The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free

The Self-Abandonment Loop: Shame, Self-Criticism, and How to Break Free

Why is it so hard for us to do what we actually want to do? In this episode, Forrest explains the hidden structure of self-abandonment: how shame drives the loop, how the loop produces more shame, and how the inner critic uses a “can’t win” situation to keep us stuck. Then he and Dr. Rick explore what actually breaks the cycle, including the role of anger, the difference between shame and grief, self-compassion, and what it really means to get on your own side. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro and overview of self-abandonment 4:38: What are we abandoning? 8:30: The self-abandonment loop 21:55: How a parts model can help us understand the shame 26:20: The double-bind of self-criticism 32:56: How to get out of the double-bind 41:34: Anger and resentment 49:47: Moving from shame to grief 56:15: Breaking the self-abandonment loop 1:10:22: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(477)

From Insight to Action: How to Face the Fear You Keep Avoiding

From Insight to Action: How to Face the Fear You Keep Avoiding

Dr. Rick and Forrest continue last week’s conversation on avoidance coping, this time focusing on how to move from insight into meaningful action. They explore why self-awareness often isn’t enough to...

6 Jul 1h 15min

Breaking the Avoidance Loop: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns

Breaking the Avoidance Loop: Why You Keep Repeating the Same Patterns

We all have patterns we can see clearly…and still can't seem to stop. Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how avoidance fuels these patterns, and how we can break the avoidance loop by updating our expectati...

29 Jun 1h 7min

The Secret to Happiness: How to Feel Loved with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

The Secret to Happiness: How to Feel Loved with Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky

Forrest is joined by one of the world's leading happiness researchers, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky, to discuss the real secret to happiness: feeling loved. Dr. Lyubomirsky explains the key difference betwee...

22 Jun 1h 14min

How to Repair: The Key to Successful Relationships

How to Repair: The Key to Successful Relationships

Last week, Dr. Rick and Forrest discussed why healthy conflict is a vital part of strong and intimate relationships. Today, they focus on the how-to of effective repair: what it looks like, why it’s s...

15 Jun 1h 24min

Healthy Conflict: The Most Important Relationship Skill We Don’t Learn

Healthy Conflict: The Most Important Relationship Skill We Don’t Learn

Most of us are pretty bad at conflict, usually because we weren’t taught how to handle it well. But healthy conflict can be one of the best ways to deepen intimacy and trust. In this episode Dr. Rick ...

8 Jun 1h 4min

The Gut-Brain Connection: Anxiety, Depression, and Wellness Fads with Dr. Trisha Pasricha

The Gut-Brain Connection: Anxiety, Depression, and Wellness Fads with Dr. Trisha Pasricha

Forrest is joined by neurogastroenterologist Dr. Trisha Pasricha for a conversation about the gut-brain connection, including how gut health impacts our mood and mental health. Dr. Pasricha explains h...

1 Jun 1h 4min

Right Effort: When to Push and When to Let Go with Yung Pueblo

Right Effort: When to Push and When to Let Go with Yung Pueblo

Forrest is joined by author, meditator, and friend Diego Perez, also known as Yung Pueblo, for a conversation about right effort, the balance between pushing through and letting go, and the death of n...

25 Mai 1h 2min

Reparenting Yourself: How to Develop Emotional Maturity | Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Reparenting Yourself: How to Develop Emotional Maturity | Dr. Lindsay Gibson

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore how we can reparent ourselves, recover from emotionally immature parenting, and develop greater emotional maturity. They discuss what emotional maturity act...

18 Mai 1h 23min

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