How to Dirty Talk (Without Dying of Embarrassment)

Dirty talk makes Jay-Jay want to crawl under the bed and disappear… so naturally, that’s exactly what this episode is about.

In this episode of How To Have Sex, Jay-Jay Feeney and sex & relationship coach Melissa Vranjes tackle one of the most cringe-inducing parts of intimacy: saying sexy things out loud without dissolving into laughter. If the thought of dirty talk makes you want to do your tax return instead, this episode is definitely for you.

Melissa breaks down why dirty talk doesn’t actually have to be “dirty” at all. It can be playful, flirty, intimate, teasing, affirming, and deeply connecting — whether you’re in the same room or doing long distance. The episode covers how to start small, why texting can be the perfect gateway, how to move away from performative porn-style language, and how to find words that actually feel natural for you.

Jay-Jay, meanwhile, does what Jay-Jay does best: says exactly what everyone else is thinking. Is it awkward? Yes. Will you laugh? Probably. Will you also come away with genuinely useful tips for talking sexy without feeling ridiculous? Also yes.

In this episode, we cover:

• what dirty talk really is
• why so many people find it harder than sex itself
• why sexy texting can be the easiest place to start
• the difference between porn talk and real-life turn-on
• how anticipation can be hotter than explicit language
• how to talk in a way that reflects what you actually desire
• how to laugh through the awkwardness instead of shutting down
• why aftercare and compliments can be part of erotic talk too

Plus, Melissa gives listeners a Pleasure Practice challenge for the week… and puts Jay-Jay on the spot with a live reading exercise that is every bit as awkward and hilarious as you’d hope.

Mel mentions here Dirty Talk Cheat Sheet! You can download a copy of that here

Next episode: Melissa opens up about pregnancy, libido loss, postpartum sex, and what happens when your body feels completely different to the one you used to know.

This podcast is proudly sponsored by Wild Secrets.

Shop online at wildsecrets.co.nz & use the code HAVESEX for 20% off sitewide…

Pleasure Delivered.

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How To Have Sex is produced by PodLab, Auckland. https://www.podlab.co.nz/

HOSTS:

Jay-Jay Feeney – Media Personality

Instagram/TikTok: @JJFeeneyNZ

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JayJayFeeney

Melissa Vranjes – Certified Somatic Sex & Relationship Coach

www.melissavranjes.com

Instagram: @melissavranjes

Ready to feel more confident, connected, and turned on in your body? Join Sex School here: https://www.melissavranjes.com/sex-school

Want more from Mel? She writes a weekly sex column for Woman's Day magazine.

Pick up the latest issue to read it.

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