Abby starts to pressure Nia to drop out of the duet at the last second in favor of Maddie, Holly begins to note that instead of working as a team, it's starting to become every mom for herself as Nia is sidelined.Plus, after demanding last week that the kids improv and then promptly scolding them for doing so this week, Abby seems more intent than ever to focus solely on Maddie. The love won't be in the air for long if these divisions grow deeper, and that'll be evident come performance time!Quotes“Those look like avocados. I thought they looked like sperm! I’m not pregnant the sperm are on my shirt people! Oh Kelly, god! You should never let them do that on your shirt.” (21:16-21:28 | Christi and Kelly)“We’re in trouble no matter what we do. If we’re fighting we’re in trouble. If we’re having fun we’re in trouble. If we’r making costumes we’re doing it wrong. We want to be in charge and if we’re not then we are lazy and not contributing. If we’re at work we don’t love our children. If we’re not at work we need a job.” (31:02-31:15 | Christi and Kelly)“Me and Abby want the same kind of man! Ew!” (50:32-50:36 | Kelly)“Abby says don't you think he should get me a ring? And I'm like, but why would you be excited to get engaged to a gay man? Holly says it could be a friendship ring, you say or a beard!” (1:05:55-1:06:09 | Kelly)LinksSubscribe to us on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC50aSBAYXH_9yU2YkKyXZ0w Subscribe to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/backtothebarreThank you to Ashley Jana for allowing us to use Electricity!! Follow her on IG HERE: https://instagram.com/ashleyjanamusic?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=Download Electricity HERE: https://music.apple.com/us/album/electricity/1497482509?i=1497482510Follow Christi on IG: www.instagram.com/christilukasiakFollow Kelly on IG: www.instagram.com/kellylhyland Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

16 Loka 20231h 34min