66 - Why Therapy Rarely Helps With Anger: Katie's Story

66 - Why Therapy Rarely Helps With Anger: Katie's Story

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.

Have you ever realised your anger isn’t just affecting your relationship, but shaping the kind of parent you’re becoming?

In this powerful case-study episode, anger management expert Alastair Duhs speaks with Katie, a mother who recognised that long-standing anger patterns were beginning to impact her relationship and her child.

Despite trying therapy and in-person anger management, Katie still felt stuck, until she learned the right tools to manage anger in the moment it actually shows up.

Katie shares her journey of breaking generational anger patterns, rebuilding trust at home and making real change within weeks. Not through perfection, but through awareness, practical skills and consistent practice.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Talking about anger isn’t the same as managing it. Real change comes from learning what to do in the moment when anger starts to rise.
  2. Awareness is the turning point. Noticing early warning signs and using tools like the Tension Scale creates space to respond instead of react.
  3. Breaking generational cycles is possible. Recognising how anger is passed down can become a powerful motivation for lasting change.
  4. Progress isn’t linear — and that’s normal. Setbacks don’t mean failure; they’re part of building a new pattern.
  5. Practical tools beat theory. Techniques like positive self-talk, early disengagement, and the Anger Diary helped Katie make measurable progress quickly.

Katie’s story is a reminder that you don’t need to eliminate anger — you need to learn how to work with it, early and effectively, before it causes damage.

Links referenced in this episode:

  1. angersecrets.com — Learn more about anger management
  2. angersecrets.com/training — Watch the free training: Breaking the Anger Cycle
  3. angersecrets.com/course — Enrol in The Complete Anger Management System

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Episoder(92)

93 - The Real Reason You Keep Having the Same Argument Again and Again

93 - The Real Reason You Keep Having the Same Argument Again and Again

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Why do the same arguments keep happening over and over again?Whether it's your partner, your children, a colleague or even a s...

9 Aug 10min

92 - What to Say When Your Partner Is Upset (And Why Nothing You Say Seems to Help)

92 - What to Say When Your Partner Is Upset (And Why Nothing You Say Seems to Help)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Your partner is upset. You want to help. But somehow, everything you say seems to make things worse.The problem usually isn't ...

2 Aug 12min

91 - How to Control Anger: The Real Reason You Keep Losing Control

91 - How to Control Anger: The Real Reason You Keep Losing Control

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If you've ever promised yourself that this time would be different - only to find yourself losing your temper again a few week...

26 Jul 10min

90 - You've Grown Apart: Here’s How to Close the Distance

90 - You've Grown Apart: Here’s How to Close the Distance

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You've grown apart, but that doesn't mean your relationship is over.Many couples still love each other deeply, yet find themse...

19 Jul 11min

89 - You Can Feel Your Anger Building: Here's What to Do Next

89 - You Can Feel Your Anger Building: Here's What to Do Next

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.You can feel your anger building. Your jaw tightens. Your thoughts get sharper. You know where it's heading, but you don't kno...

12 Jul 11min

88 - Online Anger Management vs Face-to-Face Programs (From Someone Who's Run 2,000+ Sessions)

88 - Online Anger Management vs Face-to-Face Programs (From Someone Who's Run 2,000+ Sessions)

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.Online anger management or face-to-face programs. Which one actually works better?After running more than 2,000 face-to-face a...

5 Jul 9min

87 - Why You're Still Losing It - Even After Trying Everything

87 - Why You're Still Losing It - Even After Trying Everything

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.If your anger keeps coming back no matter how hard you try to control it, the problem may not be your effort. It may be the mi...

28 Jun 14min

86 - How to Tell If You Have Anger Issue

86 - How to Tell If You Have Anger Issue

For more information on how to control your anger, visit angersecrets.com.In this episode, anger expert Alastair Duhs walks through seven signs that anger may be causing real problems in your life. Wh...

21 Jun 10min

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