The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’
The Daily30 Apr 2023

The Sunday Read: ‘The Agony of Putting Your Life on Hold to Care for Your Parents’

In January 2022, Randi Schofield was a 34-year-old single mother who, not long before, left her full-time job of eight years as a personal bailiff to a local judge. She pulled $30,000 from her retirement savings and was planning to give herself all of 2022 to expand the small catering business she had always dreamed about. This would be the year she bet on herself. Then, that month, she received the news that medics were pulling her father out of his car.

The collision splintered the bone in his left thigh down to his knee; three days later, a metal rod held the broken pieces together. Until his leg recovered from the surgery, he would not be able to walk without assistance. In hindsight, there were warning signs that her father’s health could upend Schofield’s life. But he was also youthful and spirited, and it was easy to believe that everything was fine, that he was fine and that if she were to take care of him some day, it would be occasional and in a distant future. She didn’t see this day coming the way it did, so abruptly and so soon.

Increasing numbers of adult children are taking care of their parents, often shouldering the burden with no pay and little outside help — making their meals, helping them shower, bandaging their wounds and holding them up before they can fall. The social-work scholar Dorothy A. Miller once described this as the “peculiar position” in the modern American nuclear family, between the care people give to their aging parents and to their children. Today’s “sandwich generation” is younger than the version Miller described four decades ago, but it faces the same “unique set of unshared stresses” that she warned of then: acute financial strain, a lack of reciprocated support and “fatigue from fulfilling the demands of too many roles.”

This story was recorded by Audm. To hear more audio stories from publications like The New York Times, download Audm for iPhone or Android.

Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

Episoder(2690)

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Wednesday, March 8, 2017

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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

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7 Mar 201720min

Monday, March 6, 2017

Monday, March 6, 2017

We bring you two newly revealed stories about the transition of power from one president to the next. One is a story of warning; the other a story of accusation. Guests: David E. Sanger and William J. Broad, who have reported together on nuclear arms and missile defense for decades. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2lRvGXb. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

6 Mar 201722min

Friday, March 3, 2017

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What was Jeff Sessions, the new attorney general, doing meeting with the Russian ambassador two months before election day? And who is this mysterious Russian ambassador who has caused so much trouble for not one but two senior officials in the Trump White House? Guests: Matthew Rosenberg, a national security reporter for The New York Times; Peter Baker, our chief White House correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mRrvQa. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

3 Mar 201720min

Thursday, March 2, 2017

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Public assassinations. Chemical weapons in international airports. Open threats of nuclear war. Is North Korea’s strategy so crazy that it just might work? And what we know about President Trump’s plan for “merit-based” immigration. Guests: Max Fisher and Amanda Taub, who write the Interpreter column for The New York Times; Julie Hirschfeld Davis, a White House reporter. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mmdxFp. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

2 Mar 201722min

Wednesday, Mar. 1, 2017

Wednesday, Mar. 1, 2017

In his speech to Congress on Tuesday night, President Trump tells the story of America. It’s a story that looks back, but it also looks forward with an optimistic view of where we’ll be nine years from now, on our 250th anniversary. Guests: Patrick Healy, the deputy culture editor and a former political reporter for The New York Times; Carl Hulse, The Times’s chief Washington correspondent. For more information on today’s episode, visit http://nyti.ms/2mes1ab. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

1 Mar 201719min

Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017

Tuesday, Feb. 28, 2017

How a dinner party in Washington held months before Donald Trump announced his run for president laid the groundwork for his sweeping immigration plans today. Guests: Emily Bazelon, a staff writer for The New York Times Magazine; Joe Cochrane, a correspondent for the International New York Times. For more information on today’s episode, visit nytimes.com/thedaily. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher. For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app.

28 Feb 201720min

Monday, Feb. 27, 2017

Monday, Feb. 27, 2017

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27 Feb 201722min

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