335 SelfWork: The Quartet of Self-Sabotage: Procrastination, Perfectionism, The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, and Imposter Syndrome

335 SelfWork: The Quartet of Self-Sabotage: Procrastination, Perfectionism, The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, and Imposter Syndrome

Today on SelfWork we’re going to focus on self-sabotage – when you are doing things or not doing things that seem to get in the way of achieving something or creating the life you say you want.

I want to talk more about the fear that’s underneath self-sabotage. Because one way of looking at sabotage is that it’s not sabotage at all. It’s really one part of you – the part that’s afraid – protecting that fear or avoiding it. So, what can seem as if you’re “getting in your own way” can actually be your mind working to keep you safe from a fear that you may be conscious of, or not conscious of at all.

Let's focus on a quartet of players in the self-sabotage realm: procrastination, perfectionism, a negative self-fulfilling prophecy, and of course, imposter syndrome. And as always, we'll talk about... what you can do about it.

The Speakpipe voicemail for today is from a woman who’s realized that, in order to have a sense of control, that she not only lives out her plans for today, but tries to complete things early – things she might have a plan to do tomorrow – she does today. And yet as she says, “That’s not how time works." Loved her comment and wanted to share.

Vital Links:

Have you been putting off getting help in 2023? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

We welcome back BiOptimzers and Magnesium Breakthrough as a returning sponsor to SelfWork and they have a new offer! Just click here! Make sure you use the code "selfwork10" to check out free product!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it's available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!

And there's another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

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Episoder(569)

519 SelfWork: Daring to Face the Fear of Public Speaking (And Other Anxieties)

519 SelfWork: Daring to Face the Fear of Public Speaking (And Other Anxieties)

Dr. Margaret and her TEDx speech coach, Brian Miller, talk about challenging the fear of public speaking and the importance of human connection. "Go out and make a dent in the universe." These are th...

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518 SelfWork: How To Use Your Innate Intuition to Heal and Grow

518 SelfWork: How To Use Your Innate Intuition to Heal and Grow

Today we're talking with two experts on tuning into your own intuition. Sarah Gregg is a psychologist and a published author with over 90,000 copies of her books sold. And Jill Ritchie is a highly so...

2 Okt 38min

517 SelfWork: Challenging Your Fear and The Underlying Assumptions That Keep It Alive

517 SelfWork: Challenging Your Fear and The Underlying Assumptions That Keep It Alive

There’s a word for intense fear of change. Metathesiophobia. That’s when your fear of change is so strong and affects your life so intensely that you’ve developed an actual phobia around change. If t...

25 Sep 22min

516 SelfWork: Panicked About Panic: 5 Surefire Ways to Calm Your Nervous System

516 SelfWork: Panicked About Panic: 5 Surefire Ways to Calm Your Nervous System

Having a panic disorder is bad enough. You may be able to anticipate it happening; for example, if you tend to panic when you see a spider or a snake. But other times, panic attacks – the sudden ons...

18 Sep 24min

515 SelfWork: Enhance Your Skills: Listening Someone Into Existence with Doug Noll

515 SelfWork: Enhance Your Skills: Listening Someone Into Existence with Doug Noll

Today we'll focus on how to listen to someone so that they feel truly understood and seen. And it may not be a kind of listening that you know about. It's a method called "affect labeling" - meaning ...

11 Sep 35min

514 SelfWork: Three Essential Questions to Identify Your Role Model

514 SelfWork: Three Essential Questions to Identify Your Role Model

Today I'm focusing on three role models in my own life and the questions you can ask to help you identify your own. Dolly Parton. Maya Angelou. And a woman named "Snooky." Advertising Inquiries: ht...

4 Sep 23min

513 SelfWork: Inside A Psych Ward: A New Book by JaKob Williams, Chock Full of Nuts

513 SelfWork: Inside A Psych Ward: A New Book by JaKob Williams, Chock Full of Nuts

You may never have been on the inside of a psych ward. In his new book, JaKob Williams takes you there. Or at least, he takes you to his version of a residential psych ward. He's an interesting guy....

28 Aug 42min

512 SelfWork: CBT for Insomnia and Its 100% Effective Cure: Dr. Nick Wignall

512 SelfWork: CBT for Insomnia and Its 100% Effective Cure: Dr. Nick Wignall

Dr. Nick Wignall continues as Dr. Margaret's guest this week, as we switch from focusing on emotional fitness to the 100% effective CBT tool for curing insomnia, called sleep compression. It's hard t...

21 Aug 28min

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