The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Episoder(2690)

Monday, March 20, 2017

Monday, March 20, 2017

There is no knock on the door, just the sound of a SWAT team smashing through it. Times reporter Kevin Sack talks about his year-long investigation into a controversial police tactic. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nAHfHi. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

20 Mar 201716min

Friday, March 17, 2017

Friday, March 17, 2017

As a candidate, Donald J. Trump called for a total Muslim ban. Now that he’s president, the courts won’t let him forget it. And as the White House fights to protect the travel ban, we discuss the immigration story of our vice president, Mike Pence. Guests: Adam Liptak, the Supreme Court reporter for The New York Times; Sheryl Gay Stolberg, The Times’s domestic affairs correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nQS8lw. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

17 Mar 201722min

Thursday, March 16, 2017

Thursday, March 16, 2017

President Trump’s plan to deregulate America is underway. He’s starting in the heart of America, with one of Barack Obama’s most cherished regulations. And Mr. Trump will soon meet with Chancellor Angela Merkel of Germany for the first time. Guests: Eric Lipton, an investigative reporter for The Times who’s tracking every regulatory change under the Trump administration; and Alison Smale, The Times’s Berlin bureau chief. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2nM3R4b. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

16 Mar 201720min

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Eight men. Ten days. An extraordinary plan to rush a series of executions on Arkansas’ death row. Guest: Alan Blinder, the New York Times reporter who is tracking the case. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mwxoym. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

15 Mar 201719min

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

The rise of the far right in Europe. Why the populism that put Donald J. Trump in the White House is starting to sweep across the Continent, as voters there confront similar questions of national identity and immigration. Guests: Amanda Taub and Max Fisher, who write the Interpreter column for The New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2n9sMC1. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

14 Mar 201718min

Monday, March 13, 2017

Monday, March 13, 2017

What the F.B.I.’s most wanted cybercriminal can tell us about how the Russian government has created such a sophisticated hacking program. Guests: Michael Schwirtz, a reporter for The New York Times, and Arkady Bukh, a lawyer who defends accused Russian hackers. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mmTd3i. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

13 Mar 201719min

Friday, March 10, 2017

Friday, March 10, 2017

As the Republican answer to the Affordable Care Act moves rapidly through Congress, we look at what the repeal of Obamacare might mean for a rural community in West Virginia. And we sample music from “The EP,” a multitrack collection from The New York Times Magazine of songs that help tell us about this moment in time. Guest: Mitch Jacques, a doctor at a rural clinic. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mRziwH. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

10 Mar 201722min

Thursday, March 9, 2017

Thursday, March 9, 2017

The sanctuary city movement can be traced to a single Presbyterian minister in 1980s Arizona. We tell the story. Guests: Scott Michels, a producer at Retro Report. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mqkDX9. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

9 Mar 201718min

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