373: I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover?

373: I was in a Traumatic Relationship – How to Recover?

Evolutionary psychologist, Doug Lisle, PhD discusses listener questions with co-host, Nathan Gershfeld.

0:00 Teaser Clips & Intro

02:07 The Year of Dr. Lisle's Book

3:13 New Personality Trait? Tendency for Victimhood

https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2020.110134

30:30 Disagreeable with a few moving parts

41:28 Q1: Past traumatic relationship – how to start dating again?

1:05:20 Final thoughts

Q1: How do I regain my self confidence after narcissistic abuse? I had an extremely emotionally abusive partner who would constantly call me fat even though I wasn't (I was 5'4 120 pounds). He would force me to weigh myself before every time we had sex and if I was above a certain weight, he would insult me and refuse sex. I developed an eating disorder because of this and got down to 90 pounds. Even when I was pregnant with our baby, he constantly called me a disgusting fat cow even though it was his child I was carrying. Now that I'm free of him I have regained some weight, and am a healthier 110 pounds. The problem is, I'm so traumatized by men and relationships that I am afraid to date. My confidence is lower than it ever was, even though, ironically I used to model when I was younger and have always been told I was beautiful, he ruined that. I'm 40 years old and I don't want to be single forever. What should I do?

X: @BeatYourGenes

Web: www.beatyourgenes.org

Doug Lisle, PhD www.esteemdynamics.com

Nathan Gershfeld, DC www.fastingescape.com

Intro & outro song: City of Happy Ones • Ferenc Hegedus Licensed for use

Copyright Beat Your Genes Podcast

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Episoder(401)

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

385: It's Not the Men. It's Who You Keep Choosing.

A listener who knows evolutionary psychology well asks Dr. Doug Lisle a painful question. If men seem satisfied once they have food and sex, and never care about her inner life, is she fighting a losi...

26 Jun 1h 12min

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

384: What Looks Like a Flaw Is Actually a Strategy

Why do some people freeze when they try to speak up in a group, while others jump in without a second thought? Dr. Doug Lisle says it is not shyness or a confidence problem you can train away. It is y...

10 Jun 1h 5min

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

Why Your Bad Moods Are Never Random

A listener noticed their kid gets dissatisfied after too much screen time and asked Dr. Lisle a deeper question: when your mood feels off, is it always worth analyzing, or are some bad moods just rand...

3 Jun 1h 9min

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Perfect on Paper, But Not for Me - Mate Value, Attraction, and the Disagreeable Personality

Most people assume mate value is a fixed, rankable number and that attraction follows logically from it. Dr. Lisle says that is the wrong model entirely. Mate value has deep objectivity across a popul...

13 Mai 1h

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

When the Marriage Is Over, but the Mortgage Isn't

Most people think a marriage in trouble can be downgraded into a business arrangement to protect the house. Dr. Lisle says that is the previous investment trap talking, not your judgment. The four wal...

29 Apr 50min

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

380: You're Not Overreacting About Your Partner (Here's why)

Your partner's habits are driving you crazy and asking nicely isn't working. The common advice is to be more patient, communicate better, or just accept your partner as they are. Dr. Lisle says that's...

15 Apr 1h 7min

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

379: Why Your Partner Stopped Trying (It's Not What You Think)

Most people assume that whoever cares less in a relationship holds the power. In this episode, Dr. Doug Lisle explains why that framing gets it completely backwards. What people call the "care gap" is...

2 Apr 1h

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

378: All's Fair in Love, War, AI, and the Marketplace

Q1: I am an artist and I will occasionally use AI for reference material.  But I still sketch the image out onto canvas and then paint it all by hand.  My issue is when other artists create AI artwork...

24 Mar 56min

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