how to lock-in so hard your crush dies (metaphorically): limerence, yearning & being delusional

ok so i originally said this was going to be one long video with an accompanying substack article - now it will be a few videos with one or more substack articles… stay tuned! i hope you enjoy the first instalment of the 2026 love, lust & loathing valentine’s day series! this started as a mix series on soundcloud (you can still listen to the previous mixes) but in 2024 i added a lil Q&A which i thought to bring back this year! this first video focuses on differentiating between crushes and limerence - i fear many people might be mis-identifying a crush as limerence or being overly hard on themselves with the over-pathologisation of therapy speak etc… don’t let the desire to grow and evolve kill the whimsy in you!!! cute, CHAOTIC and critical thinking can co-exist, just make sure that its a balance that works in your favour!!! love u xx

youtube video: https://youtu.be/rOtI0i13dIA

00:00 intro

02:15 1. defining love

03:51 - question 1

05:05 - 2. defining limerence

05:39 - 3. the stages of limerence

06:33 - 4. limerence vs a crush

07:50 - 5. a crush is a lack of information

08:19 - 6. sexual energy is a form of creative energy

limerence is becoming overly attached to the fantasy you create

08:51 - 7. weigh the attention you receive accordingly

09:12 - 8. get a creative hobby or 5 if you need

10:04 - 9. it takes longer to know someone than you think

10:51 - 10. they represent something that you need to nurture or work towards for yourself/maybe you just wanna be him

10:59 - 11. career woman blindspot

11:30 - 12. avoid working with your romantic interests

12:04 - 13. storytime :P

12:39 - 14. the disrespect is the closure

12:48 - 15. you don’t need other people’s approval to validate what you want to do

14:09 - 16. never assume that a man is more capable than you

14:25 - 17. the dangers of prioritising male attention

14:49 - 18. what do i get out of being delusional over this person

14:51 - 19. men rarely go out of their way unless they perceive a benefit to themselves

14:59 - 20. actions speak louder than words

15:45 - 21. the road to recovery for pickmeshas

16:05 - 22. men need to learn to love others, women need to learn to love themselves

16:08 - question 2

18:02 - 23. awareness is a privilege

18:39 - 24. you can’t consume your way into a new pattern

18:57 - 25. if you have complex trauma, seek the guidance of a mental health professional

19:12 - 26. eliminating triggers and isolation is not enough

19:19 - 27. you need to add activities that bring you joy and activate your creativity and self-expression

19:45 - 28. the “flow state”

19:56 - 29. the illusion of a flow state from external sources

20:25 - 30. journalling

21:01 - 31. keep an ick list

speak to professionals

21:21 - 32. set a good example for yourself

22:18 - 33. lock in

22:52 - 34. believe in your future self

23:39 - 35. speak to professionals!