EP96 - Overcoming Sexual Performance Anxiety

Welcome to episode 360 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Laura Copley. In this episode, we discuss Dr. Laura Copley's book, "Loving You is Hurting Me”, how Trauma bonding is about deep emotional connections and why solo relationship effort can yield positive results.  Trauma, heartache, betrayal, and abandonment can leave lasting scars that break the heart, clouds the mind, and shatter the soul. Dr. Laura Copley understands how painful and damaging your trauma wounds are and is trained to guide you toward healing.   Dr. Laura brings life transformation and Post-Traumatic Growth to your fingertips by offering one-on-one guidance, small group mentoring, powerful courses, online workshops, in-person conferences, live Q&A, and community support for those to connect who are on similar self-healing journey.   A globe-trotter at her core, Laura’s mission has taken her all over the world where she has made profound healing impacts in the lives of her clients and students. After her adventures speaking, advocating, and healing around the world, Laura returns to the heart of the Shenandoah Valley, where she is creating her dream lifestyle with her baby girl and golden retriever on her riverfront farmette overlooking the Blue Ridge Mountains.     In this episode, you will hear:  The need to view individuals as whole beings, not just oppressors or victims How Trauma bonding is about deep emotional connections  The ways safety and trust play a significant role in sexual connection How the embodiment of emotions can enhance sexual experiences Strategies for breaking the toxic hook pattern include mapping the cycle How solo relationship effort can yield positive results Openly discussing trauma and vulnerabilities strengthens emotional bonds Details on Dr. Laura Copley's book, "Loving You is Hurting Me”  Cozy Earth This week’s episode was sponsored by Cozy Earth. Use the code SEXOLOGY to get 40% off all products: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SEXOLOGY   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

14 Nov 202330min

Welcome to episode 359 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Alexandra Solomon. In this episode, we discuss how sexual self-awareness involves understanding societal messages, the evolving nature of sexuality in long-term relationships and the need to break free from narrow sexual scripts.  Over the last two decades, Dr. Alexandra H. Solomon has become one of today’s most trusted voices in the world of relationships, and her work on Relational Self-Awareness has reached millions of people around the world.  Dr. Solomon is a licensed clinical psychologist at The Family Institute at Northwestern University, and she is on faculty in the School of Education and Social Policy at Northwestern University where she teaches the internationally renowned course, Building Loving and Lasting Relationships: Marriage 101.  In addition to writing articles and chapters for leading academic journals and books in the field of marriage and family, she is the author of two bestselling books, Loving Bravely and Taking Sexy Back. Dr. Solomon regularly presents to diverse groups that include the United States Military Academy at West Point and Microsoft, and she is frequently asked to talk about relationships with media outlets like The Today Show, O Magazine, The Atlantic, Vogue, and Scientific American.    In this episode, you will hear:  The importance of relational self-awareness in a healthy relationship Relational self-awareness involves looking at one's own behavior in a relationship How sexual self-awareness involves understanding societal messages  The importance of unlearning and relearning about one's sexuality How different sexual scripts can affect relationships The evolving nature of sexuality in long-term relationships Reminiscing can be a way to connect and maintain desire in a relationship Encouraging men to move away from performance-based sex  The need to break free from narrow sexual scripts  Cozy Earth This week’s episode was sponsored by Cozy Earth. Use the code SEXOLOGY to get 40% off all products: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SEXOLOGY   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

7 Nov 202338min

Welcome to episode 358 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Victoria Hartmann. In this episode, we discuss Victoria's background in studying necrophilia to aid criminologists, understanding the ethics and consent in the fantasies and experiences of necrophiliacs and the need for more research and understanding of paraphilias and their origins.  Dr. Hartmann holds two doctorate degrees, including a Ph.D. in Human Sexuality with an emphasis on Clinical Sexology, as well as a Master’s in Public Health. Her primary focus is forensic sexology, and the preservation of erotic artifacts, including the archiving of sexually explicit films. Her Doctoral work centered on the effects of dark web violent and explicit films.   She authored the book “I Love Dead People – Inside the Mind of Death Fetishists” based on her doctoral thesis and has proposed a new theoretical framework for classifying paraphilias.    She is an expert explicit material valuator; she is the current Director of the Erotic Heritage Museum in Las Vegas and serves on the ASRI (AstroSexological Research Institute) Advisory Board.     In this episode, you will hear:  Victoria's background in studying necrophilia to aid criminologists Differentiating necrophilia from related criminal acts, such as sexual murder Ethics and consent in the fantasies and experiences of necrophiliacs Challenges in classifying and assessing necrophilia and paraphilias clinically The complexities of necrophilia and difficulty in designing a classification tool The need for more research and understanding of paraphilias and their origins Therapist recommendations for addressing fetishes like necrophilia Information on Victoria Hartmann's podcast, "Sex Nerd Podcast," her book "I Love Dead People Inside the Minds of Death Fetishists,"  Cozy Earth This week’s episode was sponsored by Cozy Earth. Use the code SEXOLOGY to get 40% off all products: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SEXOLOGY   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

31 Okt 202337min

Welcome to episode 357 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Darshana Avila. In this episode, we discuss the importance of touch in human connection and intimacy, why we need healthy and attuned touch in relationships and the importance of relaxed arousal for a satisfying sexual experience.  Darshana Avila believes that the foundation of her work in Sex and Intimacy is based on mutual trust. She practices transparency about her identities, recognizing that this disclosure empowers potential clients to make informed decisions about their comfort level and compatibility with her values. Darshana offers a wealth of articles and training resources aimed at dismantling oppression on her Resources page.   Darshana Avila is a cisgender woman of Eastern European Jewish heritage with white skin, able-bodied, and straight-passing. She identifies as bisexual and queer and uses she/her or they/them pronouns. Her life journey has spanned various chapters, including living in liberal pockets of the United States, South America, and Southeast Asia.   She holds a college education and typically enjoys relatively easy access to spaces, resources, and opportunities, despite some of her identities also facing marginalization and persecution. Presently, she resides on land belonging to the Ohlone people, acknowledges this, and pays Shuumi land tax accordingly. Additionally, Darshana allocates a portion of her income to support various socially just and antiracist organizations.     In this episode, you will hear:  The importance of touch in human connection and intimacy Introducing gentle verbal redirection for better touch Normalize asking for consent and use words to ensure safety Expand vocabulary for talking about what feels good The need for healthy and attuned touch in relationships Feedback in heterosexual relationships can be challenging due to social conditioning Consider factors like pressure, speed, and direction for sensation The importance of relaxed arousal for a satisfying sexual experience Explore sex toys as tools for increased pleasure  Cozy Earth This week’s episode was sponsored by Cozy Earth. Use the code SEXOLOGY to get 35% off all products: https://cozyearth.com/discount/SEXOLOGY   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

24 Okt 202352min

Welcome to episode 356 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Cory Torgerson. In this episode, we discuss how erectile dysfunction is on the rise, affecting both older and younger men, the way porn addiction can contribute to this issue and how unrealistic expectations about sex can also impact erectile function.  Dr. Torgerson has been frequently invited to teach and lecture on these topics across North America. His entire medical education and surgical training was completed at the prestigious University of Toronto, within their Toronto hospitals and the University Health Network. Dr. Torgerson has received national recognition from his patients and colleagues for his incredible surgical skills. He is certified by the Royal College of Physicians and Surgeons of Canada in head, neck, facial surgery. In order to obtain this certification, Dr. Torgerson was required to complete additional years of training. Dr. Torgerson’s skills have been showcased on Global News, 16×9, The Marilyn Denis Show, The Morning Show, City News, and E! Beauty Channel Beauty News.   We invite you to experience the rewards of a welcoming environment where you can expect to be listened to, understood, and delighted with the outcome. Dr. Torgerson is here to help empower you to make the changes you desire to lead a truly beautiful life.   Considered a leading facial plastic surgeon in Toronto, Canada, Dr. Torgerson is able to provide his patients with a completely fresh and artistic approach to plastic surgery. With a finely honed gift for pinpointing specific areas that need to be treated, Dr. Torgerson is able to creatively and successfully provide the highest level of facial and nasal plastic surgery.     In this episode, you will hear:  How Erectile dysfunction is on the rise, affecting both older and younger men Understanding vascular issues are a common cause of erectile dysfunction The way porn addiction can contribute to erectile dysfunction How unrealistic expectations about sex can also impact erectile function The way lifestyle choices like diet and exercise can help prevent erectile dysfunction Looking at supplements available for erectile dysfunction and their effectiveness How testosterone replacement therapy can help improve erectile function Understanding the The Big Shot non-surgical male enhancement procedure   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   YouTube https://www.youtube.com/sexologypodcast  Hard Penis Check List https://oasis2care.com/hard-penis-checklist/  Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

17 Okt 202331min

Welcome to episode 355 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Matthias Rose. In this episode, we discuss ejaculatory control and its benefits, the challenges in redefining the concept of orgasm and the initial challenges people may face when learning ejaculatory control.  Since 2012, Matthias Rose has been a prominent figure in neo-tantric sacred sexuality and classical tantric spirituality, serving as a teacher, guide, healer, and practitioner. His transformative journey with Tantra has taken him beyond traditional teachings, leading him to provide guidance primarily focused on relationships, sexuality, masculinity, and spirituality through a tantric lens.   As a Relationship Coach, Matthias Rose collaborates with individuals seeking to revamp their relational lives, including finding new partners, healing existing relationships, or exploring fresh possibilities. His expertise spans ethical non-monogamy, polyamory, trust repair, deepening emotional and sexual intimacy, and aligning with one's authentic self while embracing masculine or feminine aspects. He draws wisdom from his life's experiences, marked by mistakes and personal growth, offering insights with a genuine presence and loving non-attachment, emphasizing the essence of loving with an open heart.   In his role as a Sexuality Guide, Matthias Rose underscores the pivotal role of sexuality in personal development. He has gained expertise in various areas of human sexuality, attracting individuals seeking guidance in these specific realms.    In this episode, you will hear:  Understanding ejaculatory control and its benefits Separating ejaculation from orgasm is possible through techniques like Tantra Emotional connection and pleasure in cultivating non-ejaculatory orgasms How ejaculatory choice involves delaying or choosing whether to ejaculate The challenges in redefining the concept of orgasm How ejaculatory orgasms and non-ejaculatory orgasms are distinct experiences Evolving definition of masculinity and the value of open heartedness The initial challenges people may face when learning ejaculatory control Matthias’s personal journey and how he rediscovered this practice through Tantra  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  Sexual Health Alliance Program https://sexualhealthalliance.com  Sexual Bucket List https://sexologypodcast.com/bucket-list/ Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

10 Okt 202325min

Welcome to episode 354 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with David Chambers. In this episode, we discuss the challenges faced by individuals in their pursuit of enhanced sexual experiences. We explore a myriad of factors, ranging from psychological challenges such as performance anxiety and body image concerns to physical issues like cardiovascular health and the impact of medications.  David Chambers embarked on his journey into the world of relationship coaching driven by a sincere desire to escape the anguish of failed relationships, conquer commitment fears, and infuse his life with genuine joy.   Growing up in a single-parent, female-dominated household, he grappled with understanding masculinity and healthy romantic partnerships. His twenties were characterized by empty encounters aimed at gaining validation and confidence, alongside an aversion to commitment rooted in the dread of rejection or making the wrong choice. Consequently, his relationships were marred by toxicity, conflict, stress, and infidelity.   In 2007, David initially entered the realm of relationship and dating coaching, only to realize that merely teaching men superficial confidence and conversation skills fell short of creating lasting change. Recognizing the need for inner transformation, he embarked on a transformative global journey, learning from expert coaches, collaborating with best-selling authors, and undergoing profound personal growth.   David's mission is to share the wealth of dating and relationship insights he's gained, guiding men on their path to self-healing and self-mastery. "The Authentic Man" seeks to unearth the root causes hindering men from forging profound relationships, dismantling these barriers, and leading them toward lasting, fulfilling relationships and fulfilling, intimate, and passionate lives.     In this episode, you will hear:  Challenges faced by penis owners in lasting longer during partner sex How relationships and partner interactions can affect sexual performance Discussion on the significance and non- significance of penis size Understanding psychological challenges: performance anxiety, worries about size The potential negative effects of steroid use on sexual performance  How distraction is a common problem in sexual experiences Suggestions to improve presence during sex include breath practices How masturbation can lead to quick arousal leading to premature ejaculation The ways meditation, deep breathing and yoga can enhance sexual experiences How being present doesn't necessarily exclude fantasies   Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Sexual Health Alliance Program https://sexualhealthalliance.com   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audioAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

3 Okt 202340min

Welcome to episode 353 of Sexology Podcast! Today I am delighted to be speaking with Dr. Eric FitzMedrud. In this episode, we discuss Dr. FitzMedrud's book The Better Man, exploring the intricacies of consent, emotional processes and emotional skills and addressing low interest in sex through open communication and cooperation.  Dr. Eric FitzMedrud hails from Minneapolis, where his formative years were enriched by the diversity that sparked his passion for issues of inclusivity. Following his high school years, he embarked on a transformative journey to India as part of the Rotary International Youth Exchange Program. In Colorado, where he pursued his college education, he encountered the love of his life, his future wife. His horizons expanded further during his college years when he embarked on a Semester at Sea, offering him a broader perspective on the world.   Dr. FitzMedrud's path to becoming a licensed psychologist (PSY23669) evolved from a scholarly interest in spirituality and human development during his undergraduate Religious Studies studies. He later shifted his focus to one-on-one work, completing prerequisite courses at Loyola University in Chicago for a year and ultimately earning his Clinical Psychology Ph.D. in 2008.   Passionate about his profession, Dr. FitzMedrud derives immense satisfaction from the meaningful and impactful work he does, helping others lead more purposeful and connected lives. Below, you will find a concise overview of various positions he has held throughout his career, as well as a brief insight into his therapeutic approach.     In this episode, you will hear:  Dr. Eric FitzMedrud discusses his book The Better Man and shares therapy experiences Exploring the intricacies of consent, emotional processes and emotional skills Examining the concept of sexual desire as a basic need  Debunking common misconceptions surrounding love and intimacy A closer look at prevalent myths about romance and sexuality Understanding deliberate approaches to maintaining intimacy The significance of embracing novelty and navigating through awkwardness Emphasizing the importance of emotional communication Addressing low interest in sex through open communication and cooperation  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast   Sexual Health Alliance Program https://sexualhealthalliance.com   Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio  Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

26 Sep 202344min