Episode 157 - Leaving Polygamy, Finding my Voice with Shirlee Draper

Today, I get to talk with someone whose story has stayed with me for years. Shirlee Draper grew up in a polygamist community that became more controlling and unsafe as time went on. With no money, no work history, and no support outside her community, she made the difficult decision to leave everything behind and start over. We discuss the tension between staying and knowing something isn’t right, and what it takes to start trusting yourself again. This conversation is not just about Shirlee’s journey—it’s about what can happen when women find their voice and their autonomy. Here’s what we cover:

• How Shirlee spent years saving money and quietly planning before she could leave
• What it means to choose the “least harmful option” when every choice feels like a betrayal
• Why we can’t understand other people’s choices without their experiences and context
• Why decision-making is something you have to learn after being told what to do your whole life
• What it looks like to help women build their own inner voice instead of replacing it with another authority

Shirlee Draper was born and raised in “Short Creek.” After leaving the community, she obtained a Bachelor of Social Work and a Master of Public Administration. She has served in many capacities in the rebirth of her hometown, including facilitating the election of the first female mayor in 2017; opening a community health clinic in 2019; serving on the board of the UEP Trust and Short Creek Community Center; and part of the Collective Impact project aimed at community revitalization.She is employed as Deputy Director for Cherish Families, a social service nonprofit which helps people from polygamous backgrounds move from crisis to thriving. She specializes in bridging the population with mainstream society and provides education for outside service providers and government agencies She also serves on several state and civic committees. Shirlee lives in St. George with her special needs children and loves to play the piano, read and travel.

Find Shirlee here:

cherishfamilies.org

instagram.com/shirlee_jd

facebook.com/shirlee.draper

linkedin.com/in/shirlee-draper

lostandfound.club/events

Support Cherish Families' work

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sarafisk.coach

pages.sarafisk.coach/difficultconversations

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tiktok.com/@sarafiskcoach

youtube.com/@sarafiskcoaching1333

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