Sexology

Welcome to episode 22 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Joe Zarate-Sanderlin. In this episode, we talk about the psychology behind sexual fetishes.  Joe ZaRAte-SANderlin is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist seeing clients in private practice in San Francisco, California. He has been active in the open relationship and BDSM communities in New York, Boston, and San Francisco for nearly 20 years.  He earned his Master of Arts in Counseling Psychology at Pacifica Graduate Institute in Montecito, California. Pacifica highlights the need for therapists to do their own inner work. As a part of this, Joe has examined the role of the unconscious dark side of the personality, often called The Shadow, in his own life and in the lives of his clients. As a part of his training as a therapist, he worked under the supervision of Dossie Easton, co-author of The Ethical Slut, The Topping Book, and The Bottoming Book. For two and half years, he primarily saw clients in open relationships and BDSM relationships under Dossie’s guidance. In addition to working with Dossie, Joe was a counselor in a Catholic elementary school for three years and he volunteered at a low-few non-profit therapy clinic in San Francisco for four years. His interest in alternative sexuality includes helping normalize some activities that can carry a stigma while recognizing that those activities can sometimes become disordered and cause stress. He has focused on unpacking the shame that many people feel regarding their sexuality. He is also interested in the historical and cultural aspects of relationships and sexuality and he is passionate about challenging the bias toward hetero- and mono- normative relationships and toward binary views of gender. Since he became licensed in 2013, he has continues his focus on working with clients in the LGBT, open relationship, and BDSM communities. He is a member of both Gaylesta and Bay Area Open Minds, two San Francisco Bay Area based organizations that promote and support therapists working with LGBT, open relationship, BDSM, and alternative sexuality communities. He was recently named to the Bay Area Open Minds board as social coordinator. Joe has conducted trainings for other therapists on couples therapy, BDSM, open relationships, and talking to clients about about sex as well as guest lectured about couples therapy on the master’s level. He is in the early stages of writing a book about the role of attachment in open relationships.   In this episode, you will hear:   What sexual fetishes are How sexual fetishes can be healthy for people The more common fetishes Joe see’s in his practice How there could be many more people with fetishes than we realize The role society plays around this issue How people with fetishes can still be aroused without fetishes Ways in which people develop fetishes How shame and guilt plays a big role in fetishes Creating safe spaces for people to be able to talk about fetishes Ways in which to support someone in y our life who has a fetish The need for good communication and engagement   Resources http://www.jzsmft.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

6 Kesä 201731min

Welcome to episode 21 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Renelle E. Nelson who is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist. She has been providing therapy for over 11 years. In this episode, she talks about what it means to have a low libido, how it’s not a one-person problem but a couple’s problem and recommendations for couples dealing with this issue.  Renelle hails from the state of Milwaukee, Wisconsin and got indulged in the profession of Marriage and Family Therapy in Grad School. Renelle was able to attain the first-hand knowledge of the silenced suffering and agony of women specifically due to lack of education and self-awareness, while working at A Woman’s Touch Sexuality Resource Center. These experiences led her to transition her passion of working for the betterment of women and others into a profession as an AASECT Certified Sex Therapist.   Over the years, Renelle has worked exclusively with a large number of men and women and families who are in need of assistance, guidance, and counseling. Renelle has been able to work in tandem with a great number of her clients and has been able to successfully find the plausible solutions of their problems related family and sex life. Renelle is a self-proclaimed self-pleasuring advocate who is always on the lookout for opportunities to spread the knowledge regarding the many benefits and advantages of self-pleasuring, and self- love with the world. Renelle has spoken at a numerous renowned speaking events on topics regarding self-pleasuring and depression concerned to oppressed sexual life and problems. Renelle is also an owner of Kaleidoscope Services LLC which is a platform specifically made for the purpose of enhancing common individual knowledge regarding these sexual aspects of life and their connection with the issues related to anxiety and depression. Renelle primary objective is to use her remarkable skills and natural talents to enhance, educate, and excite the people life in and out of the bedroom.   In this episode, you will hear:   What it means to have a low libido The definitions of a low libido and what is defined as normal Why you shouldn’t compare your sex drive to what it was like when you were younger Struggles with desire How it’s not a one-person problem but a couple’s problem The need for good communication around this issue Unresolved issues around anger How high levels of stress can affect your sex life The controlling power dynamic How the ideas of being defective can produce feelings of shame The effects of getting sexual information from pornography The difference from having a low libido and being a-sexual Utilizing sexual novelties Recommendations for couples dealing with this issue   Resources https://kaleidoscopeservicesllc.org https://www.facebook.com/kaleidoscopeservices Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

30 Touko 201741min

Welcome to episode 20 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Deborah Sundahl, who speaks to me about female ejaculation, the misconceptions, how all women have the capability to ejaculate, ways in which to learn how to ejaculate and the psychological and physiological benefits from ejaculating. Deborah Sundahl is the foremost pioneer, popular expert on female ejaculation and the G-spot. She is the author of the seminal book, Female Ejaculation and the G-spot (Hunter House, 2003/2014). Her 30 years of groundbreaking contributions to this field include a line of videos titled the Female Ejaculation Sex Education Series (Isis Media, Inc.), which Deborah produced and hosts. She lectures and gives workshops in North America and Europe, and has taught thousands of men and women how to integrate the G-spot and female ejaculation into their erotic lives. She continues to be a spokesperson for female sexuality and an advocate for sex education.  In this episode, you will hear: The definition of female ejaculation Scientific studies that show what female ejaculation is How ancient cultures knew about female ejaculation How all women have the capability to ejaculate Misconceptions around this issue The need for more educational material on this topic Psychological and physiological benefits The role Tantra has played over the years for female ejaculation The empowerment that comes with honouring your body and sex life Ways in which to learn how to ejaculate The need to stimulate the g spot to ejaculate The need to let go and not confuse urine with ejaculate How spirituality can play an important role around this issue    Resources http://deborahsundahl.com https://www.amazon.com/Female-Ejaculation-G-Spot-Deborah-Sundahl-ebook/dp/B013KT9X1E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1495550489&sr=8-1&keywords=female+ejaculation+deborah+sundahl  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

23 Touko 201732min

Welcome to episode 19 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Laurie Watson, LMFT. In this episode we talk about how you can get the spark back, and the importance of understanding different sex drives and ways to address them. Laurie is a certified sex therapist who has twenty-five years of experience working with couples and individuals about love and sex. Laurie says, “I’ve never seen a couple who I didn’t feel hope about their healing and happiness. The difficulty is convincing them to give up the idea that only their partner will have to change!” She authored her first book Wanting Sex Again – How to Rediscover Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage (Penguin) in December 2012. A popular blogger for the general public with over 1.6 million reads on Psychology Today Online in Married and Still Doing It, Laurie also lectures professionals at Duke’s and UNC Chapel Hill’s medical schools on sexual function and dysfunction. Featured in her hometown in the N&O, Laurie has also been published or quoted in most every nationally popular magazine like Glamour, Women’s Health, Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, etc. A popular media figure, she has appeared on the Katie Couric Show and is regularly on radio and television in Raleigh and Greensboro. Director/owner of Awakenings, Center for Intimacy and Sexuality, Laurie supervises 6 clinicians in both Raleigh and Greensboro. She’s a member of St. Michael’s Episcopal Church, has been married for 30 years and has three grown sons. In this episode, you will hear: How important sex is, in a marriage What are some of the causes of a sexless marriage How couples can develop a power struggle in a relationship through a sexless marriage Ways in which in couples can reconnect The different sexual dynamics between a man and a woman that can lead to a sexless marriage Understanding each other’s sex drives, what works and doesn’t work in the bedroom The need for women to have clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, only 15% of women reach orgasm without clitoral stimulation How couples can get stuck in a loop of not having sex Overcoming the stresses of modern life, work, kids etc to have a healthy sex life The different reasons why men and women will withdraw from sex   Resources http://awakeningscenter.org http://awakeningscenter.org/test-sign-up Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

16 Touko 201742min

Welcome to episode 18 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Dr. Debra Mollen. In this show she discusses women’s reproductive rights, the myths and misconceptions around abortion and the consequences of limiting reproductive rights; e.g. DIY abortions. Debra Mollen is a psychologist, Professor, and Director of the Counseling Psychology Master’s Program at Texas Woman's University in Denton, Texas. She has published scholarship on women’s sexuality, multiculturalism, reproductive justice, and professional development in various academic journals. Debra is a recognized as a Certified Sexuality Educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists and was the 2016 recipient of the Distinguished Graduate Faculty Award from her university. She is a Co-Chair for the Revision of the American Psychological Association Guidelines for the Psychological Practice with Girls and Women and past-Chairperson of the Division 17 (Counseling Psychology) Section for the Advancement of Women Her specialties include: Multicultural awareness and diversity training, training and professional identity, sexuality education, childfree women, feminist theory and therapy In this episode, you will hear:   The rights women have when it comes to reproduction The myths and misconceptions around abortion How women can feel a sense of alienation and hopelessness when confronted with abortion How there isn’t any recognizable science or data for “Post Traumatic Abortion Syndrome” The ways in which our culture can pressure women into motherhood How our modern society can romanticize having children How limiting women’s reproductive rights could influence their sexuality Consequences of limiting reproductive rights; DIY abortions. Knock on effects: trauma, anxiety, and depression How legislators are chipping away at women’s reproductive rights Ways in which to counteract the legislators The need for good quality education and information on this issue  For more great content check out www.sexologypodcast.com   Resources http://www.worldsexology.org/resources dmollen@mail.twu.edu http://www.worldsexology.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/declaration_of_sexual_rights_sep03_2014.pdf https://www.prochoiceamerica.org/ https://www.guttmacher.org/ http://www.siecus.org/ https://www.aasect.org/ Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

9 Touko 201731min

Welcome to episode 17 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is Dr. Lisa Firestone. In this episode, Dr. Firestone talks about the definition of a “Fantasy Bond”, childhood experiences that can affect your sexuality and the need for self-compassion around these issues.  Dr. Lisa Firestone is the Director of Research and Education at The Glendon Association. An accomplished and much requested lecturer, Dr. Firestone speaks at national and international conferences in the areas of couple relations, parenting, and suicide and violence prevention. Dr. Firestone has published numerous professional articles, and most recently was the co-author of Sex and Love in Intimate Relationships (APA Books, 2006), Conquer Your Critical Inner Voice (New Harbinger, 2002), Creating a Life of Meaning and Compassion: The Wisdom of Psychotherapy (APA Books, 2003) and The Self Under Siege (Routledge, 2012). In this episode, you will hear:   The definition of a “Fantasy Bond” How common it is for people to experience the Fantasy Bond Repeating destructive behaviours throughout different relationships Being able to experience healthy sexuality without acting out from your past Childhood experiences that can affect your sexuality Identifying if you’re reacting in a fantasy bond as opposed to reacting authentically The need for some people to have certain fantasies to be aroused The importance of being vulnerable with your partner in a relationship Overcoming the shame that not being vulnerable can create Why both partners in a relationship need to be authentic with each other Voice Therapy – How it works and its similarities to Narrative Therapy The need for self-compassion and not be too self-critical  Resources https://www.psychalive.org https://www.sexologypodcast.com lfirestone@glendon.org http://drlisafirestone.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

2 Touko 201731min

Welcome to episode 16 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is the creator of Talk Sex with Me, Tara Spears, LMFT, LMHC. In this episode, Tara talks about ways in which parents can support their children through the journey of sexual discovery, how to navigate the situation of your children discovering pornography and clarifying and communicating your own sexual values to your child. Talk Sex with Me was created by Tara Spears. Ms. Spears graduated with a Master’s Degree in Counselor Education from the University of Central Florida in 2005. She is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Certified Sex Therapist. She has over ten years of experience working with individuals, children, families and couples encountering a variety of hardships in life. After spending, most of her career responding reactively to situations or intervening after a crisis (i.e. a child’s removal from the home, failed adoption, and the aftermath of abuse), Ms. Spears decided to take a more proactive approach. In this episode, you will hear: How Tara became involved in this line of work The appropriate age for parents to start talking about sex with their children Why parents shouldn’t over-react if they find their children masturbating Ways in which parents can support their children through the journey of sexual discovery Clarifying your own sexual values Communicating those values to your child Knowing the distinction between sexual education and “putting sexual ideas” into your child’s mind How to navigate the situation of your children discovering pornography Making sure pornography doesn’t set their expectation for sex Communicating to younger children if they walk in on their parents having sex The best ways to react if your child becomes pregnant or impregnates someone else Negative connotations in school sex education and how to navigate around this issue For more great content please check out www.sexologypodcast.com   Resources https://talksexwithme.com talksexwme@gmail.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

25 Huhti 201731min

Welcome to episode 15 of the Sexology Podcast, today my guest is sociologist and sexologist Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus. In this episode, you will hear Dr. Gunsaullus talk about the normality of masturbation and how often people engage in it, positive effects from masturbation and ways in which parents can positively communicate with their children about masturbation. Dr. Jenn Gunsaullus, sociologist and sexologist, is a frequent speaker about sexual empowerment, healthy relationships, body image, erotic play, sexual consent, sexual health, and mindfulness. She has presented two TEDx Talks, is a writer on sex and relationships, and a recurring intimacy expert on the San Diego morning news. Her In the Den with Dr. Jenn educational video series has over 1.3 million hits on YouTube and she is an expert in the new documentary on masturbation, called Sticky: A (Self) Love Story. In addition, as a martial arts practitioner, she was recently promoted to black belt in Korean karate -- so watch out for this badass doctor! In this episode, you will hear:   The normality of masturbation and how often people do it How it’s normal for children to discover masturbation General concerns people have, is it harmful? How cultural and religious beliefs have negatively impacted people’s views on masturbation Misinformation – No, you can’t go blind from masturbation Positive effects from masturbation, mentally and physically Overcoming shame and embarrassment with meditative masturbation Masturbating in a relationship, does it hurt the relationship? Having open communication with your partner on this issue The psychological effects using toys and vibrators can have Ways in which parents can positively communicate with their children about masturbation How many of our currently held cultural views of masturbation were created in the 19th and 20th century For more great content check out www.sexologypodcast.com  Resources http://www.drjennsden.com http://www.drjennsden.com/meditative-masturbation Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

18 Huhti 201734min