How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love

How Past Wounds Distort Your Definition of Love

How do childhood wounds, past relationships, and old emotional patterns shape your definition of love? In this episode, John Kim explores how relationship residue turns into distorted definitions of love. He breaks down how early experiences, family dynamics, unhealthy conflict, self-sacrifice, and internalized pain can create a damaging love blueprint that follows us into adulthood. John unpacks the unhealthy ways many people define love, including love as self-sacrifice, possession, completion, and dependency. He explains how these distorted beliefs can lead to codependency, control, unrealistic expectations, self-abandonment, and unhealthy relationship patterns. He also shares how heartbreak, expired relationships, and self-awareness can become a corrective love experience that helps you redefine love in a healthier way. Instead of losing yourself in romance, healthy love is built through interdependence, communication, compassion, conflict repair, individuality, and emotional growth. If you’ve ever struggled with attachment wounds, toxic relationship patterns, fear of abandonment, or confusion about what real love looks like, this episode will help you question the definitions you inherited and create a healthier, more grounded version of love. 🎙️ Host Links: 📘Pre order my new book, Love Hard On Purpose. Toss the blueprints. Build something honest. https://a.co/d/031PzkW4 📘 Read John’s book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack ⁠HERE⁠ If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose,⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow John on Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Find out more about John⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Episoder(1103)

Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure

Therapy Thursdays | Why You’re Stuck, What Real Intimacy Feels Like & Letting Go Without Closure

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How We Sabotage Ourselves

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26 Aug 20min

10 Questions About Love

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What happens when I know better but still find myself repeating the same relationship patterns? I answer 10 questions about love, attachment, obsession, loneliness, breakups, abuse, reconciliation, an...

24 Aug 23min

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

Are you in love or attached to the fantasy?

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19 Aug 38min

The house you grew up in still lives inside you

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17 Aug 23min

Therapy Thursdays | How to know what’s actually healthy for you

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In this Therapy Thursdays episode, I’m answering the relationship and personal-growth questions we often think about but don’t always know how to ask. What does an emotionally safe relationship act...

13 Aug 15min

When Enough Is Finally Enough: What It Means to Live a Meaningful Life with Buddy Wakefield

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When is enough enough? What if the life you're chasing is based on someone else's definition of success? In this conversation, John Kim and Buddy Wakefield explore the difference between going wide a...

12 Aug 29min

Stop letting the world decide how you feel

Stop letting the world decide how you feel

What if the biggest factor affecting your mental health isn’t what happens to you, but which container you’re paying attention to? In this personal check-in from Mexico City, I reflect on the diffe...

10 Aug 19min

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