Tortured By Your Kids w/ Tom Papa | Your Mom's House Ep.690

JEANS UP!! On this week's YMH, Tom Segura and Christina P discuss husbands watching their wives give birth, the BTK killer, peener size, and "Ozark." They watch a batch of "Horrible or Hilarious" videos and new videos of Fedsmoker buying cigarettes and fighting with a church band. Then, Chris Larson faces up against the newest YMH staffer, Chad, to see who the smartest person at YMH is. The Main Mommies quiz them on basic knowledge and U.S. citizenship questions, and the victor is surprising!   Jenny Pentland is a writer, childhood friend of Christina's, and Roseanne Barr's daughter. Her new memoir is called "This Will Be Funny Later." She joins Jean and Jean to discuss memories from growing up with Mommy Tina, watching her mom, Roseanne Barr, rise to fame, being babysat in the back of The Comedy Store, Tom Arnold joining her family, and her life now raising five boys. She wraps up by watching Christina's TikTok curations and Tom's "Horrible or Hilarious" clips. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Mar 20221h 45min

Hot sauce is the best! Tom Segura and Christina P circle back and realize that Leo is a million times cooler than we remembered, Christina recalls Tom's powerful dump, and we look into urine therapy. The mommies recount the aftermath of staying with Charo and Blanca for a week, and Tom talks about all the money he had to pay Charo after the last episode... what car should she get? Christina is still struggling to figure out her cashier's pronouns and Tom is having a lot of fun with spam texts as Ambassador Cartwright.  THEN, we welcome back one of our favorite guests, Geoff Tate! They wonder why no one cares about the Olympics anymore, and we introduce Geoff to Leo! They discuss why some airports have crazier security than others, some of the wildest comedy gigs they've done, and 711 delicacies. Then, we discuss Applebees and run our guest through Christina's latest TikTok curations! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Mar 20221h 43min

Hey what's up there chomos? Its Your Mom’s House! This week we got a BANGER of an episode. Jeans and Jean Jacket start the show talking about celebrity best friends - for instance, Tom Segura and Brad Pitt, Bert Kreischer and Jimmy Buffett, Christina P and Paula Abdul… speaking of Jimmy Buffett, Tim and Christine discuss Margaritaville Resorts and other severely alcoholic destinations. Then, we’re joined by Tom’s mom aka Charo and her sister Blanca! Immediately, Charo comes in hot with her classic gaslighting and extortion skills, asking Tom to give her $500 and other various gifts for basically no reason. Tom and Christina remind her about the gifts they already got on this trip, including a manicure, a pedicure, gourmet coffee and cookies, a shopping spree… but Charo saved Tom $500? What is going on?!? As usual, Tom gets Charo and Blanca to watch Horrible or Hilarious clips, TikToks, and Fedsmoker videos. Can they handle the trauma? Can Tom and Christina handle the guests? And who won the bet anyway??? Watch and find out! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

23 Feb 20222h 13min

Keep em high and tight, it's another fresh episode of #YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! Tom is now very famous and hangs out with other very famous people like Brad Pitt. We take a look at what Glendale Gary has to offer, a cooler older guy, and the main mommies review the documentaries "The Rescue" about the Thai soccer team that got lost in the caves and "The Tinder Swindler" about a con artist. Christina gets some nice Valentines Day messages and we take a look and Chris Larson's February post! Also, Enny think hot sauce is the best! We watch a juicy confrontation at a McDonalds drive thru and we debate the pronunciation on the word "Crayon." Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

16 Feb 20221h 32min

Join David Cross for the livestream premiere of I'M FROM THE FUTURE on Saturday, February 12 at 5 PT / 8 PT. Tickets available at https://officialdavidcross.com #ImFromTheFuture Pull those jeans up, it's time for another #YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! We talk about people that choose to stay in their homes during crazy storms and hurricanes, watch a cool guy in IG trying to get his wife back, and debating if there's a difference between goths and Star Trek nerds. THEN, we welcome our guest, the incredibly funny David Cross! The main mommies chat with him about standup, recording his new standup special, and how he grew up. We then hear some behind the scenes of the classic sketch show "Mr. Show with Bob and David" and some controversy that surrounded the recent reboot on Netflix. The mommies and David then run through a scenario of a ground breaking new surgery technique that gives Tom a brand new bad-ass arm! We revisit Charo's incredible fart and how much Tom paid for it, which reminds David of a homeless person from his neighborhood. Lastly, Christina initiates David to the dark side of TikTok with her latest batch of curations. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

9 Feb 20221h 55min

YMH is making NFT's! And you can get yours RIGHT NOW with an account at https://Jambb.com!  New shows have been added to Tom Segura's I'm Coming Everywhere tour! April 30th in San Francisco, CA, May 7th in North Charleston, SC, and June 18th in Coachella, CA! Get your tickets now at https://tomsegura.com/tour. It's Wednesday mommies, you know what that means! Another episode of Your Mom's House! This week Jeans and Jeans start the show discussing their new fireplace, and the history of Sugar Ray (aka Sugar Gay), and what team they're gonna let each other bang for Valentine's Day. Shortly after, they're joined by Jim Gaffigan, American stand-up comedian, actor, writer, and producer. Check out his new Netflix special - Jim Gaffigan: Comedy Monster! Jim and the Jeanses talk about balancing show business and family, trying to raise children to not be cool guys/girls, and most importantly, brown routines. Later, Jim gets introduced to some of Christina's newest TikTok curations, Tom's latest horrible or hilarious clips, and even gets a taste of the world of pup play! Strap in and enjoy this week's episode! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

2 Feb 20222h 6min

YMH is making NFT's! And you can get yours starting next week with an account at https://Jambb.com!  It's Jean Day with your main mommies Tom Segura and Christina P and we get into cool body mods, Enny's incredible DM tip, and open with a cool guy into clabbered milk. Tom notices a pattern with Unk Shine, Christina notices a terrible Southern fashion trend, and we see a cool accident at a factory. Tom now listens to dark film scores, we smell Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop candle, and we dive into cool confrontations. Christina reveals the new way she blows her nose, we learn something cool about Conald Peterson, we go through another round of Christina's TikTok curations, and Tom addresses the recent passing of his father, Top Dog. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

26 Jan 20221h 33min

Touch my jeans through the fence, it's another episode of YMH with Tom Segura and Christina P! We talk about trying to get into wrong cars/houses/rooms, we watch a clip of an angry mom, handsome women, and body builders. We get an update on Tom sending out jackets to fat/poor people and we learn Christina might have run a little interference. We go over the super cool Rolling Stone article about Marilyn Manson, we come across a cool vape girl who farts, and we discuss Christina's mouth smells. We do a round of horrible or hilarious, and then it's TikTok o'clock. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

19 Jan 20221h 48min