Parts and Perimenopause with Melissa Monahan — IFS for the Transition Nobody Warned Us About

I didn't know frozen shoulder was a perimenopause symptom. Neither did Melissa Monahan, this week's podcast guest, and she's a therapist living through it herself.

This week Melissa joins me on the podcast to talk about the mental health side of perimenopause and menopause, and what IFS can offer women going through it. She's an IFS Level 2 therapist and host of Mindfully Meni, a podcast and Substack for women in this chapter of life -- and the people who love them.

In this episode we talk about the changes happening in our inner worlds during this transition, and how IFS can help us make sense of and befriend parts whose burdens we may be noticing for the first time.

Takeaways

• Perimenopause is as much an identity transition as a physical one.
• As estrogen drops, the manager parts lose their primary tool. Anger, anxiety, and old wounds may surface.
• Parts that were managed and exiled for years may now need additional care and compassion
• I share about my angry part around hot flashes, and what happened when I got curious instead of contemptuous.
• Anger in women going through this transition is often the first time they've allowed themselves to feel it.
• The polarization between shrinking completely and blowing everything up is a parts pattern, not a personality flaw.
• Melissa went to PT for weeks for a frozen shoulder that kept getting worse. A surgeon finally told her it was common in women her age. Nobody had connected it to perimenopause. That's the gap she's trying to close.
• Community is not optional. It is medicine.

Be sure to check out my extended interview with Melissa over on The One Inside on Substack

About Melissa

Melissa Monahan is a licensed mental health counselor and IFS Level 2 therapist specializing in perimenopause and menopause. She integrates IFS, EMDR, and Brainspotting to support women through the hormonal and emotional dimensions of this transition, with a focus on the mental health conversation perimenopause deserves. She hosts Mindfully Meni, a podcast and Substack community for women in this chapter and for the people who love them. Melissa also offers clinical consultation for therapists working with this population and is building resources for clinicians.

Episode Sponsor

This episode is sponsored by Therapy Training Boston.

Therapy Training Boston offers live, in-person, and online workshops, plus consultation for therapists and other helping professionals, designed to support you as a whole person while satisfying your CE requirements. All of their offerings are taught with an eye toward context, power, and relational justice, and draw on the family systems theories and best practices that shaped the IFS model. They also offer an Intensive Certificate Program in Couples and Family Therapy to help you build confidence and capacity in community.

About The One Inside

I started this podcast to help spread IFS out into the world and make the model more accessible to everyone. Seven years later, that's still at the heart of all we do.

• Join The One Inside Substack community for bonus conversations, extended interviews, meditations, and more.

• Find Self-Led merch at The One Inside store.

• Listen to episodes and watch clips on YouTube.

• Follow me on Instagram @ifstammy or on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

I co-create The One Inside with Jeff Schrum, a Level 2 IFS practitioner and coach.

Resources

• New to IFS? My book, The One Inside: Thirty Days to Your Authentic Self, is a great place to start.

• Want a free meditation? Sign up for my email list and get "Get to Know a Should Part" right away.

Sponsorship

Want to sponsor an episode of The One Inside? Email Tammy.