EP105 -Transformative Power of Sensate Focus

Welcome to episode 197 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Dr. Stephen Diamond to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Diamond talks to me about how we can best use the daimonic in our lives, analyzing the underlying reasons for our sexual fantasies and different ways we can engage with our fantasies.     Dr. Stephen Diamond is a licensed clinical and forensic psychologist practicing in Los Angeles, CA. A former pupil and protégé of existential psychoanalyst Rollo May, he is the author of Anger, Madness, and the Daimonic: The Psychological Genesis of Violence, Evil, and Creativity (State University of New York Press, 1996). Dr. Diamond has contributed chapters to the bestselling anthology Meeting the Shadow: The Hidden Power of the Dark Side of Human Nature (1990), Spirituality and Psychological Health (2005), the Encyclopedia of Psychology and Religion (2009), Writing Music (2018), a chapter titled "Existential Therapy: Confronting Life's Ultimate Concerns" to the textbook Contemporary Theory and Practice in Counseling and Psychotherapy (SAGE, 2015), and, most recently, a chapter titled “Existential Explorations of Psychopathy” for a forthcoming forensic psychology text.      His writing has also appeared in various professional journals such as the San Francisco Jung Institute Library Journal, Psychological Perspectives, the Journal of Applied Psychoanalytic Studies, PsycCRITIQUES, Existential Analysis, and Dasein, and he has lectured and taught at diverse institutions including Pacific Graduate School of Psychology (Palo Alto University), J.F.K. University, Argosy University, the C.G. Jung Institute-Zurich, Ryokan College, Loyola Marymount University, and the Existential Academy in London.      Dr. Diamond appears frequently as a guest expert in made-for-television documentaries about high-profile criminal cases. Presently, he authors a long-running blog titled “Evil Deeds” for Psychology Today, serves on the editorial board of JHP, and maintains a private psychotherapy practice. He is a contracted provider of psychotherapy for Kaiser Permanente Medical Group, and is also currently employed as a Consulting Psychologist for a private subacute psychiatric hospital in Sylmar, CA.      In this episode, you will hear:     Taking a look at the daimonic quality of sex   How aspects of the daimonic can take over or possess us   How can we channel the daimonic for our creativity?   Understanding what our sexual fantasies and desires might mean  Learning to embrace and not shut out your fantasies   Connecting with your erotic self   The difference between thinking about a fantasy and acting one out   Different ways we can engage with our fantasies   Analyzing the underlying reasons for our sexual fantasies   How using the daimonic can be a source of energy         Head to Nazanin’s Instagram each Friday for a new cooking challenge she is doing, focusing on enhancing your sensuality and libido!    Ebook: How to Increase Your Libido – For Women  https://oasis2care.com/how-to-increase-your-libido/    Find Dr. Diamond Online  http://www.drstephendiamond.com     Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

6 Okt 202031min

Welcome to episode 196 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Cyndi Darnell to the podcast. In this episode Cyndi talks to me about dating in the time of coronavirus, exploring your sexuality during a pandemic and improving intimacy during this challenging time.    Cyndi Darnell is a NY based, internationally renowned sex & relationships therapist & clinical sexologist. Originally from Australia, her approach spans the clinical to the esoteric. Her academic work is published in the Journal of Sex Education (UK) & Sexual & Relationship Therapy (UK).     She holds a board affiliate position for the University of Wisconsin - Stout Graduate Certificate in Sex Therapy Program. She’s a clinical associate with Pink Therapy UK and faculty on Pink Therapy's Foundation Certificate in Gender, Sexuality & Relationship Diversity Therapy and at New York’s Omega Institute.     Her online courses  and podcast The Erotic Philosopher meet today’s adult sex education needs by bridging the gaps in peoples’ knowledge regarding pleasure, relationships, passion and desire. As a trusted media source, her wisdom has been published in media outlets globally including The Washington Post, O -The Oprah Magazine, New York Magazine, Huffington Post, Bustle, Vice, Cosmo, Sydney Morning Herald, The Guardian and Aussie TV series LukeWarmSex for ABC. She’s spearheading progressive sex & relationships seminars and workshops for adults that deeply change people’s lives. In 2015 she was the only sexologist named on MindBodyGreen’s Top 100 Women to Watch.     She maintains a global consulting practice in NYC and online and offers insight into the quandaries of the erotic to transform fear into freedom.    In this episode, you will hear:     Should we be dating during a pandemic?  Looking at the different types of dating currently available to us   Recommendations for improving communication skills   Exploring your sexuality during a pandemic  Is it safe to have hook up sex?  Can we pursue longer term relationships through Covid?  How we can improve intimacy during this challenging time  Will our dating lives change forever?  What a new normal might look like for dating   Finding ways to not get overwhelmed by the restrictive nature dating during a pandemic  Using the time we have to reflect on what we really want from our sexuality and relationships     Sex Quiz for Women  https://oasis2care.com/sexquiz/    Find Cyndi Online  http://www.cyndidarnell.com     Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

29 Sep 202029min

Welcome to episode 195 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I'm delighted to welcome Erika Ettin to the podcast. In this episode Erika talks to me about online dating, the best practices you can use to meet people online and things to consider for yourself and the person you’re engaging with when dating online.     Erika Ettin is the Founder of A Little Nudge, a consulting company that helps people navigate the world of online dating, from first click to first date. She is also the author of the book Love at First Site and the co-host of the popular dating podcast So, We Met Online…     Erika studied economics at Cornell University and received her MBA from Georgetown. She started A Little Nudge in 2011 (after a seven-year career as an economist). She is responsible for many relationships, marriages, and the confidence some people simply need to “get out there.”     A Little Nudge has been featured in media around the country, including The New York Times, The Washington Post, NPR, Good Day Philadelphia, CBS, and Ask Men, and she currently writes a weekly syndicated dating column.      In this episode, you will hear:     How well does online dating work?  Does online dating work better dependent on your sexuality?   Looking at the issue of perceived flaws   Understanding that you need to need cast a wide net to get a good amount of quality responses  The common mistakes people make when dating online  The importance of being authentic and truthful when representing yourself  Be positive about yourself but don’t over-do it  Seeking out niche sites for those into Kink, BDSM etc   Being honest about your intentions whether it’s a one-night stand or long-term relationship        Head to Nazanin’s Instagram each Friday in September for a new cooking challenge she is doing, focusing on enhancing your sensuality and libido!    Ebook: How to Increase Your Libido – For Women  https://oasis2care.com/how-to-increase-your-libido/    Find Erika Online  https://www.alittlenudge.com     Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

22 Sep 202031min

Welcome to episode 194 of the Sexology Podcast! Today is a solo episode where I answer your questions about ways in which you can improve your sex life. We’ll look at issues such as sexual trauma re-enactment, improving your sex life after the honeymoon period and the importance of intimacy after sex.      In this episode, you will hear:     Why we engage in trauma re-enactment and ways to overcome those behaviors  Learning to confront what happened in the past  The importance of body work that can be healing   How power play and BDSM can help overcome trauma  Looking at the dynamics of bisexuality   Understanding when the right time is to start taking medication  Improving your sex life after the “Honeymoon Period”   The importance of communicating effectively and directly with your partner about what you want sexually   How masturbation can affect our sleep cycles   Using masturbation as a crutch to get better sleep  The importance of intimacy after sex   Looking at cultural differences in sex   Head to Nazanin’s Instagram each Friday in September for a new cooking challenge she is doing, focusing on enhancing your sensuality and libido!    What Kind of Lover Are You?  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover    Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

15 Sep 202022min

Welcome to episode 193 of the Sexology Podcast! Today it’s my pleasure to welcome Ariel Watriss to the podcast. In this episode, Ariel speaks to me about how she became involved working around the STIs, misconceptions people still have about STIs and analyzing the risks around sex.     Ariel Watriss (she/hers) is a nurse practitioner currently working in college health at Tufts University Health Services. She started there in 2013 and in June 2018 was promoted to be the Sexual health specialist for the clinic.      She received her bachelor’s and master’s degrees in nursing from the MGH Institute of Health Professions School of Nursing in 2011. Prior to her time at Tufts, she worked at the Fenway Community Health Center in their research department, the Fenway Institute. She was the primary clinician providing care to study participants and performed medical procedures in multiple HIV prevention biomedical studies, including HIV PrEP studies.      Before attending nursing school, she ran the HIV counseling, testing and family planning programs at the Sidney Borum Jr Health Center (a health center for disenfranchised and LGBTQ youth). She was the recipient of the American College Health Association (ACHA) 2015 Affiliate New Professionals Award for the New England area.      Her professional passions include LGBTQIA health, sexual health, and helping young adults navigate their own health advocacy. She has presented talks at national and regional conferences on HIV PrEP/PEP/sexual health, and has served as a panelist on CDC HIV prevention education programs.     In this episode, you will hear:     How did Ariel get into this work?  Misconceptions around STIs   Looking at the issue of shame and best ways to counteract it   Analyzing the risks around sex  The basic information that people need to be well informed   Looking at the hierarchy of concerns around STIs   How there is a lot of confusion and stigma around herpes   Looking at the treatments available for STIs in 2020   Why an STI diagnosis is not a death sentence or the end of your sex life  Learning when to best communicate you have an STI to a partner of prospective partner   Navigating hook up culture with STIs         Head to Nazanin’s Instagram each Friday in September for a new cooking challenge she is doing, focusing on enhancing your sensuality and libido!    What Kind of Lover Are You?  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover    Find Ariel Watriss here:   https://twitter.com/watrissa     Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

8 Sep 202042min

Welcome to episode 192 of the Sexology Podcast! Today it’s my pleasure to welcome back Amir Mohebbi to the podcast. In this episode Amir and I talk about medical treatments for sexual dysfunctions, looking at the issues that cause sex to be painful and learning to change your lifestyle to improve your sex life.      Amir Mohebbi is a proud Iranian-American currently completing his psychiatry residency at St. Louis University. He trained under mentorship from world-renowned forensic psychiatrists, Drs. William J. Newman and Brian J. Holoyda, whom co=authored a review related to his interests in sleep medicine and forensics entitled “Sexsomnia as a Defense in Repeated Sex Crimes”.     Amir presented his work alongside an expert panel consisting of forensic psychiatrists at the American Psychiatric Association 175th Annual Meeting in San Francisco, CA. He earned his medical degree from St. Louis University and holds a Bachelor of Science degree in Biology from the University of California, Irvine.    In this episode, you will hear:     Is there a medical treatment for those who find sex painful?   Looking at the issues that cause sex to be painful   How menopause can affect sex and sexuality   Looking at medical prescriptions and if they can help   Analyzing the effectiveness of Viagra and other medicines for erectile dysfunction    Understanding that Viagra won’t help with the root cause of the issue  How a healthy lifestyle can drastically improve erections   Adapting your sexual life around hormonal changes   How chronic iron deficiency can affect sexual desire   Learning to change your lifestyle to improve your sex life     Head to Nazanin’s Instagram from Friday 4th September for a new cooking challenge she is doing, focusing on enhancing your sensuality and libido!    What Kind of Lover Are You?  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover    Find Amir here:   EP175 with Amir Mohebbi   Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio     Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

1 Sep 202035min

Welcome to episode 191 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to welcome Dr. Kelli Palfy to the podcast. In this episode Dr. Palfy talks to me about male sexual abuse, the stigma around this issue and understanding that recovery is possible.     Dr. Palfy has a unique background in working with victims of sexual abuse.  She obtained her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Alberta in 2016. When conducting her doctoral research, she examined the reasons why males do not commonly disclose sexual abuse. She was well-prepared to research this topic from the experience she gained in her prior profession in law enforcement. From 1995 - 2011 when she was a respected member of the Royal Canadian Mounted Police. During this, her prior career she focused on sex crimes investigations and specialized in the global sexual victimization of children where she gained experience in identifying the sophisticated grooming tactics used by perpetrators.       Dr. Palfy brings the many facets of her unique combination of professional experience and perspective to her practice. She is now a trained trauma therapist and public speaker. As a private practitioner, she works with male survivors of sexual abuse, as well as first responders and couples. She is trained in the use of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). Outside of her professional life she is an avid outdoor adventurer, enjoying hiking, cycling, swimming, kayaking, and paddle boarding. She treasures her time with good friends and her pets.    In this episode, you will hear:     How did Dr Palfy become interested in this work?   The stigma that men face around this issue   The misconceptions men encounter around this topic   Looking at how the abusers can often be someone we know  Understanding that physical pleasure doesn’t mean consent   Looking at the sexual orientation piece of survivors  The dysfunctional ways survivors are coping after trauma   Sexual dysfunctions that can manifest in survivors   How to communicate being a survivor to your partner   Understanding that recovery is possible   Learning to commit to trauma treatment and the benefits it has         What Kind of Lover Are You?  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover    Find Dr. Palfy online:  http://kellipalfy.com/    Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

25 Aug 202032min

Welcome to episode 190 of the Sexology Podcast! Today I’m excited to welcome Tim Norton to the podcast. In this episode Tim speaks with me about erectile dysfunction, ways in which you can begin to tackle this issue, connecting with how sex feels rather than how we perceive it to be and myth busting the idea that bigger is always better when it comes to penis size.     Tim Norton is a Los Angeles-based sex therapist working in private practice, and host of a podcast on erectile issues and male sexuality - Hard Conversations. He obtained his bachelor’s and master’s degrees from the University of Southern California.     Tim is a proud member of American Association of Sex Counselors, Educators, and Therapists (AASECT), the Los Angeles Sexological Association, and works part-time with the Pain Psychology Center in Beverly Hills.        In this episode, you will hear:     Distinguishing between erectile dysfunction and dissatisfaction   The psychological barriers that can get in the way of a good erection  Ways in which you can start to tackle and overcome this issue   Connecting with how sex feels rather than how we perceive it to be  How our busy lives can get in the way of good erections   Learning how to get in a better mental space for better erections   Looking at penis size – does it matter?   Ways you can teach yourself to last longer in bed  Tackling self-esteem issues that could be getting in the way     What Kind Of Lover Are You?  http://www.sexologypodcast.com/lover    Find Tim Norton online:  https://www.timnortontherapy.com    Find Dr. Moali online:    http://www.sexologypodcast.com    Find me on social media:    https://www.instagram.com/sexologypodcast  https://www.facebook.com/oasis2care       If you are interested in booking a video counselling session with Dr. Moali:  https://oasis2care.com/contact-nazanin-moali-psychologist      Podcast Produced by Pete Bailey - http://petebailey.net/audio   Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

18 Aug 202032min