Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel20 Apr

Is This the Person I'm Meant to Be With?

They arrive in Esther’s office at a crossroads. A year ago, they decided to de-escalate their relationship: to transition from romantic partners to live-in roommates. In their decade-long relationship, they had become stuck in dysfunctional patterns and toxic behaviors. But they didn’t want to force a complete separation: they still loved each other, and they couldn’t afford to move out on their own. A year into this platonic experiment, things feel better between them. Does this mean they should they get back together? Or does it mean that by continuing to live together, they are prohibiting each other from moving on? Are they meant to be each other’s lifelong partners or best friends? Producer’s Note: When our anonymous guests do a session with Esther for the podcast, it is an act of generosity for everyone who listens. These sessions are meant not only to support the people in the room with Esther, but all of us who learn from their stories. Our stories have many chapters, and what you hear is just one moment in someone’s journey. So even though the sessions are anonymous, please remember that real people are behind them and they may be reading your comments. My annual Sessions Live two-day live event is coming up next month! Through clinical, cultural, and creative perspectives, Sessions Live 2026: Cultivating Aliveness: Desire & Its Disruptions explores how relationships are evolving, and how we can translate those insights into practice. Whether you’re a practicing clinician or curious mind, you’ll discover fresh insights and takeaways to help you connect and thrive. Come see me live on May 15th and 16th in NYC! Podcast listeners get a special discount with the code FRIENDSLIVE to get $100 off an in-person ticket, or FRIENDSVIRTUAL for $50 off a virtual ticket at checkout on the Sessions Live ticket page. Also, please join me on Entre Nous, my new home on Substack for anyone who wants to live, love, and work with more connection and imagination. I invite you to sign up and become a free or paid member at estherperel.substack.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Episoder(152)

Am I Being Gaslit?

In this classic Esther Calling, Esther talks to a woman looking for clarity on whether she's being overly sensitive to her partner's critiques or if he is, in fact, gaslighting her. She has struggled ...

10 Aug 36min

I Love My Partner, So Why Can’t I Let Go of My Ex?

What is the distinction between a love story and a life story? And what happens when they no longer move in the same direction? After returning to the Philippines to reconnect with a former partner sh...

3 Aug 50min

Burdens of the Family

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They share a legacy of war, a refugee upbringing and family trauma. Their marriage was seen as taboo and now they're trying to build a happier relat...

27 Jul 42min

Is Using ChatGPT Hurting My Relationship?

She comes to Esther with a question that feels distinctly of this moment: when does a tool become a transgression? After leaving a long, stable marriage, she finds herself in a new relationship marked...

20 Jul 52min

You Slept With My Best Friend

The two couples had been inseparable—neighbors, chosen family, godparents to each other's children. She reaches out to Esther in despair after discovering that her husband had a ten-year-old affair wi...

13 Jul 54min

My Hero Complex

When his ex calls in the middle of a crisis, he finds himself pulled back into a familiar role: the rescuer. He's always been the one women confide in, the one who steps up, the one who proves he's a ...

29 Jun 40min

20 Years Later, Esther Revisits Mating in Captivity

This week, Esther invites you into a conversation about desire, disruption, and what it means to stay alive to one another in a rapidly changing world. Recorded live at Sessions Live, Esther is joi...

22 Jun 44min

In This Relationship What Is "I" and What is "We"?

This is a classic session of Where Should We Begin? They grew up with traumatic backgrounds, met in college, immigrated to the US together. They've built stability and security, and now one of them lo...

15 Jun 46min