88. Conflict Avoidance Leads to Conflict: How Skilled Negotiators Build Lasting Peace // Stan Christensen

What does negotiation have to do with peacemaking? Turns out, A LOT. Stan Christensen has spent decades negotiating in over 75 countries — between governments, ethnic groups, and armed factions — and he joins Wiser World to bring that hard-won wisdom down to earth. We talk about why conflict avoidance creates more conflict, how trust is built and broken, what skilled negotiators do differently, and why Stan believes there is no such thing as an intractable conflict. This one will change how you see every difficult conversation in your life. Check out Stan's podcast "All Things Negotiation" to learn more about negotiation. Transcript for this episode. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 – Introduction & Stan's background 02:57 – What is negotiation, really? 04:10 – How negotiation and peacemaking differ 05:33 – Inside peace negotiations: what actually happens in the room 06:59 – What separates skilled negotiators from unskilled ones 09:27 – "Conflict avoidance leads to conflict" 10:20 – The key skills: curiosity, inquiry, and the orange story 14:41 – How trust is built (and broken) 17:32 – Why negotiation is never really a one-time thing 20:37 – How culture shapes negotiation (Colombia & France stories) 32:27 – The power of questioning your own assumptions 35:52 – There is no such thing as an intractable conflict 37:41 – The Peru-Ecuador story: finding common ground 40:50 – A seven-element framework for preparing to negotiate 44:56 – Reframing conflict as "creative problem solving" 48:41 – Negotiating with someone who has more power than you 53:04 – The role of emotion in conflict resolution 55:35 – "Go to the balcony": how to avoid getting emotionally hijacked 59:19 – Why we all under-apologize — and why it matters 1:02:25 – Apology at the macro level: why politicians won't do it 1:05:35 – What gives Stan hope 1:07:21 – Stan's one takeaway for listeners For Wiser World: Find additional resources, ad-free episodes, bonus episodes, and support the podcast at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Patreon.com/wiserworldpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Join us on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/wiserworldpodcast/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Sign up for our free weekly email newsletter at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://wiserworld.com/⁠⁠⁠⁠ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices