So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

So Tell Me About The Last Time You Had Sex (ft. Ian Kerner)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) sits down with sex therapist and author Ian Kerner to break down what’s really going on in your sex life, starting with one simple question: “So tell me about the last time you had sex.”

From there, they unpack the patterns most couples fall into and why sex often becomes routine, disconnected, or unsatisfying over time. This episode dives into the hidden dynamics behind desire, communication, and intimacy and how to actually fix them.

They cover:

  • sex scripts and why most people follow the same predictable pattern
  • spontaneous vs responsive desire and why mismatched libidos happen
  • why initiation often fails (and creates rejection cycles)
  • obligation sex vs genuinely wanting it
  • the role of foreplay, arousal, and why rushing to penetration backfires
  • the orgasm gap and importance of clitoral stimulation
  • why couples stop prioritizing sex in long-term relationships
  • communication struggles and how to actually say what you want
  • turning complaints into clear desires
  • building anticipation, tension, and erotic connection
  • practical tools like the “willingness window”
  • how to create better sex through intention, not just chemistry


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Episoder(112)

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Former Sex Worker on Hiring a Male Escort, OnlyFans & the Loneliness Epidemic (ft. Coral Osborne)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets back in bed with Coral Osborne (@theunrealcoralosborne), sexologist, intimacy coach for men, former sex worker, and writer. Coral shares how sex work has ch...

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Pt.2 - 3 Sluts, 3 Moods: Cream Pies, Pussy Health, & Feeling Chosen (Vee & Elle - Girls Gone Deep)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Vee and Elle from the Girls Gone Deep podcast for Part 2/2. Together they explore whether non-monogamy is really about unmet needs, what happens...

25 Jun 41min

Pt. 1 - 3 Sluts, 3 Moods: Postpartum Sex, Polyamory & Childfree Dating (Vee & Elle - Girls Gone Deep)

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Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Vee and Elle from the Girls Gone Deep podcast for an honest conversation about sexuality, identity, motherhood, non-monogamy, desire, dating, pl...

18 Jun 45min

The Conversation About Porn We're Too Afraid to Have (ft. Noelle Perdue)

The Conversation About Porn We're Too Afraid to Have (ft. Noelle Perdue)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with porn historian, writer, and adult industry expert Noelle Perdue for a fascinating conversation about pornography, fantasy, sexuality, kink, tech...

11 Jun 56min

The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

The Ethics of Public Sex: Consent, Kink & Social Norms (ft. Tara Michaela)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with sex educator Tara Michaela for a nuanced conversation about the ethics of public sex, public play, PDA, kink visibility, consent, social norms, ...

4 Jun 55min

Her Nudes Were Leaked. Now She Helps Victims Get Justice (ft. Norma Buster)

Her Nudes Were Leaked. Now She Helps Victims Get Justice (ft. Norma Buster)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with Norma Buster, sex positive victims rights advocate, Chief of Staff at CA Goldberg Law, survivor of image-based abuse, and online sex worker, for...

21 Mai 57min

Inside a Real Open Marriage: Hiring Sex Workers, Outsourcing Anal & Adding Novelty (ft. Kate Shelor)

Inside a Real Open Marriage: Hiring Sex Workers, Outsourcing Anal & Adding Novelty (ft. Kate Shelor)

Sexologist Alexa Andre (@sexwithalexa) gets in bed with hypnotherapist, content creator, and non-monogamy advocate Kate Shelor for an unfiltered conversation about open relationships, outsourcing fant...

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