389. How to experience healthy love after toxic love

389. How to experience healthy love after toxic love

After toxic love, healthy love can feel surprisingly hard to recognise because you’ve likely learned to expect chaos, inconsistency, and emotional whiplash. In this episode, we unpack what toxic love actually looks like, how it shapes your beliefs about love in your 20s, and why calm, consistent connection can feel suspicious or even ‘boring’ when you’re used to intensity.

We explore:
• What toxic love is and how it intersects with abusive
• How this reshapes trust, pessimism, and your expectations of people
• The role of neurochemistry, addiction, and intermittent reinforcement in toxic bonds
• Self-sabotage and self-esteem
• The role of attachment patterns over time
• What healthy love and conflict actually feel like
• Practical ways to lean into safe love

If you’re conflicted between craving consistency or chaos, this episode is for you.

Watch on Netflix

Follow Jemma on Instagram: @jemmasbeg

Follow the podcast on Instagram: @thatpsychologypodcast

Subscribe on Substack: @thepsychologyofyour20s

For business: psychologyofyour20s@gmail.com

The Psychology of your 20s is not a substitute for professional mental health help. If you are struggling, distressed or require personalised advice, please reach out to your doctor or a licensed psychologist.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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Episoder(461)

458. Can embracing stress actually help us?

458. Can embracing stress actually help us?

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14 Sep 36min

457. The psychology of 'false' memories

457. The psychology of 'false' memories

We treat our memories like a reliable recording of the past. We remember what happened, how we felt, where we were, and what was said. But what if our account is more like a subjective recollection of...

12 Sep 30min

456. Why does feeling sad sometimes feel so good?

456. Why does feeling sad sometimes feel so good?

Why does feeling sad sometimes feel... so good? Whether it’s putting on the saddest song you know, rewatching a movie that always makes you cry, indulging in a little self-pity or finally letting your...

10 Sep 31min

455. Why does time start flying in our 20s?

455. Why does time start flying in our 20s?

It’s a known fact that time moves faster as we get older, but what does this really mean, and can we slow it down? In this episode, we’re going to try to make sense of why flies as we enter our 20s - ...

7 Sep 41min

454. The oedipus complex

454. The oedipus complex

The Oedipus complex is one of Freud’s most renowned and shocking ideas. In this episode, we dive into the origins of the theory and whether anything really remains once its gendered assumptions and co...

6 Sep 31min

453. 7 facts you need to know about your brain

453. 7 facts you need to know about your brain

There are a surprising number of myths and misconceptions about the brain, particularly with regards to its development in our 20s. In this episode, we unpack a number of surprising facts and studies ...

3 Sep 49min

452. How to get better at being alone

452. How to get better at being alone

The fear of missing out or not seizing every moment are some of the biggest worries we experience in our 20s. However, spending time alone isn’t the same as being lonely or doing nothing - in fact, it...

31 Aug 46min

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

451. Why you need to stop psychoanalysing the people you date

Dating can bring out the psychologist in us. One delayed reply, one vague comment, and we try to decode someone’s attachment style, childhood wounds, and capacity for commitment. But while psychologic...

27 Aug 52min

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