SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

SS 261: Mistakes Happen - Processing After Boundary Violations or Safer Sex Failures

It's pretty much a given that, at some point or another in swinging or polyamory, there will be boundary violations, safer sex failures, and other moments you'd talked about and thought about and made rules about. No matter how much hypothetical thought goes into it, though, often being confronted with these things in the real world can cause some serious "knocked on your ass" moments. Tonight we talk about how to process boundary violations, safer sex failures, and the importance of compassion throughout the process.

Dylan relayed his recent protection failure story, consisting of a condom sliding off during sex resulting in condomless ejaculation. While the story and the people involved were incredibly sexy, the mistakes made (delaying telling a partner, processing the failure as offense, lack of perspective on the risk of playing with others) resulted in an otherwise pleasant encounter into something to suffer through.

Cooper makes the point that something will happen over the course of a swinging lifetime, and that you should treat others how you'd want to be treated if you were the one who'd "screwed up" somehow, that compassion in necessary because everyone is hurting when there's no intent to harm.

The group moves into discussing "odd-man out" scenarios in which (usually) the male half of a couple who ends up not playing has a choice on whether to be mopey and whiny about it, or whether to enjoy his partner's pleasure and the atmosphere, and to potentially live to play again later in the night. Dylan once again relays a story of not taking his usual care to see the "odd-man out" partner before joining his wife in a threesome, and speaks of some real regret in not doing so after seeing a well meaning person hurting.


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While we're on Google Play Podcasts, they don't appear to support a review option yet so... hang tight on that, and we apparently aren't on Spotify yet. Dylan spoke a little too soon. We'd sack him but we'd have to hire a hundred monkey editors to replace him and that's a lot of work but you. #grrDYLAN

We have TEN rooms left for our 2016 trip to Desire! Sign up now! November 5th through 12th, 2016!

Leave us a comment on this post or at contact@lifeontheswingset.com or leave us a voicemail at 573-55-SWING (573-557-9464). Find Cooper on Twitter @CooperSBeckett, Dylan on Twitter @DylanTheThomas, and Ginger on twitter @GingerNTheProf.

You can Cooper's novel about swinging, A Life Less Monogamous, at alifelessmonogamous.com or his memoir My Life on the Swingset: Adventures in Swinging & Polyamory at mylifeontheswingset.com as an ebook, paperback, or audiobook and if you buy them from his sites, use promo code SWINGSET to save 10%!

Today's podcast featured music by:

Rich Edwards - For You (featuring Park Avenue)

Richard Caddock, WRLD, Nitro Fun, Slips & Slurs & Subtact - Break The Silence

Cooper S Beckett Ginger Bentham Dylan Thomas

Episoder(431)

SS 075: Gang-Bang The Mailbag II - Oral Sex & Cum, Bad Swinging Experiences, Drinking, Chemistry, & Primary Partners

SS 075: Gang-Bang The Mailbag II - Oral Sex & Cum, Bad Swinging Experiences, Drinking, Chemistry, & Primary Partners

To celebrate our 75th episode we go back to gangbanging the mailbag for another listener question episode. We get excited that Shira's transient boy is staying in America and Cooper is narrating Tristan Taormino's radio show. Our ire is raised that the Catholic church is suing about birth control. Then our listeners ask us to talk about spanking, kinks to watch, revisiting oral sex to talk about cum, the girls talk about how much they enjoy watching men ejaculate, how to bounce back from a bad swinging experience, to drink or not to drink at clubs, one sided chemistry and interest, and primary partners growing apart.

29 Mai 20121h 1min

SS 074: Tristan Taormino Talks Kink, Anal Sex, Fisting, Pegging & Her New Project

SS 074: Tristan Taormino Talks Kink, Anal Sex, Fisting, Pegging & Her New Project

Tristan Taormino returns to the Swingset to give Cooper some advice on NRE, discuss her new book The Ultimate Guide to Kink, and talk about her new project, a weekly live call-in radio show called Sex Out Loud on VoiceAmerica.com starting June 1st.

19 Mai 20121h 6min

SS 073: Sex Positive Education Surrounding Swinging, Polyamory, & Other Non-Monogamy

SS 073: Sex Positive Education Surrounding Swinging, Polyamory, & Other Non-Monogamy

Pepper Mint discusses Sex Positive Classes, Conferences, and hosting OpenSF on this episode of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast!

7 Mai 20121h 17min

SS 072:  Hard Kink - Needles, Breath Play, Spanking, & More

SS 072: Hard Kink - Needles, Breath Play, Spanking, & More

Pepper Mint (@freaksexual, http://freaksexual.com/) rejois the Swingset for discussion on hard kink. We open with a discussion about mommy porn and Fifty Shades of Grey and move into discussion about the BDSM and kink communities, plow through into contracts, talk about our actual kinks. Dylan asks about punching, Shira emotes about being punched in the butt, and Cooper cringes when needle play is mentioned, and we end by talking about how wonderful the human body is and how people process histories of abuse and sometimes use kinks to help.   Join the Swingset crew at Desire Resort & Spa from November 3-10, 2012!

30 Apr 20121h 23min

SS 071: Words Matter - Vanilla VS Swinging, Polyamory, and Open

SS 071: Words Matter - Vanilla VS Swinging, Polyamory, and Open

We are joined by The Professor and Boris & Doris of the Boris & Doris Podcast to follow up on a discussion prompted by Gay Rick from Sex Is Fun on his Facebook page. We discuss the uniqueness of the term "Vanilla" as it relates to open relationships, sex positivity, BDSM crowds, and whether it is, in general a positive or negative.

23 Apr 201255min

SS 070: Ginger & The Professor In Paradise at Desire Resort & Spa

SS 070: Ginger & The Professor In Paradise at Desire Resort & Spa

Shira talks about sapiosexual foreplay. Cooper discusses building an untraditional family and continues his baby phobia. Ginger and the Professor have just returned from the Swingercast Desire Resort & Spa trip and tell us about their time in paradise. (Ginger spends the VAST majority of this episode giggling.) The Professor paints a beautiful word portrait of a nude Shira B. Katz striding along the beach with glistening wet labia. And Cooper insists that geese are bastards.

16 Apr 20121h 3min

SS 069: Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Rim Jobs, Oh Yes

SS 069: Oral Sex, Cunnilingus, Rim Jobs, Oh Yes

Oral Sex. Cunnilingus. Rim Jobs. Today we discuss anything and everything oral on this episode of Life on the Swingset, The Podcast! We start with the basics, what we prefer, what we enjoy, and delve into different types of oral play. After a rousing instructional segment on how to suck Dylan's cock, Shira B. Katz gives us both information and directions on better oral play with barriers.

2 Apr 20121h 15min

SS 068:  Ch-Ch-Changes - Swinging, Polyamory, & Non-Monogamy Explorations

SS 068: Ch-Ch-Changes - Swinging, Polyamory, & Non-Monogamy Explorations

In this show, we talk about one of our favorite subjects... ourselves! We've been steadily evolving and felt like keeping all of you up-to-date on where are we going, why we're moving in that direction, all while throwing in a bit of misdirection with Metroid and Mega Man to keep you guessing. We address two listener questions / comments and all in all have a good time sharing our lives with each other.

26 Mar 20121h 16min

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