Embracing the Messy Middle: Building Resilience in Relationships

In this episode of the Pass the Mic Podcast, guest host Mandy Schulis—a transformational Narrative Coach, trauma-informed Licensed Massage Therapist, creator of The Story Shift, and author of 48 Hours to Change Your Life—leads a candid and heartfelt conversation alongside her husband, Matt, as they reflect on their journey from difficult past relationships and personal trauma to building a healthy, intentional partnership. Drawing from Mandy's personal triumph over domestic violence and her two decades of entrepreneurial experience, the couple openly discusses overcoming adversity, navigating blended families, and facing unexpected challenges such as the pandemic and family loss. Through honest storytelling, humor, and vulnerability, they highlight the importance of communication, resilience, and rewriting personal narratives. This episode emphasizes growth, self-ownership, and the transformative power of choosing what truly matters in relationships and in life.

Key Topics & Timestamps

Episode Theme: "Married to the Mess" (00:02:54) Setting up the episode's focus on finding love later in life and navigating different personalities.

Relationship History (00:03:35) Shares dating history, negative experiences, and a lack of serious relationships.

Domestic Violence Against Men (00:08:18) Discussion of experiences with domestic violence and the stigma around men as victims.

Breaking Point and Story Shift (00:10:34) Describes the moment of deciding to change relationship patterns and seek something better.

The "Dumb" Decision and Overseas Trip (00:11:10) A story about booking a non-refundable trip with a toxic partner and realizing the need for change.

Meeting Each Other and Early Relationship (00:18:54) Sharing how they met, their mindset shifts, and the intentional steps taken to build a healthy relationship.

Defining What You Want in a Relationship (00:20:49) Exploring the challenge of identifying what you truly want versus what you don't want in a partner.

The Messy Middle: Parenthood and Pandemic (00:22:09) How the relationship was tested by having a child, the pandemic, and unexpected life changes.

Navigating Major Life Shifts (00:27:41) Describing engagement, pregnancy, moving, and family losses as major relationship turning points.

Second Major Shift: Family and Loss (00:28:43) Coping with further family changes, loss, and becoming more intentional in the relationship.

Advice for Men Seeking Serious Relationships (00:34:21) Offering advice to men about being intentional, knowing deal breakers, and seeking serious commitment.

Blending Families and Prioritizing Children (00:36:15) Approaching dating someone with a child and the importance of respecting parental priorities.

Real Life vs. Fantasy Relationships (00:37:21) Contrasting real-life partnership challenges with the fantasy of perpetual partying and superficial relationships.

The After: Embracing the Life You Want (00:39:30) Reflecting on reaching a new chapter where there is space to focus on themselves and enjoy life as a family.

Travel Stories: Then vs. Now (00:41:33) Comparing a first trip to Europe with a toxic partner to traveling together as a healthy couple.

Handling Stress and Bumps in the Road (00:44:00) Navigating travel mishaps and stressful situations by supporting and laughing with each other.

The Story Shift Process (00:47:23) Applying the "story shift" concept to life and relationships—focusing on what truly matters.

Powerful Quotes from the Episode

"I was mentally preparing myself to go to jail that night for no reason other than wanting to get away from this lunatic."

"I have come to recognize and accept that what I experienced was a form of domestic violence against men."

"One of my breaking points was going overseas, seeing all these amazing things I'd wanted to see for years, and not enjoying the person I was with."

"After all this insanity, I made a very conscious decision to spend some time by myself and figure out what I wanted."

"Making that story shift means really focusing on the life you want, so all the other stuff doesn't matter as much."

Resources CONNECT with Mandy Schulis Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/amanda.schulis Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandyschulisofficial?igsh=MTI3Z2Mwa29xaHA5Nw%3D%3D&utm_source=qr LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mandyschulis/ Book: 48 Hours to Change Your Life: https://amzn.to/49gBXFS

Connect with the Show

Pass the Mic Podcast: A unique monthly format featuring different experts in their zones of genius
Resilient Voice Media: A global podcast network and production company amplifying great people who do great work
Host: Gabi Garland, founder of Resilient Voice Media
January Guest Host: Mandy Schulis, Transformational Narrative Coach & Creator of The Story Shift

A Resilient Voice Media Production

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