381. Are friendships REALLY meant to be inconvenient?

381. Are friendships REALLY meant to be inconvenient?

Everyone wants a village? No one wants to be a villager? In a world obsessed with protecting our peace, optimising our time, and cutting off anything that feels draining ... have we accidentally made friendship optional? In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology behind friendship and why the best ones sometimes make you work harder.

We explore:

  • The viral idea that “inconvenience is the cost of community”

  • The 4 psychological pillars of lasting friendships

  • How much time it actually takes to build a close friend

  • The rise of therapy-speak and how “boundaries” can sometimes become disguised avoidance

  • Why conflict isn’t the end of a friendship
  • 6 practical ways to “be a villager”

  • When to kick someone out of the village...

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re asking for too much, giving too much, or slowly drifting from the people you care about, this episode is for you.

Watch on Netflix

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episoder(455)

452. How to get better at being alone

452. How to get better at being alone

The fear of missing out or not seizing every moment are some of the biggest worries we experience in our 20s. However, spending time alone isn’t the same as being lonely or doing nothing - in fact, it...

31 Aug 46min

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychologic...

27 Aug 52min

450. The psychology of the quarter life reinvention

450. The psychology of the quarter life reinvention

In this episode, we explore the psychology of the quarter life reinvention: the period that can come after the confusion, uncertainty and identity crisis of our early and mid-20s, when things finally ...

24 Aug 30min

449. The psychology of your shadow self

449. The psychology of your shadow self

What is the shadow self? And how do we meet ours? In today's episode we explore what it means to get curious about the shadow parts of ourselves. We take a grounded look at shadow work - where the ide...

23 Aug 33min

448. The psychology of reputation

448. The psychology of reputation

We're talking about reputation. On a fundamental level, our reputations are a signal of our qualities that make us worth associating with, and we tend to spend a large amount of time ruminating and ev...

20 Aug 43min

447. The psychology of PMOS/PCOS ft. Dr Hazel Wallace

447. The psychology of PMOS/PCOS ft. Dr Hazel Wallace

I was recently diagnosed with PMOS, and with that came a lot of questions: why is my body like this, what caused it, will I be able to have kids, how can I fix it? There's a lot of information (and mi...

17 Aug 1h 14min

446. The psychology of Stockholm Syndrome

446. The psychology of Stockholm Syndrome

The term “Stockholm Syndrome” is used to explain why someone might defend, protect, or feel attached to a person who has harmed them - but why does this happen? In this bonus episode, we explore where...

15 Aug 31min

445. Your guide to nervous system regulation

445. Your guide to nervous system regulation

Tips for nervous system regulation are everywhere right now - from breathwork and cold plunges to conversations about burnout, anxiety, and trauma. But what does it actually mean to be regulated, and ...

13 Aug 52min

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