22. How to Stop Being a Control Freak

In this episode, Sam...admits she has a problem lol. She explores the root causes of her need for control (which borders on unhealthy)—why we crave it, why it's hard to let go, why we have to, and how to release it. Lots of storytimes in this episode, so if you want to hear about the Cosmo days—this one's for you. Listen to this episode if you have trouble letting go, if you're the reservations friend who freaks out when someone suggests a walk-in, or if you become insufferable the second you stray from your timestamped itinerary on a vacation. Key moments: 00:37 Sam’s control freak revelation 05:50 Signs you might be a control freak (and it might be affecting your life) 06:22 Are you a micromanager? Plus a Cosmo storytime lol 09:18 If you have difficulty delegating… 10:14 People who always need to be right (and give unsolicited advice) 10:59 Spoiler alert: if you’re a control freak, you probably aren’t a good team player 11:35 Click here if you’re a “fixer” in relationships 12:06 If minor speed bumps send you into a tailspin (or make you insufferable to be around)… 12:46 Unrealistic expectations of commitment to plans 14:15 Validation and approval from other people 14:54 Do you hate change and rely heavily on routines? 15:14 If you feel excessive guilt or responsibility when things don’t go affording to plan…even if it’s outside of your control 16:59 What you can vs. what you can’t control 17:43 What will happen if you don’t release control 18:20 Unearthing the root cause of your need for control 19:13 Early childhood experiences that might lead to an obsession with control in adulthood 21:26 Identifying your triggers 23:37 Identifying and challenging your limiting beliefs 26:14 A quote that altered my brain chemistry 27:54 My therapist absolutely ate with this one 29:39 How to build your mindset (an ongoing practice) 31:52 You can do hard things 32:52 Learning to trust other people 36:12 Refocusing on your priorities 38:42 Sam’s favorite strategies for creating space when her inner control freak gets triggered 41:45 Upcoming episode topics Get up to 15% off at NIRA. Visit Zocdoc.com/CAPSLOCK. Thanks for listening! New episodes are released every Sunday at 8 AM ET, so if you liked this episode, subscribe or follow to get notified about the next one. And please leave me a rating or review, so I can continue to improve the show. Talk soon! Follow along: Instagram: www.instagram.com/lifeincapslock TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@lifeincapslock YouTube: www.youtube.com/@lifeincapslock Threads: www.threads.net/@lifeincapslock Resources for this episode can be found here. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices